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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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Singing in the shower is fun until you get soap in your mouth……Then it becomes a soap opera.

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Why were the utensils stuck together……They were spooning.

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All generalizations are false, including this one.

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All men are idiots……I married their King.

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Wife: Do you want dinner……Husband: Sure, what are my choices……Wife: Yes and no.

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There's a fine line between me……And any fish that I'm reeling in.

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A man just knocked on my front door, asking me to sign up for the NHS Organ Donor scheme……There's a man after my own heart……I thought.
 

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You are like my asthma……You just take my breath away.

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I was going to tell a time-traveling joke……But you guys didn’t like it.

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Shouldn’t the “roof” of your mouth actually be called the ceiling.

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Stop looking for the perfect match……Use a lighter.

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I told my doctor I heard buzzing......But he said it’s just a bug going around.

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Masochist to Sadist……Whip me, beat me, call me trash……Sadist……No.

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What do they serve for breakfast at the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland……Cheerios.

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Why did the teacher turn the lights on……Because the class was so dim.

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I used to have a handle on life……But then it broke.

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A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

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Love is telling someone to go to hell……And worrying about them getting there safely.

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What kind of car does a sheep like to drive……A lamborghini.

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Some days you are the bug……Some days you are the windshield.

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Why couldn’t the pirate sit down……His booty got stolen.

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What does the ghost call his true love……My ghoul-friend.

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Some drink at the fountain of knowledge……Others just gargle.

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Who invented fractions……Was it Henry the Eighth.

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Some people are only alive today because……It is illegal to shoot them.

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