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Blind cashier at Cabalas Shop A woman goes into Cabela's to buy a rod and reel for her grandson's birthday. She doesn't know which one to get, so she just grabs one and goes over to the counter. The clerk was standing behind the counter wearing dark shades. She says to him, "Excuse me, sir. Can you tell me anything about this rod and reel?" He says, ?"Ma'am, I'm completely blind; but if you'll drop it on the counter, I can tell you everything from the sound it makes." She doesn't believe him but drops it on the counter anyway...... He says, "That's a six-foot Shakespeare graphite rod with a Zebco 404 reel and 10-LB. Test line. It's a good all-around combination, and it's on sale this week for only $30.00." She says, "It's amazing that you can tell all that just by the sound of it dropping on the counter. I'll take it!" As she opens her purse, her credit card drops on the floor. "Oh, that sounds like a Master Card," he says. She bends down to pick it up and accidentally farts. At first she is really embarrassed, but then realizes......there is no way the blind clerk could tell it was her who tooted. Being blind, he wouldn't know that she was the only person around? The man rings up the sale and says, "That'll be $34.50 please." The woman is totally confused by this and asks, "Didn't you tell me the rod and reel were on sale for $30.00? How did you get $34.50?" He replies, "Yes, ma'am. The rod and reel are only $30.00, but the Duck Call is $4.50.

You know you're an ENGINEER when..... The only jokes you receive are through e-mail At Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string Buying flowers for your girlfriend or spending the money to upgrade your RAM is a moral dilemma Everyone else on the Alaskan cruise is on deck peering at the scenery, and you are still on a personal tour of the engine room In college you thought Spring Break was a metal fatigue failure The salespeople at consumer electronics retail can't answer any of your questions You are always late to meetings You are at an air show and know how fast the skydivers are falling You bought your wife a new robotic vacuum cleaner and mop for her birthday You can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie You can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting You can't write unless the paper has both horizontal and vertical lines. You comment to your wife that her straight hair is nice and parallel. You forgot to get a haircut ... for 6 months. You go on the rides at Disneyland and sit backwards in the chairs to see how they do the special effects. You have ever saved the power cord and screws from a broken appliance. You have more friends on the Internet than in real life. You have never bought any new underwear or socks for yourself since you got married. You have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts. You know what http:// actually stands for. You look forward to Christmas only to put together the kids' toys. You own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts. You see a good design and still have to change it. You spent more on your calculator than on your wedding ring. You still own a slide rule and you know how to work it. You think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep. You wear black socks with white tennis shoes (or vice versa). You're in the back seat of your car, she's looking wistfully at the moon, and you're trying to locate a geosynchronous satellite. Your laptop computer costs more than your car. Your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work. Your smartphone is millions of times more powerful than all of NASA’s combined computing in 1969 You've already calculated how much you make per second. You've ever tried to repair a $5 radio.

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HP Expands Laptop Battery Recall Amidst Injury Reports These are the products that are currently affected: HP ProBooks (64x G2 and G3 series, 65x G2 and G3 series, 4xx G4 series) HPx360 (310 G2) HP Pavilion x360 11inch Notebook PC HP 11 Notebook PC HP ZBook (17 G3, and Studio G3) mobile workstations. The batteries were also sold as accessories or replacement batteries for the HP ZBook Studio G4 mobile workstation, HP ProBook 4xx G5 series, HP ENVY 15, HP Mobile Thin Clients (mt21, mt22, and mt31), or for any of the products listed above. While HP initially expanded its recall in January, the U.S. government shutdown prevented the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission from officially discussing it until March 12. The original recall was actually announced January 2018 by the CPSC due to "eight reports of battery packs overheating, melting, or charring, including three reports of property damage totalling $4,500 with one report of a minor injury involving a first degree burn to the hand." Therefore, 50,000 battery units were recalled. Despite that, the CPSC has recently stated that HP received "eight new reports of battery packs in the U.S. overheating, melting, or charring, including one report of minor injury and two reports of property damage totalling $1,100." As a result, the recall now brings us to "about 78,500" units. According to the CPSC, the batteries were "shipped in notebook computers and mobile workstations sold from December 2015 through April 2018 for between $300 and $4,000 and were also sold separately between December 2015 and December 2018 for between $50 and $90." If you have one of the products listed in HP's recall, you can go to this site which will guide you on how to validate your battery and provide you with the next steps to return it.