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  2. Tech 425

    Astrological Afterwards

    Well I'm not going to tell you what Zodiac Sign I am ----------- But dang I'm hungry for Pizza (But I will say I've got Aries in me also )
  3. Great Truths Politicians We stand today at a crossroads: One path leads to despair and utter hopelessness. The other leads to total extinction. Let us hope we have the wisdom to make the right choice. — Woody Allen. American film director and comedian. Those who take the most from the table, teach contentment. Those for whom the taxes are destined, demand sacrifice. Those who eat their fill, speak to the hungry, of wonderful times to come. Those who lead the country into the abyss, call ruling difficult, for ordinary folk. — Bertolt Brecht. Idiot, n. A member of a large and powerful tribe whose influence in human affairs has always been dominant and controlling. — Ambrose Bierce. Three groups spend other people's money: children, thieves, politicians. All three-need supervision. — Richard Armey. In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. — John Adams. If you don’t read the newspaper you are uninformed. If you do read the newspaper you are misinformed. — Mark Twain. Suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But then I repeat myself… — Mark Twain. I contend that for a nation to try to tax itself into prosperity is like a man standing in a bucket and trying to lift himself up by the handle. — Winston Churchill. A government which robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. — George Bernard Shaw. If ever a time should come, when vain and aspiring men shall possess the highest seats in Government, our country will stand in need of its experienced patriots to prevent its ruin. — Samuel Adams. A liberal is someone who feels a great debt to his fellow man, which debt he proposes to pay off with your money. — G. Gordon Liddy. Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys. — P.J. O’Rourke, Civil Libertarian. Government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. — Ronald Reagan. Moral cowardice and intellectual corruption are the natural concomitants of unchallenged privilege. — Noam Chomsky If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it’s free! — P. J. O’Rourke. The problem with political jokes is they get elected. — Henry Cate VII In order to become the master, the politician poses as the servant. — Charles de Gaulle Political history is far too criminal and pathological to be a fit subject of study for the young. Children should acquire their heroes and villains from fiction. — W. H. Auden. The inherent vice of capitalism is the unequal sharing of the blessings. The inherent blessing of socialism is the equal sharing of misery. — Winston Churchill. The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. — Mark Twain. The worst thing that can happen to a good cause is not to be skilfully attacked, but to be ineptly defended. — Frederic Bastiat. Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it whether it exists or not, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedy. — Ernest Benn. What this country needs are more unemployed politicians — Edward Langley, Artist. A government big enough to give you everything you want, is strong enough to take everything you have. — Thomas Jefferson. Power tends to corrupt, and absolute power corrupts absolutely. — Lord Acton. Liberty is not a means to a higher political end. It is the highest political end. — Lord Acton. We have too many high-sounding words, and too few actions that correspond with them. — Abigail Adams. When the political columnists say 'Every thinking man' they mean themselves, and when candidates appeal to 'Every intelligent voter' they mean everybody who is going to vote for them. — Franklin P. Adams. Politics, as a practice, whatever its professions, has always been the systematic organization of hatreds. — Henry Brooks Adams. We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office. — Aesop.
  4. Today
  5. What’s a crafty dancer’s favorite hobby……Cutting a rug.
  6. Time flies like an arrow……But fruit flies like a banana.
  7. Hear that one about Covid-19……It went viral.
  8. A Roman soldier walks into a bar and says……Castlemaine XXXX……The bartender says……Right, forty Castlmaines coming up.
  9. When life gives you melons……You might be dyslexic.
  10. Whats in a name A man sees a nice-looking girl in a bar, so he goes up and starts small talk. Since she seems receptive, he asks her name. "Carmen," she replies. "That's a nice name," he says, warming up the conversation, "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself," she answers. "Oh, that's interesting. Why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men," she says looking directly into his eyes. "What's your name?" the woman asks. "Beervagina," he replies.
  11. uk666

    Bus Crash

    Bus Crash A bus full of housewives going on a picnic crashed with no survivors. Each husband cried for a week, but one husband continued for more than two weeks. When asked he replied miserably: “My wife missed the bus.”
  12. Yesterday
  13. Astrological Afterwards It is possible to deduce the zodiac sign of a new sex partner by the first thing they say after coitus. Aries: OK, let’s do it again. Taurus: I’m hungry. Pass me the pizza. Gemini: Have you seen the remote? Cancer: When are we getting married? Leo: Wasn’t I fantastic? Virgo: I need to wash the sheets. Libra: I liked it if you liked it. Scorpio: Perhaps I should untie you. Sagittarius: Don’t call me – I’ll call you. Capricorn: Do you have a business card? Aquarius: Now let’s try with our clothes off. Pisces: What did you say your name was again?
  14. John Travolta has been hospitalised with Covid19……But the doctors have confirmed it was only Saturday Night Fever and he was Staying Alive.
  15. What’s the best way to avoid touching your face……A glass of wine in each hand.
  16. What types of jokes are allowed during quarantine……Inside jokes.
  17. So many coronavirus jokes out there……It’s a pundemic.
  18. Still no toilet paper in the stores……They’re wiped out and you’re shit out of luck.
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