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Showing content with the highest reputation on 10/11/2018 in all areas

  1. 1 point
    Psychology Class At one American university, students in the psychology program were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "what is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," replied the diligent student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma. "Elation," she said. "And you, sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "what about the opposite of woe?" The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be 'giddy up.'"
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    Golfweek A man takes a week off work and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off and soon finds himself catching up with a stunning woman playing in front of him. He suggests that they play against each other for the rest of the day and she agrees. The woman proves to be very talented, and wins on the last hole. Afterwards, she accepts the man's offer of a lift home and, on the way, admits she hasn't enjoyed herself so much for a long time. "In fact," she says, "why don't you pull over so I can show you how much I appreciate it." So the man pulls over and, to his delight, the woman performs oral sex on him. They arrange to play golf again the next morning. Once again, the woman wins, and she shows her appreciation in the same way on the journey home. This goes on all week, until Friday, when the man reveals he has booked dinner at a restaurant and a night of passion in a hotel. On the way there, the woman suddenly bursts into tears. "I can't do it," she says, "You see, I'm a transvestite." The man is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, and pulls the car to a screeching halt. "You f*cking cheat!" he screams. "You've been playing off the ladies' tees all week."
  3. 1 point
    You know you are a manager when... You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization." You refer to dating as test marketing. You can spell "paradigm." You understand your airline's fare structure. You write executive summaries on your love letters. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page paper with six other people you don't know. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities." You know every single piece of clip art in PowerPoint. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt." You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people's asses." You actually believe your explanation in number 11. Your three meals a day are a morning consumption function, a noontime consumption function, and an evening consumption function. You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO." You refer to divorce as "divestiture." Your favourite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child. At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing. You give constructive feedback to your dog.
  4. 1 point
    so my son and i r moving into our new place in town, so i can get cable internet.. instead of the unreliable satellite internet which only had a max speed of 25mbps.. can u say slow.. lol.. so our new speed isn't anything like Tech's 1.1gbps.. buts still crazy fast enough for me.. ill be getting a 100mbps connection, which makes me a very happy man..
  5. 1 point
    Yep I feel alot better now
  6. 1 point
    Hmmm can I tell you where to put your "Notice" ------ In the notice drawer
  7. 1 point
    Hello Cunnuk, Welcome to CyberPhoenix I hope you enjoy your stay and come back often Please follow CyberPhoenix Rules and if you don't see something you want then use Search We also have a Request Section if you can't find something you want Become a CyberPhoenix VIP for Premium Accounts and alot more Administrator
  8. 1 point
    #toomanynoticesbrainonfire.. lmao..
  9. 1 point
    pft so wrong, but oh so funny..
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    updated new public torrent sites in OP..
  16. 1 point
    007 - James Bond James Bond walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance, and then casually looks at his watch. The woman notices this and asks, "Is your date running late?" "No," he replies, "Q has just given me this state-of-the-art watch. I was just testing it." The intrigued woman says, "State-of-the-art watch? What is so special about it?" "It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically," Bond explains. "So what's it telling you now?" says the woman. "Well, it says you're not wearing any panties," Bond replies. The woman giggles and says, "Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!" Bond smirks, taps his watch and says, "Bloody thing's an hour fast."
  17. 1 point
    10 Reasons Trick-or-Treating is Better than Sex You’re guaranteed to get a little something in the sack. The uglier you are, the easier it is to get some. It doesn’t matter if the kids hear you moaning and groaning. Less guilt the morning after. It doesn’t matter if they fantasize you’re somebody else, because you are. Forty years from now, you’ll still enjoy candy. If you don’t get what you want, you can always go next door. If you get tired, you can wait 10 minutes and go again. You don’t have to compliment the person who gives you some. You can do the whole neighborhood!
  18. 1 point
    Special High Intensity Training TO: ALL EMPLOYEES SUBJECT: SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P. S.H.I.T.). If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).
  19. 1 point
    I was furious when I found my wife's profile on an on-line dating website....That lying bitch isn't, "Fun to be around."
  20. 1 point
    The guy who invented throat lozenges just died....I heard there will be no coffin at his funeral.
  21. 1 point
    I bought a thesaurus at a store today. Brought it home to find all the pages were blank....I have no words to describe how angry I am
  22. 0 points
    My Internet Speed has been updated (My Upload speed still isn't that good until they finish with the main line and fine tuning - But I love my Download Speed)