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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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What do you call a bull that likes taking a nap.…..A bulldozer!

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A boss announces to his staff: I’ve lost a wallet with 500 dollars, if you find it, I’m offering a 100 dollars finder’s fee.....A voice in the background says: I’m offering $300!

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Where do fish sleep……In the RiverBed.

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My husband and I had very happy twenty years……After that we met.

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What to give a man who’s got everything……A woman, she’ll tell him how everything works.

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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage……We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."

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Google request……How to disable auto-correct in wife?

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My wife asked me recently to get some pills that would make sure I’d be up to some action in the bedroom again……I brought home diet pills. Apparently very much not what she meant.

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Do I lose when the police officer says papers……I say scissors

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At a medical check-up: Do you do dangerous sports……Well, sometimes I talk back at my wife.

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Childhood is when you go to the toilet in the night and then you run back and jump in your bed, glad that the monster under the bed didn’t get you……Adulthood is when the monster lies in the bed next to you.

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If your wife and a lawyer were drowning and you had to choose……would you go to lunch or to a movie?

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My wife whispered in my ear today that she’s not wearing any underwear……Oh boy, now she’s already growing forgetful.

  • Haha 1

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Why I don’t trust joggers……Well, they are usually the ones to find the dead bodies.

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A scientific study discovered that women with extra weight……Usually live longer than men who point it out.

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I ask, why do you look so sad……He said, I wanted to drown my worries but my wife didn’t want to go in the water……

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Mon, what does the stork do once he’s delivered the baby……He lies on the couch, drinks beer, watches TV, burps and farts all day long.

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A man is incomplete until he is married……After that, he is finished.

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The most successful wives don’t just randomly select their husbands……They pick them, clean to the bone.

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How do all the oceans say hello to each other……They wave!

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Women are so funny sometimes. They think that their long silences or I won’t talk to you……attitudes are actually a punishment.

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Who doesn’t love waking up, looking at the person sleeping next to you and starting the day with a long, loving kiss……Apparently the airline had a different take on these things.

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I was wondering, why does a frisbee appear larger the closer it gets……Then it hit me.

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It is so cold outside……I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets.

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That awkward moment, one year into your marriage, when you realize the husband-wife jokes weren’t all jokes…

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