bmo

Blees you and thanks friend...

Looking for "WaveCut Audio Editor" or a pgrm that includes cut and paste, etc. Please and thank you... Just found Goldwave on your forum - I'll try that... thank you again...

Looking forward to your uploads in the future...

Today's Groaners ! For those of you with more sensitive humor !! 1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent. 2. A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you, but don't start anything." 3.. A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ; they name him "Juan." Years later, Juan sends a picture of himself to his birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal." 3. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. 4. Did you hear about the man in France who jumped on the bridge? He was in Sein. 5. A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A beer please, and one for the road." 6. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: "Does this taste funny to you?" 7. "Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual." 8. Two cows are standing next to each other in a field. Daisy says to Dolly, "I was artificially inseminated this morning." "I don't believe you," says Dolly. "It's true, no bull!" exclaims Daisy. 9. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either. 10. Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bull before. 11. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any. 12. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down. 13. I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel. 14. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh. 15. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. The one turns to the other and says "Dam!" 16. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak and heat it too. 17. A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer." 18. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was 'a salted'. 19. Mahatma Gandhi, as you know, walked barefoot most of the time, which produced an impressive set of calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, which made him rather frail and with his odd diet, he suffered from bad breath. This made him. (Oh, man, this is so bad, it's good...) A super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis. 20. And finally, there was the person who sent twenty different puns to his friends, with the hope that at least ten of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did ! !

Perfect - thank you...

Looking for this nice program.. Your help would be much appreciated...

Pharmacist's morning... Did you ever have "one of those days" ? Upon arriving home, a husband was met at the door by his sobbing wife. Tearfully she explained, "It's the chemist. He insulted me terribly this morning on the ‘phone and I had to call multiple times before he would even answer it." Immediately, the husband drove into town to confront the chemist and demand an apology. Before he could say more than a word or two, the chemist told him, "Now, just a minute, listen to my side of it. This morning the alarm failed to go off, so I was late getting up. I went without breakfast and hurried out to the car, just to realize that I'd locked the house with both house and car keys inside and had to break a window to get my keys." "Then, driving a little too fast, I got a speeding ticket. Later, when I was about ta quarter of a mile from the store, I had a flat tyre." "When I finally got to the store a bunch of people were waiting for me to open up. I got the store opened and started waiting on these people, all the time the wretched ‘phone was ringing off the hook." He continued, "Then I had to break a roll of coins against the cash register drawer to make change, and they spilled all over the floor. I had to get down on my hands and knees to pick up the coins and the ‘phone was still ringing. When I came up, I cracked my head on the open cash drawer, which made me stagger back against a showcase with a bunch of perfume bottles on it. Half of them hit the floor and broke." "Meanwhile, the ‘phone is still ringing with no let up and I finally got back to answer it. It was your wife. She wanted to know how to use a rectal thermometer. And believe me, mister, as God is my witness, all I did was tell her."

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots. Apparently you can't go alone; you have to be in Cahoots with someone. I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there. I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport. You have to be driven there. I have made several trips there thanks to my children, friends, family and work. I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump -- and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore. I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often. I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm. Sometimes I'm in Capable. I go there more often as I'm getting older. One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get! I may have been in Continent, but I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing. They tell me it is very wet and damp there. <<>> <<>> <<>> Life is too short for negative drama and petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly! From one unstable person to another, I hope everyone is happy in your head -- we're all doing pretty well in mine! Happy travels in 2017 ! !

Prospective School Teacher... After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said: "Let me see if I've got this right. You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior, observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt messages and instill in them a love for learning. You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self-esteem and personal pride. You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play, and how to register to vote, balance a check book and apply for a job. You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and ensure that they all pass their final exams. You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their handicap and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Arabic or any other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card. You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard, a bulletin board, a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for "New Start." You want me to do all this, and then you tell me...... I CAN'T wear a necklace with a little cross, mention God, or say "Merry Christmas" because someone might take offense? " Well, you know what you can do with your job.... We all should have the same rights, whatever your religion. This should be posted in every school in all countries.

The Best Groaner I've read... Cute...

I'm glad I'm old enough not to want all the optional-gadgets.. grin...

You might be a redneck if...... 1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high diving board. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table. 11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat 12. Your grandmother has "ammo" on her Christmas list. 13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower. 14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog. 15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program. 16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold. 17. You have a rag for a gas cap. 18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does. 19. You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. 20. You can spit without opening your mouth. 21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it. 22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand. 23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side. 24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Walmart 25. Your working TV sits on top of your non-working TV. 26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table. 27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements. 28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back 29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty. 30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

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Why - Why - Why... Why do men's clothes have buttons on the right while women's clothes have buttons on the left? BECAUSE When buttons were invented, they were very expensive and worn primarily by the rich. Since most people are right-handed, it is easier to push buttons on the right through holes on the left. Because wealthy women were dressed by maids, dressmakers put the buttons on the maid's right! And that's where women's buttons have remained since. 2 ... WHY? Why do ships and aircraft use 'mayday' as their call for help? BECAUSE This comes from the French word m'aidez - meaning 'help me' - and is pronounced, approximately, 'mayday.' 3 ... WHY? Why are zero scores in tennis called 'love'? BECAUSE In France , where tennis became popular, the round zero on the scoreboard looked like an egg and was called 'l'oeuf,' which is French for 'the egg.' When tennis was introduced in the US, Americans (naturally), mispronounced it 'love.' 4 ... WHY? Why do X's at the end of a letter signify kisses? BECAUSE In the Middle Ages, when many people were unable to read or write, documents were often signed using an X. Kissing the X represented an oath to fulfill obligations specified in the document. The X and the kiss eventually became synonymous. 5 ... WHY? Why is shifting responsibility to someone else called passing the buck'? BECAUSE In card games, it was once customary to pass an item, called a buck, from player to player to indicate whose turn it was to deal. If a player did not wish to assume the responsibility of dealing, he would 'pass the buck' to the next player. 6 ... WHY? Why do people clink their glasses before drinking a toast? BECAUSE In earlier times it used to be common for someone to try to kill an enemy by offering him a poisoned drink. To prove to a guest that a drink was safe, it became customary for a guest to pour a small amount of his drink into the glass of the host. Both men would drink it simultaneously. When a guest trusted his host, he would only touch or clink the host's glass with his own. 7... WHY? Why are people in the public eye said to be 'in the limelight'? BECAUSE Invented in 1825, limelight was used in lighthouses and theatres by burning a cylinder of lime which produced a brilliant light. In the theatre, a performer 'in the limelight' was the Centre of attention. 8 ... WHY? Why is someone who is feeling great 'on cloud nine'? BECAUSE Types of clouds are numbered according to the altitudes they attain, with nine being the highest cloud. If someone is said to be on cloud nine, that person is floating well above worldly cares. 9 ... WHY? In golf, where did the term 'Caddie' come from? BECAUSE When Mary Queen of Scots went to France as a young girl, Louis, King of France, learned that she loved the Scots game 'golf.' He had the first course outside of Scotland built for her enjoyment. To make sure she was properly chaperoned (and guarded) while she played, Louis hired cadets from a military school to accompany her. Mary liked this a lot and when she returned to Scotland (not a very good idea in the long run), she took the practice with her. In French, the word cadet is pronounced 'ca-day' and the Scots changed it into caddie. 10 ... WHY? Why are many coin collection jar banks shaped like pigs? BECAUSE Long ago, dishes and cookware in Europe were made of dense orange clay called 'pygg'. When people saved coins in jars made of this clay, the jars became known as 'pygg banks.' When an English potter misunderstood the word, he made a container that resembled a pig. And it caught on. Now you know MORE Stuff...! !

BIG CHEEKS Bet you knew "Big cheeks" Big cheeks. A grandson of slaves, a boy was born in a poor neighbourhood of New Orleans known as the "Back of Town." His father abandoned the family when the child was an infant. His mother became a prostitute and the boy and his sister had to live with their grandmother. Early in life he proved to be gifted for music and with three other kids he sang in the streets of New Orleans. His first gains were coins that were thrown to them. A Jewish family, Karnofsky, who had emigrated from Lithuania to the USA, had pity for the 7-year-old boy and brought him into their home. Initially giving 'work' in the house, to feed this hungry child. There he remained and slept in this Jewish family's home where, for the first time in his life, he was treated with kindness and tenderness. When he went to bed, Mrs. Karnovsky sang him a Russian lullaby that he would sing with her. Later, he learned to sing and play several Russian and Jewish songs. Over time, this boy became the adopted son of this family. The Karnofskys gave him money to buy his first musical instrument; as was the custom in the Jewish families. They sincerely admired his musical talent. Later, when he became a professional musician and composer, he used these Jewish melodies in compositions, such as St. James Infirmary and Go Down Moses. The little black boy grew up and wrote a book about this Jewish family who had adopted him in 1907. In memory of this family and until the end of his life, he wore a Star of David and said that in this family, he had learned "how to live real life and determination." You might recognize his name. This little boy was called: Louis "Satchmo" Armstrong. Louis Armstrong proudly spoke fluent Yiddish! And "Satchmo" is Yiddish for "Big Cheeks"!!!

So-o nice of you to post this... thank you... R.I.P. Mr Berry...

Amazing Photography... thanks for sharing...

Great Picture.. thanks for sharing...

Very Pretty - Lucky trip to far away places... Good planning huh...

Good one...

Tons of fun stuff - thanks...

Very Very Entertaining... thanks...

My version (v2.3.5) quit working (phoned home??) ..? Is there a newer version available..?? Any help would be appreciated... thanks...

What a nice gift you've made me - thank you so much...

They Walk Among Us! ...and they breed. ---------------------------- Some guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a Sign on it saying: 'Free to good home. You want it, you take it.' For three days the fridge sat there without anyone looking twice. He eventually decided that people were too mistrustful of this deal. So he changed the sign to read: 'Fridge for sale $50.' The next day someone stole it! They walk amongst us! ------------------------------------- One day I was walking down the beach with Some friends when someone shouted..... 'Look at that dead bird!' Someone looked up at the sky and said...'where?' They walk among us! ---------------------------------------------------------- While looking at a house, my brother asked the Real Estate agent which direction was north because He didn't want the sun waking him up every morning. She asked, 'Does the sun rise in the north?' My brother explained that the sun rises in the east And has for sometime. She shook her head and said, 'Oh, I don't keep up with all that stuff......' They Walk Among Us! -------------------------------------------- My colleague and I were eating our lunch in our cafeteria, when we overheard an admin girl talking about the sunburn she got on her weekend drive to the beach. She drove down in a convertible, but said she 'didn't think she'd get sunburned because the car was moving'. They Walk Among Us! ------------------------------------ My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car which is designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the car trunk. They Walk Among Us!