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Everything posted by uk666

  1. uk666

    Secrets to Inner Peace

    Secrets to Inner Peace…. If you can start the day without caffeine, If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains, If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles, If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it, If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time. If you can take criticism and blame without resentment, If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without alcohol, If you can sleep without the aid of drugs, then you are probably the Family Dog! Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it, Pee on it and walk away!!
  2. uk666

    Annoy Stuff

    Annoy Stuff People who point at their wrist while asking for the time. I know where my watch is buddy, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is? People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. People who waving money to try to get served, there’s a queuing system for fairness. Everyone at the bar has money and intends to use that money to buy a drink. Holding out a tenner as evidence of this won’t get you to the front of the line. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Screw off. What good is a goddamn cake if you can't eat it? What, should I eat someone else's cake instead? When people say "It's always in the last place you look". Of course, it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? When people say, while watching a movie "Did you see that?" No, paid $25.00 to come to the theatre and stare at the frigging ceiling up there. What did you come here for? When something is "new and improved", which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. When a cop pulls you over and then asks if you know how fast you were going? You should know a*shole, you are the one who frigging pulled me over. When people say "Life is short." What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What? Are they going to do something that's longer? When people ask "Can I BORROW a piece of paper?" Sure, but please don't return the favour! It's one god damn piece of paper! People who use reply all the time, it is a great function when you’re working on a group project or delivering information to your whole family in one fell swoop. However, in most settings, there’s no reason to deliver your response to everyone on an email chain. When you are waiting for the bus and someone ask you "Did the bus come yet?" If the bus came, I would not be standing here! People who ask "Can I ask you a question?" Didn't really give me a choice there, did you buddy?
  3. Here's What 1G, 2G, 3G, 4G And 5G Actually Mean! 1. 1 G 1G, the first generation of the phone was developed around the 1990s. The connection of these phones was purely analog and the phones looked like the ones seen in the above picture. Only voice calling was possible on these phones! 2. 2G 2G, actually made the texting possible. It became a real thing to actually send texts over which was not possible before, so it was really a great step forward in the technological world! 3. 3G 3G, actually made video calling possible. However, there were some disturbances and the picture quality were also not at par. It took a while to download the data on 3G, but it is much better than the 2G technology! 4. 4G 4G, revolutionized the gaming world! The speed is too much better than the 3G phones and video calling is also possible in an uninterrupted manner! 5. 5G Is it very different to 4G? Yes, it's a brand-new radio technology, but you might not notice vastly higher speeds at first because 5G is likely to be used by network operators initially as a way to boost capacity on existing 4G (LTE - Long-Term Evolution) networks, to ensure a more consistent service for customers. The speed you get will depend on which spectrum band the operator runs the 5G technology on and how much your carrier has invested in new masts and transmitters. The fastest current 4G mobile networks offer about 45Mbps (megabits per second) on average, although the industry is still hopeful of achieving 1Gbps (gigabit per second = 1,000Mbps). Chipmaker Qualcomm reckons 5G could achieve browsing and download speeds about 10 to 20 times faster in real-world (as opposed to laboratory) conditions. 5G will provide the speed, low latency and connectivity to enable a new generation of applications, services and business opportunities that have not been seen before. There are three major categories of use case for 5G: Massive machine to machine communications – also called the Internet of Things (IoT) that involves connecting billions of devices without human intervention at a scale not seen before. This has the potential to revolutionise modern industrial processes and applications including agriculture, manufacturing and business communications. Ultra-reliable low latency communications – mission critical including real-time control of devices, industrial robotics, vehicle to vehicle communications and safety systems, autonomous driving and safer transport networks. Low latency communications also opens up a new world where remote medical care, procedures, and treatment are all possible Enhanced mobile broadband – providing significantly faster data speeds and greater capacity keeping the world connected. New applications will include fixed wireless internet access for homes, outdoor broadcast applications without the need for broadcast vans, and greater connectivity for people on the move. For communities, 5G will enable the connection of billions of devices for our smart cities, smart schools and smart homes, smart and safer vehicles, enhance health care and education, and provide a safer and more efficient place to live. For businesses and industry, 5G and IoT will provide a wealth of data allowing them to gain insights into their operations like never before. Businesses will operate and make key decisions driven by data, innovate in agriculture, smart farms and manufacturing, paving the way for cost savings, better customer experience and long term growth. New and Emerging technologies such as virtual and augmented reality will be accessible by everyone. Virtual reality provides connected experiences that were not possible before. With 5G and VR you will be able to travel to your favourite city, watch a live football match with the feeling of being at the ground, or even be able to inspect real estate and walk through a new home all from the comfort of your couch. 5G will keep us connected in tomorrow’s smart cities, smart homes and smart schools, and enable opportunities that we haven’t even thought of yet. 5G Enhanced Mobile Broadband and IoT will revolutionise agriculture and farming.
  4. What was Symbian OS? Symbian OS was the most widely-used smartphone operating system in the world until 2010, when it was overtaken by Android. Development of Symbian OS was discontinued in May 2014. Symbian OS began as an operating system called EPOC, which was developed in the 1980s by a company named Psion. In 1998, in a joint venture with telephone manufacturers Nokia, Ericsson, and Motorola, Psion became Symbian, Ltd., and EPOC became Symbian OS. In 2008, Nokia acquired Symbian, and the majority of Symbian OS's source code was released under an open source license. At the time, it was one of the largest open-source code bases ever released to the public. As of 2014, developers are no longer able to publish new Symbian applications, but existing applications are still available for download. Symbian’s origins are firmly routed in the PDA world. It sprang from an OS developed by Psion for its handheld organisers — pictured below is a precursor OS to the one that evolved into Symbian. A PDF flavour was certainly evident in some of the Symbian variants that subsequently made it to market on different hardware. Symbian’s clear run extended right through to the mid noughties, as Nokia pumped out a steady stream of candybars, flips phones and other weird/wonderful form-factors from cylinders to spherical squares, all powered by its various flavours of the OS. This was Symbian cooking on gas. The crunch time for the OS came when Apple’s iPhone arrived in 2007 to usher in the capacitive touchscreen era, putting a new more fluid touch-centric user experience at the fore and elbowing out keypads, Qwertys and fiddly menu systems that relied on wielding a stylus to navigate. The iPhone’s arrival was of course compounded by Android’s debut in 2008. Soon a whole army of touchscreen iPhones and iClones were crowding into a mobile playground that had formerly been Nokia’s and Symbian’s to rule. Unlike Symbian, these incoming platforms were starting fresh — designed for the Internet era, not the quaint pocket PDA. Android and iOS had huge advantage over the decade-old Symbian platform. Symbian was stuck in its own folder-strewn rut, desperately needing to evolve to compete in the slick new mobile world order. Add to that, Android was free for mobile makers to use vs Symbian’s licensing fee model. Symbian was being outgunned and out-priced. A crushing combination for any long-in-the-tooth technology. Symbian’s great strengths as an OS were its kernel, which supported highly complex real-time system apps, and networking stack, which unlike the competition was written for mobile so was built for switching between radio technologies. Symbian also had platform security implemented in the kernel, making it robust in a way he argues Android is not. “It was virtually impossible to hack the system. Look at Android even today, it struggles with a load of malware, etc. This would not have happened to Symbian. But despite these native strengths at the OS level, failure to unify and evolve the user interface fast enough killed Symbian — by pushing mobile users into the arms of rivals who focused on usability first. As is often the case with prominent technologies, not changing fast enough, got the better of Symbian. Whether it was down to: leadership miss-management Complexities of its OS An outdated user interface Industry politics Or a combination of all those things is hard to say. Regardless of the specific combination of reasons, the cautionary outcome always remains the same: innovate or die.
  5. Brand New iOS Jailbreak Tool Can Unlock Any iPhone Or iPad The iPhone jailbreak community has a new tool at its disposal that will unlock any iPhone or iPad running any iOS version from iOS 11 to iOS 13.5. Called Unc0ver, the iOS jailbreak uses a 0-day vulnerability issue that could be patched soon. But it can currently offer unrestricted access to the software of iPhone 11, iPhone SE, and the latest iPad Pros. Jailbreaking or rooting refers to unlocking a phone from the manufacturer’s software protections allows users to sideload apps, and gives them more control of the device. That’s not to be confused with unlocking a phone which was purchased from a carrier and which might be locked to that operator’s network out of the box. Some iPhone users have relied on jailbreaks to run software that never made it to the App Store or to study the security of iOS, and jailbreaking has been around for almost as long as iOS. Hackers who discovered hardware or software security issues that allowed them to unlock access to the iPhone operating system have been playing a cat-and-mouse game with Apple for years. As soon as they’d find some new vulnerabilities ta attack, Apple would patch them. It’s now 2020 and jailbreaking a phone or tablet is probably not what most people want to do, or have to. But a hacker group just released the most important jailbreak software in years, a tool that can break not just old devices, but also the latest iPhone 11, 2020 iPad Pro, and iPhone SE. Even better, Pwn20wnd’s Unc0ver tool works on the newest iOS release, which came out just a few days ago. The jailbreak will not compromise battery life or other Apple services, including iMessage, Apple Pay, and iCloud. The hackers say the jailbreak preservers Apple’s user data protections and doesn’t undermine iOS’s sandbox security. “This jailbreak basically just adds exceptions to the existing rules,” Pwn20wnd, told WIRED. “It only enables reading new jailbreak files and parts of the file system that contain no user data.” Even so, you should tread carefully when attempting to use such tools on your devices, make sure you understand what jailbreaking means and what the risks are. We won’t tell you how to do it, and most people probably shouldn’t go for it in the first place.
  6. Comedy Wildlife Photography Awards 2019 Here are the finalists: The award winners will be announced on 13 November.
  7. Sweetening The Deal A used car salesman was having a little trouble selling a particular car to a young man. Finally, the salesman said, “I’ll tell you what. If you buy this car, you can have that cute blonde in my office for the rest of the afternoon.” So, the young man bought the car and took the blonde out to Lover’s Lane. As he put his arm around her, he whispered something into her ear. “Oh, no!” she replied: “You already got that when you bought this car!”
  8. You Know You're Drinking Too Much Coffee When...... Charles Manson thinks you need to calm down. Instant coffee takes too long. People get dizzy just watching you. Some farmer in Colombia names his donkey after you. Starbucks gives you your own parking spot. The only time you're standing still is during an earthquake. When someone says. "How are you?", you say, "Good to the last drop." You answer the door before people knock. You can outlast the Energizer bunny. You can play the “Minute Waltz” in 38 seconds. You can't even remember your second cup. You don't even wait for the water to boil anymore. You don't get mad, you get steamed. You don't sweat, you percolate. You don't tan, you roast. You get a speeding ticket even when you're parked. You go to AA meetings just for the free coffee. You go to sleep just so you can wake up and smell the coffee. You grind your coffee beans in your mouth. You sleep with your eyes open. You have a bumper sticker that says: "Coffee drinkers are good in the sack." You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug. You have a tattoo that says, “Born to Brew.” You watch videos in fast-forward. You haven’t yawned since 2016. You haven't blinked since the last lunar eclipse. You lick your coffeepot clean. You name your cats "Cream" and "Sugar." You ski uphill. You sleep with your eyes open. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight. You speed walk in your sleep. You think being called a "drip" is a compliment. You walk twenty miles on your treadmill before you realize it's not plugged in. You want to be cremated just so you can spend the rest of eternity in a coffee can. Your birthday is a national holiday in Brazil. Your eyes stay open when you sneeze. Your favourite coffee shop has a day in your honour. Your first-aid kit contains two pints of coffee with an I.V. hook-up. Your lover uses soft lights, romantic music, and a glass of iced coffee to get you in the mood. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale. Your nicknames for your kids are “Star” and “Buck.” Your Thermos is on wheels. Your three favourite things in life are...coffee before, coffee during and coffee after. Your T-shirt says, "Decaffeinated coffee is the devil's blend." You're offended when people use the word "brew" to mean beer. You've built a miniature city out of little plastic stirrers. You've worn out the handle on your favourite mug. You've worn the finish off your coffee table. You introduce your spouse as your coffee-mate.
  9. Employee Benefits A woman, searching for a job, inquired about the benefits. The Personnel Manager informed her they had group health and life insurance, but the costs were deducted from the employee's pay. She said, "My last employer had full health coverage, as well as five years’ salary for life insurance and a month's sick leave AND they paid the full premiums." "I can't help but asking madam why you would leave a job with such benefits," the interviewer replied. The woman shrugged her shoulders and said: "The company went bankrupt."
  10. If a child refuses to nap……Are they guilty of resisting a rest.
  11. Why did the cannibal leave the restaurant? Because he got cold feet.
  12. Man goes into a shop, do you sell helicopter crisps……Shopkeeper, sorry, we only sell plane ones.
  13. What do elves learn in school……The elf-abet.
  14. What do you call a person with a briefcase in a tree……A branch manager.
  15. A company is making glass coffins……Whether they’re successful remains to be seen.
  16. What does a sheep dog and bra have in common……They round them up and point them in the right direction.
  17. uk666

    Your Last Day Working

    Your Last Day Working You know it's your last day at work when: You noticed the co-workers measuring your office when your arrived at work. A very large paper recycling box was placed next to your file cabinets. You hand a bank teller an envelope, and when she asks, "What's this?", you realize you just dropped the company's deposit in a mailbox. The Security guard made a complete inventory of you work area. When the boss asked you if you believe in life after death, because after you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother's funeral, she stopped in to see you. A woman comes into the store, you turn to the other salesman and say, "I waited on the last fat ugly old lady. This one's your turn". Your boss is standing behind you. And it's his wife. The receptionist began saying "Who ???" to anyone calling on you. The LAN suddenly began backing-up your computer every 10 minutes. While your boss is at lunch, you sneak in and look at some confidential information on his computer. You spill coffee on the keyboard. It shorts out. Your assistant began responding to your memos with, "Yeah, whatever." You return from a week's vacation to find that you had scheduled *this* week as vacation, not last week. You take a "sick" day. The next morning the boss asks you, "So, how was the fishing on Rock Creek yesterday?". Three people began helping you write a "desk manual" for your job. You wake up hung-over. You have a black eye and barked knuckles. You're in jail. Last night was the company Christmas party. The company new policy on sexual harassment included a photo of you.
  18. uk666


    Bull A rancher needs to buy a bull to service his cows but has to borrow the money from the bank. The banker who lent the money comes by a week later to see how his investment is doing. The farmer complains that the bull just eats grass and won’t even look at the cows. The banker suggests that a veterinarian have a look at the bull. The next week the banker returns to see if the vet helped. The farmer looks very pleased, “The bull serviced all my cows twice, then broke through the fence and serviced all my neighbour’s cows three times.” “Wow,” says the banker, “What did the vet do to that bull?” “Just gave me some pills to give him,” replied the farmer. “What kind of pills?” asked the banker. “I don’t know,” says the farmer: “but they sort of taste like chocolate.”.
  19. Roadside Juggling A state trooper pulled a car over for speeding. When the officer asked the driver why he was speeding, the driver said he was a juggler on his way to do a show and didn’t want to be late. The trooper told the driver he was fascinated by juggling and said if the driver would do a little juggling for him, then he wouldn’t give him a ticket. The juggler told the trooper he had sent his equipment ahead and didn’t have anything to juggle, so the trooper grabbed some flares from his trunk and asked if he could juggle them. The juggler said he could, so the trooper lit five flares and handed them to the juggler. While the man was juggling, another car pulled in behind the patrol car. The other car’s driver got out and watched the performance briefly, then went over to the patrol car, opened the rear door, and got in. Observing this, the trooper went over to the patrol car, opened the door, and asked what he thought he was doing. The man replied: “You might as well take my ass to jail, because there ain’t no way I’m gonna pass that sobriety test.”