Leaderboard

Lovemaking Tips For Seniors Wear your glasses to make sure your partner is actually in the bed. Set timer for 3 minutes, in case you doze off in the middle. Set the mood with lighting... (Turn them ALL OFF!) Make sure you put 911 on your speed dial before you begin. Write partner’s name on your hand in case you can’t remember.. Use extra polygrip so your teeth don’t end up under the bed. Have Tylenol ready in case you actually complete the act… Make all the noise you want…. the neighbours are deaf, too. If it works, call everyone you know with the good news!! Don’t even think about trying it twice.

Now this is Funny..............And True (This is why it's not in the Funny Section )

BBQ Season We are about to enter the summer and BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity, as it's the only type of cooking a "real" man will do, probably because there is an element of danger involved. When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion: Routine... 1. The woman buys the food. 2. The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert. 3. The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill - beer in hand. Here comes the important part: 4. THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL. More routine... 5. The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery. 6. The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is burning. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he deals with the situation. Important again: 7. THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN. More routine.... 8. The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table. 9. After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes. And most important of all: 10. Everyone praises the MAN and thanks HIM for his cooking efforts. 11. The man asks the woman how she enjoyed "her night off." And, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there's just no pleasing some women.

Lockdown Exhaustion This lock-down is getting old and frankly I've had enough. I've discussed the matter over a cup of coffee with the kitchen sink, and we both agree that the experience is draining. I didn't mention anything to the washing machine as she puts the wrong spin on everything. Same with the fridge. He only gives cold comfort. I asked the lamp but she couldn't shed any new light on the situation. The vacuum cleaner was rather rude and told me to suck it up. The threshold was no better, it suggested I get over it. The carpet advised me to sweep my feelings under the rug. But the fan was more upbeat and thought that the crisis would soon blow over. The toilet looked a bit flushed and didn't offer an opinion. The wall didn't say a word either, just gave me a blank stare. The door knob was more forthcoming - told me to get a firm grip on the situation and move on. The front door declared I was unhinged and so the curtains told me to.... you guessed it right - pull myself together. Then the chair told me to table it, and the table remarked, I didn't have a leg to stand on. When I told the table to break a leg, the mirror said that my comments reflected poorly on my thinking. However, in the end, the iron straightened things out. She said everything will be fine. No situation is too pressing for long anyways!

I just did a search in the Ebook Section for (New York Times) and got 64 pages, Now not all were all New York Times Best Sellers, But I saw them in there Please remember if you find dead links Please Report the post

10 Environmental Excuses for being a Lazy Slob It's not that I don't pull weeds, I'm just sequestering carbon. I would take a shower but I'm saving water, and therefore energy, and therefore the world. Getting a Big Gulp is buying in bulk, and we know that buying in bulk is not only fiscally responsible, but environmentally correct. I'd go for a run but I don't want to contribute to CO2 emissions from my elevated breathing. I'm not bumming a ride off you; I'm reducing my carbon footprint. Playing video games all night means I'm using electricity during off peak hours and I'm helping to manage our energy resources. My refrigerator is a celebration in biodiversity. I'm wearing the same clothes as yesterday to help Reduce, Reuse, and Recycle. I let my trash settle before sending it to the landfill where it would be trapped in an anaerobic environment and never decay. Eating out of cardboard containers means I don't waste water and energy doing dishes.