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Showing content with the highest reputation on 07/13/2019 in all areas

  1. 1 point
  2. 1 point
    Failed Guide Dog A blind man was seen waiting at a street corner with his guide dog. After a short wait the dog started leading the blind man across the street against the red light. First a car comes screeching to a halt inches away from him, but still the dog leads on, then a bicyclist almost wipes them out and curses as he goes by. Finally, in the last lane a truck swerves and barely misses them. After they reach the far corner the blind man reaches in his pocket and pulls out a cookie and offers it to the guide dog. At this point another person who has watched the entire episode interrupts asking why he was rewarding the dog after the dog had endangered his life and almost got him run over by a car, bicycle and truck. The blind man responded: "I'm not rewarding him; I'm just trying to find out which end is his head so I can kick him in the ass."
  3. 1 point
    DEA agent come to my farm “I need to inspect your farm for illegally grown drugs”, he said. “By all means officer, just don’t go in that field over there”, I replied. The DEA officer exploded, saying “Do you know who I am?! I have the authority of the federal government with me!”, he shouted before pulling a badge out of his back pocket, “Do you see this badge?! This badge means I can do what I want and I’ll go wherever I want, have I made myself clear?!” I nodded politely, apologised, and went about my chores. A short while later, I hear loud screams, looked up and saw the DEA agent running for his life being chased by my angry rodeo bull. With each step, the bull was gaining ground and he seemed sure to be gored before he reached safety. The officer looked terrified and continued to run for his life. I threw down my tools, immediately ran to the edge of the fence and shouted at the top of my lungs: “Your badge, show him your badge!”
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