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My Hearing A Southern Baptist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar." With that, Old Tyrone got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Tyrone, what do you want me to pray about for you?" Old Tyrone replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one finger of one hand in Old Tyrone's ear, placed his other hand on top of Tyrone's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. And the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm. After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Tyrone, how is your hearing now?" Old Tyrone answered, "I don't know, man. It isn’t 'til next week."

The War Is Over An elderly Italian man who lived on the outskirts of Rimini, Italy, went to the local church for confession. When the priest slid open the panel in the confessional, the man said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful Jewish woman from our neighbourhood knocked urgently on my door and asked me to hide her from the Nazis. So I hid her in my attic." The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, and you have no need to confess that." "There is more to tell, Father... she started to repay me with sexual favours. This happened several times a week, and sometimes twice on Sundays." The priest said, "That was a long time ago and by doing what you did, that placed the two of you in great danger, but two people under those circumstances can easily succumb to the weakness of the flesh. However, if you are truly sorry for your actions, you are indeed forgiven." "Thank you, Father. That's a great load off my mind. I do have one more question." "And what is that?" asked the priest. "Should I tell her the war is over?''

sorry for this.. i am comment regarding to post.. but after comment post i feel that my comment is not proper.. then i am try to delete my no luck to me.. then i am removed my comment and only show few dot..

hahaha.. that's flippin hilarious.. omg.. poor guy just didn't wanna go to jail.. good one UK..