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Showing content with the highest reputation on 11/15/2018 in all areas

  1. 2 points
    lmfao.. wish she would've said press 2..
  2. 1 point
    I was a moderator for "TSBAY" back in 2008, which has been shut down years ago (By you know who), so I am familiar with this type of forum. I just stumbled upon this website, decided to sign-up.
  3. 1 point
    There Is A God A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car, and found that she had locked her keys inside. She found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP. Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up. A bearded man, who was wearing an old biker skull rag, got off his cycle and asked if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said "Sure" He walked over to the car and in less than a minute the car was open. She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday, I was in prison for car theft." The woman hugged the man again sobbing, look up said: “Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"
  4. 1 point
    Peppermint I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull, I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow, and was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the vet come and have a look at him, he said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows, and within two days had satisfied all my cows. He even broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbour’s cows, he's like a machine. I don't know what was in the pills the vet gave him but they kind of taste like peppermint.
  5. 1 point
    Porn Star A porn star goes into an employment agency looking for a job. He tells the secretary he wants a new line of work. The agency gives him an interview and then find a job for him as a petrol pump attendant. A week later the woman at the agency phones the gas station to see how he's getting on. "He's was great", says the man at the gas station. "He was hardworking and popular with ladies. But we have to let him go because he's got a problem." "What's that?", says the lady at the employment agency. "Well, he puts the petrol pump in the tank and starts filling it up, but when it's almost full he would pull the pump out and sprays the petrol all over the windscreen."
  6. 1 point
    A Women’s Poem He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake He said my biscuits were too hard Not like his mother used to make I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue Then I turned around and smacked him one Just like his mother used to do.
  7. 1 point
    Today I was beaten up by a Woman...! I was in the elevator when that busty lady got in. I was staring at her boobs, when she said, would you please press 1. So, I did. I don't remember much afterwards....
  8. 1 point
    Cheating Mathematics Cheating husband decided to write this letter to his wife. My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you and I value you as a good wife, I will be spending the evening with my 18 years old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset, I shall be back before midnight". When the man came home late that night, he found a reply of his letter on the dining room table: My Dear Husband, I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile and like your secretary, he is 18 years old. You being a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference; 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  9. 1 point
  10. 1 point
    Oops... not for human consumption...
  11. 1 point
    I can picture that one... Very funny...
  12. 1 point
    Added Video to my posts and Dang I'm old
  13. 1 point
    My Daughter = Foolish by Ashanti My Brother = Black and White by Three Dog Night My Sister = Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry
  14. 1 point
    oh burn.. wife owns.. lmfao..
  15. 1 point
    Night Events You appeared from nowhere and shamelessly, without any reservations, you laid on my naked body. You sensed my indifference, so you applied your hungry mouth to me without any guilt or humiliation, and you drove me near crazy while you drained me. Finally, I drifted off to sleep. Today when I awoke, you were gone, I searched for you but to no avail, only the sheets bore witness to last night's events. My body still bears faint marks of your enthusiastic ravishing, making it all the more difficult to forget you. Tonight, I will remain awake, waiting for you……… ………F***ing mosquitoes!
  16. 1 point
    Senior dating ads These are actual ads seen in ''The Villages'' Florida newspaper. Who says seniors don't have a sense of humour? ---------------------------------------------------- FOXY LADY: Sexy, fashion-conscious blue-haired beauty, 80's, slim, 5'4' (used to be 5'6'), Searching for sharp-looking, sharp-dressing companion. Matching white shoes and belt a plus. ---------------------------------------------------- LONG-TERM COMMITMENT: Recent widow who has just buried fourth husband, Looking for someone to round out a six-unit plot. Dizziness, Fainting, shortness of breath not a problem. ---------------------------------------------------- SERENITY NOW: I am into solitude, long walks, sunrises, the ocean, yoga and Meditation. If you are the silent type, let's get together, Take our hearing aids out and enjoy quiet times. ---------------------------------------------------- WINNING SMILE: Active grandmother with original teeth seeking a dedicated flossier To share rare steaks, corn on the cob and caramel candy. ---------------------------------------------------- BEATLES OR STONES? I still like to rock, still like to cruise in my Camaro on Saturday nights and still like to play the guitar. If you were a groovy chick, or are now a groovy hen, let's get together and listen to my eight-track tapes. ---------------------------------------------------- MEMORIES: I can usually remember Monday through Thursday. If you can remember Friday, Saturday and Sunday, let's put our two heads Together. ---------------------------------------------------- MINT CONDITION: Male, 1932 model, high mileage, good condition, some hair, Many new parts including hip, knee, cornea, valves. Isn't in running condition, but walks well.
  17. 1 point
    i hope to be this guy when im 90 yrs old.. hahaha..
  18. 1 point
  19. 1 point
    Church Newsletters The Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals. -------------------------- Scouts are saving aluminium cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. .................................... The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.' The sermon tonight: 'The Searching for Jesus.' -------------------------- Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Bring your husbands. -------------------------- Don't let worry kill you off - let the Church help. -------------------------- Miss Charlene Mason sang 'I will not pass this way again,' giving obvious pleasure to the congregation. -------------------------- For those of you who have children and don't know it, we have a nursery downstairs.. -------------------------- Next Thursday there will be try-outs for the choir. They need all the help they can get. -------------- Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. ------------------------ A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. -------------------------- At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be 'What Is Hell?' Come early and listen to our choir practice. ------------------- Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. -------------------------- Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.. -------------------------- The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. -------------------------- Pot-luck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. ------------------------- The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. -------------------------- This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymn singing in the park across from the Church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. -------------------------- The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the Congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. -------------------------- Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door. -------------------------- The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the Church basement Friday at 7 PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. -------------------------- Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use the large double door at the side entrance. ------------------------ The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new campaign slogan last Sunday: 'I Upped My Pledge - Up Yours.' -------------------------
  20. 1 point
    couldn't agree more my friend.. scary times were forced to live in..
  21. 0 points
    DO YOU EAT CHOCOLATE? We were raised on chocolate as kids and even into adulthood but I will never eat it again!! I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any. It appears nothing is safe to eat anymore. This is what happens when you eat chocolate! THIS IS A MEDICAL WARNING! It could happen to you, your family, and friends! CHOCOLATE can cause SMALL FEET!
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