Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing:

either the car or the wife is new.

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What do you give an elephant with diarrhea……Lots of room.

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A bus station is where a bus stops.

A train station is where a train stops.

So now you know why they call this a workstation.

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I've found a job helping a one armed typist do capital letters.......It's shift work

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What do you call an elephant wearing pink earmuffs and a dress……. Anything you want, it can't hear you.

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Where did medieval knights park their camels......Camelot

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My dog recently went missing. 

So I got a pet detective.......Although he doesn’t seem to like his cage very much.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the New Year's Eve party.......He had no body to go with

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What do you get if you cross a stereo with a refrigerator.....Cool music

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What do you call a penguin in the Sahara Desert.......Lost

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Why can't a bike stand up by itself.....Because it's two-tired

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What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer.....A brick-layer

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What do ghosts eat.....Spookgetti

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Americans……... chasing the American dream does not count as exercise.

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Man: I want a divorce. My wife hasn’t spoken to me in six
months.........Lawyer: Better think it over. Wives like that are hard to get!

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Which travels faster? Hot or Cold………...Hot is faster, because you can catch a cold.

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A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says......A beer please, and one for the road.

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What’s the best way to stop a runaway horse……...Bet on it.

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What do you call a missing parrot………. polygon.

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A hole has appeared in the ladies changing rooms at the sports club.........police are looking into it.

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How do you get a blonde on the roof.............tell her drinks are on the house.

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Why do cows have bells......because their horns don't work.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots.......Bunny farts

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Why was the stadium cold……... because there were a lot of fans

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Did you hear about the archaeologist who accidentally destroyed his dig site……His career is in ruins.