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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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When does a joke become a ‘dad’ joke……When it becomes apparent.

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Why did the bullet end up losing his job……He got fired.

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What kind of shorts do clouds wear……Thunderpants.

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What do you call lending money to a bison……A buff-a-loan.

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I entered ten puns in a contest to see which would win……No pun in ten did.

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Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef……A. He'll dessert you.

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How do you measure a snake……In inches……they don’t have feet.

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Where does a waitress with only one leg work……HOP.

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What is the snake’s favourite subject……Hiss-story.

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Where would an astronaut park his space ship……A parking meteor.

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What do you say to your single friends on Valentine's Day……Happy Independence Day.

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Why don’t aliens celebrate Christmas……Because they don’t want to give away their presence.

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What is an astronauts favourite key on the keyboard……The space bar.

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What does a house wear……Address.

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Why are toilets always so good at poker……They always get a flush

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What did the little boat say to the yacht……Can I interest you in a little row-mance.

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I told him to be himself……That was pretty mean, I guess. 

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Why does a dog wag its tail……Because there’s no one else to wag it for him.

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What do you get when you cross a karate expert with a pig……A porkchop.

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2019: work hard at school or you'll end up packing shelves for a living……2020: most secure job in the country, packing shelves.

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My cat just asked me, if I want the radio leaving on while he goes out.

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I know they say that money talk……But all mine says is ‘Goodbye.’

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What size wood was used to build the Ark……2 by 2.

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My father has schizophrenia……But he’s good people.

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The problem with kleptomaniacs……Is that they always take things literally.

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