Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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How can you tell that a train just went by……It left its tracks.

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Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants……Just in case he got a hole in one!

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What did the judge say to the dentist......Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth?

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What did the painter say to the wall……I got you covered.

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Why was the sand wet……Because the sea weed!

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What do you call a blind dinosaur……Doyouthinkhesaurus.

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What did the policeman say to his tummy……Freeze, you're under a vest!

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What’s the tallest building in the world……The library, because it has the most stories.

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Have you heard the joke about the butter……I better not tell you, it might spread.

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Why did the class clown take a computer to school……Her mom told her to bring in an apple for the teacher.

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Where are cars most likely to get flat tires……At forks in the road.

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How do they serve smart hamburgers……On honour rolls.

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What is the world’s longest punctuation mark……The hundred yard dash.

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Why did the calendar write its will……Its days were numbered.

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In what school do you learn how to greet people……Hi school.

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What school do you have to drop out of to graduate from……Parachute school!

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Where does Friday come before Monday……In the dictionary.

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What is black when clean, and white when dirty……A blackboard.

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Doctor, doctor! Help, I feel like a pair of curtains……Pull yourself together then!

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Following the tragic death of the Human Cannonball at the Kent Show, a spokesman said……We'll struggle to get another man of the same calibre.

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For every complex problem there is a solution……which is simple, neat and wrong

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Just been to the gym. They've got a new machine in. Only used it for half an hour, as I started to feel sick. It's great though. It does everything……Kit Kats, Mars Bars, Snickers, Potato Crisps, the lot.

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What's the fastest vegetable……A runner bean!

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What's brown and sticky……A stick!

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Why should you be careful when it's raining cats and dogs……You might step in a poodle!