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Jehova's Witness I'm on the couch, watching TV when the doorbell rings. There a Jehovah's Witness at the door. "Come in and please sit down" I tell him. Would you like some coffee? " "Yes please" said the man, I went into the kitchen, made the coffee, and give the men this cup. Then I said "please tell me what you have to say," The Jehovah witness replies: "I have no idea, I've never got this far ...."

I also have to say Yep - God is Awesome and sent a Pro

OMG = Smoke = Boom

Yep - a Pro...

I can picture that one... Very funny...

I was a moderator for "TSBAY" back in 2008, which has been shut down years ago (By you know who), so I am familiar with this type of forum. I just stumbled upon this website, decided to sign-up.

how old r u tech?? my son's is - Nelly - Hot In Here

hahaha.. nice joke UK..

There Is A God A woman received a call that her daughter was sick. She stopped by the pharmacy to get medication, got back to her car, and found that she had locked her keys inside. She found an old rusty coat hanger left on the ground. She looked at it and said "I don't know how to use this." She bowed her head and asked God to send her HELP. Within 5 minutes a beat-up old motorcycle pulled up. A bearded man, who was wearing an old biker skull rag, got off his cycle and asked if he could help. She said: "Yes, my daughter is sick. I’ve locked my keys in my car. I must get home. Please, can you use this hanger to unlock my car?" He said "Sure" He walked over to the car and in less than a minute the car was open. She hugged the man and through tears said, "Thank You SO Much! You are a very nice man." The man replied, "Lady, I am NOT a nice man. I just got out of PRISON yesterday, I was in prison for car theft." The woman hugged the man again sobbing, look up said: “Oh, thank you God! You even sent me a Professional!"

Peppermint I recently spent $6,500 on a young registered Black Angus bull, I put him out with the herd but he just ate grass and wouldn't even look at a cow, and was beginning to think I had paid more for that bull than he was worth. Anyhow, I had the vet come and have a look at him, he said the bull was very healthy, but possibly just a little young, so he gave me some pills to feed him once per day. The bull started to service the cows, and within two days had satisfied all my cows. He even broke through the fence and bred with all my neighbour’s cows, he's like a machine. I don't know what was in the pills the vet gave him but they kind of taste like peppermint.

Porn Star A porn star goes into an employment agency looking for a job. He tells the secretary he wants a new line of work. The agency gives him an interview and then find a job for him as a petrol pump attendant. A week later the woman at the agency phones the gas station to see how he's getting on. "He's was great", says the man at the gas station. "He was hardworking and popular with ladies. But we have to let him go because he's got a problem." "What's that?", says the lady at the employment agency. "Well, he puts the petrol pump in the tank and starts filling it up, but when it's almost full he would pull the pump out and sprays the petrol all over the windscreen."

hahaha.. given those poor cars facials.. lmfao..

jesus UK.. that's burned a horrible mental image in my head..

Yep I agree

A whole lotta truth there...

I agree - Press 2...

Boy Toys huh... Works I guess...

Oops... not for human consumption...

Added Video to my posts and Dang I'm old

My Daughter = Foolish by Ashanti My Brother = Black and White by Three Dog Night My Sister = Play That Funky Music by Wild Cherry

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When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. - Lao Tzu

SMS A man received the following text from his neighbour: "I am so sorry Bob. I've been riddled with guilt and I must confess. I have been using your wife, day, and night when you're not around. In fact, more than you. I do not get any at home, but that's no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won't happen again." The man, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn auto correct! I meant "wifi", not "wife"

A Women’s Poem He didn't like the casserole And he didn't like my cake He said my biscuits were too hard Not like his mother used to make I didn't perk the coffee right He didn't like the stew I didn't mend his socks The way his mother used to do I pondered for an answer I was looking for a clue Then I turned around and smacked him one Just like his mother used to do.

DO YOU EAT CHOCOLATE? We were raised on chocolate as kids and even into adulthood but I will never eat it again!! I hope from now on you will throw yours away whenever you are given any. It appears nothing is safe to eat anymore. This is what happens when you eat chocolate! THIS IS A MEDICAL WARNING! It could happen to you, your family, and friends! CHOCOLATE can cause SMALL FEET!