Leaderboard

The Importance of a Space... A secretary got an expensive brand-named pen as a gift from her boss as a Christmas present. She sent him a 'Thank you note' by e-mail. The boss's wife read the e-mail and filed for divorce. The e-mail said: "Your penis wonderful and I enjoyed using it last night. It has an extraordinary smooth flow and a firm stroke. I loved its perfect size and grip. Felt like I was in heaven when using it. Thanks a lot." Moral: A "space" is an essential part of English grammar.

Scotch With Water A lady goes to the bar on a cruise ship and orders a Scotch with two drops of water. As the bartender gives her the drink she says “I’m on this cruise to celebrate my 80th birthday and it's today." The bartender says, “Well, since it's your birthday, I'll buy you a drink. In fact, this one is on me." As the woman finishes her drink, the woman to her right says, “I would like to buy you a drink, too." The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want a Scotch with two drops of water.'' "Coming up" says the bartender. As she finishes that drink, the man to her left says “I would like to buy you one, too." The old woman says, 'Thank you. Bartender, I want another Scotch with two drops of water.'' "Coming right up" the bartender says. As he gives her the drink, he says, 'Ma'am, I'm dying of curiosity. Why the Scotch with only two drops of water?' The old woman replies, 'Sonny, when you're my age, you've learned how to hold your liquor. Holding your water, well... that's another issue.'