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Mother Wisdom The wise old Mother Superior from County Tipperary was dying. The nuns gathered around her bed trying to make her comfortable. They gave her some warm milk to drink, but she refused it. One of the nuns took the glass back to the kitchen. Remembering a bottle of Irish whiskey received as a gift the previous Christmas, she opened it and poured a generous amount into the warm milk. Back at Mother Superior's bed, she held the glass to her lips. Mother Superior drank a little, then a little more. Before they knew it, she had drunk the whole glass down to the last drop. "Mother", the nuns pleaded, "Please give us some wisdom before you die". She raised herself up in bed with a sincere look on her face and said: "Don't ever sell that cow".

As You Grow Older Death is the number 1 killer in the world. Life is sexually transmitted. Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die. Men have 2 motivations: hunger and hanky punky, and they can't tell them apart. If you see a gleam in his eyes, make him a sandwich. Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day. Teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks, months, maybe years. Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital, dying of nothing. All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal. Life is like a jar of jalapeno peppers. What you do today may be a burning issue tomorrow. Don't ignore this message. This is your only warning. A friend sent this to me -- he must have mistakenly assumed I was ageing!

Puzzle: River Crossing A farmer wants to cross a river and take with him a wolf, a goat, and a cabbage. There is a boat that can fit himself plus either the wolf, the goat, or the cabbage. If the wolf and the goat are alone on one shore, the wolf will eat the goat. If the goat and the cabbage are alone on the shore, the goat will eat the cabbage. How can the farmer bring the wolf, the goat, and the cabbage across the river? Answer: Did you solve the puzzle? Was it easy? Tell us in the section below!

I hope I got the Tag thing correct and am in the right forum. Trying to find Memnoch the Devil by Anne Rice. Searched first without success. Thanks in advance B

Puzzle: what way is he looking? Answer:

hahaha that's funny.. poor vet just trying to get some.. lmao..

Dog Care A dog lover, whose dog was a female and "in heat," agreed to look after her neighbour's male dog while the neighbour was on vacation. She had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart. However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate. Unable to separate them, and perplexed as to what to do next, and although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice. After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs. I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw." "Do you think that will work?", she asked. "Just worked for me," he replied.

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Okay, thanx Neo!

had to add the follow up to that (just in case you don't get it)

Thanks to LINK HEAVEN, great section (I get lost in) For all those voters here is a George Carlin idea on voting. Enjoy

Wow I got 1 right