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How to get to heaven A pastor was doing a teaching for the children and began to ask them these questions. “If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, would that get me into Heaven?" he asked the children. "NO!" the children all answered. "If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, the answer was, "NO!" Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my wife, would that get me into Heaven?" Again, they all answered, "NO!" "Well," I continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?" he asked. A five-year-old boy shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD!!!"