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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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 How do baby birds know how to fly......They just wing it.

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 Why did the bird sit on the fish……It was a perch after all.

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 What do you get when you cross a duck with a large reptile……A snappy quack-odile.

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Who tells the best chicken jokes……Comedi-hens.

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Why did the duck become a spy……He was good at quacking codes.

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Why was the bird arrested……He was a robin.

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Why did the rooster cross the road……To show he wasn’t a chicken.

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What do you do if your dog chews a dictionary……Take the words out of his mouth

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What goes tick-tock, bow-wow, tick-tock, bow-wow……A watch dog

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 How do you stop a dog barking in the back seat of a car……Put him in the front seat

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What is the quietest kind of a dog……A hush puppy

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I had a ploughman's lunch the other day……He wasn't very happy.

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Two blondes walk into a building......you'd think at least one of them would have seen it.

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Phone answering machine message……If you want to buy marijuana……press the hash key

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Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other......Your round......The other one says......So are you, you fat slob!

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I bought some HP sauce the other day.....It's costing me 6p a month......for the next 2 years.

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Why did the teacher send the duck to the principal’s office.....He was making wisequacks.

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Why did the blind man fall down the well……Because he couldn't see that well

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I went to a fancy-dress party dressed as a loaf of bread; the birds were all over me.

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I bought some rocket salad yesterday……it went off before I could eat it.

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I have some of those new patches to stop smoking, they are ace, you put one over each eye and you can’t find your fags!

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My girlfriend says I’m hopeless at fixing appliances……Well, she's in for a shock.

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When I was Blind drunk, I tried a Brail version but my touchscreen objected and apparently gave me a BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death), although of course I couldn't see it!

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What's the difference between ignorance and apathy……I don't know and I don't care.

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Jokes about unemployed people are not funny……They just don't work.

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