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Showing content with the highest reputation on 06/20/2019 in all areas

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    The covering up A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and occasionally, 'the lights would turn off.' Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers However, when the revellers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.' 'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?' 'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?' 'No thank you, but I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun. 'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?
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    Delivering Bad News Tom, Glenn, and Scott were working on a high-rise building project. Glenn fell off and was instantly killed. As the ambulance took the body away, Scott said, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Tom says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, Tom came back carrying a 6-pack. Scott asked, "Where did you get that, Tom?" "Glenn's wife gave it to me." "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?" Tom said, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Glenn's widow.' She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?......."
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    Magnificent Niagara I recently had a visitor from the state of Texas. For three days all I heard from him was... "In Texas we have the best this, the largest that, the fastest that, etc. etc.' It eventually became very annoying. I am from Niagara Falls and I thought I could outdo him by showing him the "Magnificent Niagara", knowing there was nothing in Texas that could compare to this "Wonder of Water and Power". While standing at the brink watching millions of gallons of water rushing over, I noticed the look of awe in his eyes. It was then I asked him, "Do you have anything like this in Texas?" He waited a moment before he answered, "No, but we have a plumber that could fix it."
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