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France Customs An elderly Canadian gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French customs desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know enough to have your passport ready." The Canadian said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible, Canadians always have to show your passports on arrival in France!" The Canadian senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look, then he quietly explained, "Well, when I came ashore at Juno Beach on D Day in 1944 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any Frenchmen to show it to."

Astronaut Anna Fisher: The First Mom in Space Anna Fisher, astronaut, with stars in her eyes on the cover of Life magazine in 1985.

Exercise for the nonathletic Calories can be burned by the hundreds by engaging in strenuous activities that do not require physical exercise. Exercise......................................... Calories burned per hour Beating around the bush....................75 Jumping to conclusions.....................100 Climbing the walls.............................150 Swallowing your pride........................50 Passing the buck...............................25 Throwing your weight around (depending on your weight)...............50-300 Dragging your heels..........................100 Pushing your luck..............................250 Making mountains out of molehills......500 Hitting the nail on the head................50 Wading through paperwork................300 Bending over backwards....................75 Jumping on the bandwagon...............200 Balancing the books..........................25 Running around in circles...................350 Eating crow......................................225 Tooting your own horn......................25 Climbing the ladder of success...........750 Pulling out the stops.........................75 Adding fuel to the fire.......................160 Wrapping it up at the day's end.........12 To which you may want to add your own favourite activities, including: Opening a can of worms ..................50 Putting your foot in your mouth........300 Starting the ball rolling.....................90 Going over the edge.........................25 Picking up the pieces after……..........350

Management Styles 1) MANAGING BY WALKING FASTER THAN THE EMPLOYEES These kind of managers you will always see in the corridor, ten steps away. "We'll have to talk" you can hear them say, just as they have disappeared around the corner. 2) MANAGING BY STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW These managers you usually meet with their backside faced to you with their hands in their pockets. When you talk to them, their thoughts keep staring out of the windows. 3) MANAGING BY POST-IT'S Some managers forget everything. They want to impress you with their 'busy'ness by continuously writing on Post-it's while you are talking. 4) MANAGING BY DELEGATION TO THE SECRETARY These managers just delegate everything to the secretary. If he is good, He knows what she must do. 5) MANAGING BY KNOWING NOTHING These managers don't really know anything at all. They let YOU give answers. Meanwhile they fill the time with nice anecdotes of irrelevant cases. 6) MANAGING BY CONCEPTUAL THINKING These people try to explain the present from a theoretical view of the far future. The idea that this never will work, completely satisfies them: They will always have something to talk about. 7) MANAGING BY HIDING INFORMATION Information hiders are aware of the market value of strictly secret kept information. You must be very thankful to get any information at all. Beware of simulants from category 5! 8) MANAGING BY DOING EXACTLY WHAT THE BOSS SAYS These managers prevent their bosses from creative thinking. Else they got more work to do. 9) MANAGING BY WALKING ONE FOOT BEHIND THE BOSS In hierarchical organizations you can watch those groups walking in the corridor. The more equal managers are directly followed by the lesser equal managers, and so on. 10) MANAGING BY SMILING AND WEARING NICE SUITS If you drink beer with them, lunch with them, smile to them and also wear nice suits, nothing can stop your career anymore. 11) MANAGING BY STUDYING Despite their continual attendances of all kind of studies and congresses, they still belong to category 5. The longer they learn, the further they get from the practice. 12) MANAGING BY CREATING VAGUE OVERHEAD SHEETS Do you know them? Those sheets with some big arrows,boxes or circles? These sheets provide the ultimate proof of their overall brilliance. 13) MANAGING BY OPEN DOOR AND EMPTY ROOM This is a major improvement of the older 'OPEN DOOR' management style. Now you can really walk in and out anytime you want. Nobody ever knows where these managers are. 14) MANAGING BY SPEAKING WITH OTHER MANAGERS This kind of managing is very popular. It will give them within a few hours the same information as an employee can tell them in 15 minutes. 15) MANAGING BY HAVING A NON SUPPORTING INFRASTRUCTURE In an organization with a hopeless infrastructure, managers are really necessary. These managers will naturally prevent the organization from having a better infrastructure. 16) BUA MANAGEMENT ( BY USING ABBREVIATIONS ) This management style is ATRASACWOC. ( Adopted To Reach A Shorter And Clearer Way Of Communication ) 17) MANAGING BY USING BUZZ WORDS These managers like to bluff your head off with hip, nearly undefined, terms. 18) MANAGING BY REORGANIZATION If they think there is nothing more to organize, they reorganize. 19) MANAGING BY BELIEVING These managers must be spiritual educated, because they have no clues at all. 20) MANAGING BY FORGETTING PROMISES If you remind them to one of their promises, the priority of that promise is to low to remember.

Golfweek A man takes a week off work and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off and soon finds himself catching up with a stunning woman playing in front of him. He suggests that they play against each other for the rest of the day and she agrees. The woman proves to be very talented, and wins on the last hole. Afterwards, she accepts the man's offer of a lift home and, on the way, admits she hasn't enjoyed herself so much for a long time. "In fact," she says, "why don't you pull over so I can show you how much I appreciate it." So the man pulls over and, to his delight, the woman performs oral sex on him. They arrange to play golf again the next morning. Once again, the woman wins, and she shows her appreciation in the same way on the journey home. This goes on all week, until Friday, when the man reveals he has booked dinner at a restaurant and a night of passion in a hotel. On the way there, the woman suddenly bursts into tears. "I can't do it," she says, "You see, I'm a transvestite." The man is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, and pulls the car to a screeching halt. "You f*cking cheat!" he screams. "You've been playing off the ladies' tees all week."

oh hard belly laugh.. hahaha.. that caught me totally off guard.. too funny..

Where the heck have you been? Golfers can be creative… with scorecards and BS! Wife - "Where have you been? You said you'd be done with golf by noon!" Husband - "I'm so sorry Honey... but you probably don't want to hear the reason" Wife - "I want the truth, and I want it NOW !" Husband - "Fine. We finished in under 4 hours, quick beer in the Clubhouse, I hopped in the car, and would have been here at 12 on the Button...... On the way home, I spotted a girl half our age struggling with a flat tire.I changed it in a jiffy, and next she's offering me money. Of course I refused it - then she tells me she was headed to the bar at the Sheraton - and begs me to stop so she can buy me a beer. She's such a sweetie, I said yes. Before you know it - one beer turned to three or four, and I guess we were looking pretty good to each other. Then she tells me she has a room at the Sheraton less than 50 steps from our table.She suggested we get some privacy while pulling me by the hand. Now I'm in her room....clothes are flying...... the talking stopped.... and we proceeded to have sex in every way imaginable. It must have gone on for hours, because before I know it the clock says 5:30. ...... I jumped up, threw my clothes on, ran to the car, and here I am.... There. You wanted the truth.... you got it." Wife - "Bullshit! You played 36 holes, didn't you!"

You know you are a manager when... You ask the waiter what the restaurant's core competencies are. You decide to re-org your family into a "team-based organization." You refer to dating as test marketing. You can spell "paradigm." You understand your airline's fare structure. You write executive summaries on your love letters. You think that it's actually efficient to write a ten page paper with six other people you don't know. You believe you never have any problems in your life, just "issues" and "improvement opportunities." You know every single piece of clip art in PowerPoint. You explain to your bank manager that you prefer to think of yourself as "highly leveraged" as opposed to "in debt." You can explain to somebody the difference between "re-engineering," "down-sizing," "right-sizing," and "firing people's asses." You actually believe your explanation in number 11. Your three meals a day are a morning consumption function, a noontime consumption function, and an evening consumption function. You refer to your significant other as "my co-CEO." You refer to divorce as "divestiture." Your favourite artist is the one who does the dot drawings for the Wall Street Journal. You insist that you do some more market research before you and your spouse produce another child. At your last family reunion, you wanted to have an emergency meeting about their brand equity. You use the term "value-added" without falling down laughing. You give constructive feedback to your dog.

Nowhere to go Two engineers died when the wind turbine they were working on caught fire. This might be the last picture taken of them alive. Picture was taken on October 29th, 2013 in the Netherlands A wind turbine caught fire Tuesday afternoon in Ooltgensplaat, Netherlands. Four mechanics were at work in the wind turbine, about 80 meters above ground, Tuesday afternoon. By a cause, yet unknown, a fire started in the engine room. Two mechanics managed to get themselves to safety in time, reported a police spokesperson. Rescuers found the body of a deceased mechanic next to the wind turbine on the ground. Because of the height the fire department initially had trouble extinguishing the fire in the engine room. In the evening, a special team of firefighters went up with a large crane, and found the body of the missing man. An eyewitness reported, she saw two mechanics sitting on the tip of the turbine. She saw them jump through the fire toward stairs.