Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

[uk666 5,298]

  Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg.......Because not one, will stop and ask for directions.

[uk666 5,298]

What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women......Exchange him.

[uk666 5,298]

 How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male......All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
 

[uk666 5,298]

A girl phoned me and said, 'Come on over. There's nobody home.' I went over. Nobody was home!

[uk666 5,298]

Alcohol is a perfect solvent.......It dissolves marriages, families, and careers.

[uk666 5,298]

My email password has been hacked........That's the third time I've had to rename the cat.

[Old Fart 19]

What do you say to a one legged hitchhiker?

 

Hop In!

[uk666 5,298]

The Mrs has just bought a pair of Meatloaf knickers. . . On the front it says "I will do anything for love" . . . on the back it says "But I Won't Do That!

[uk666 5,298]

My wife is a sex object......Every time I ask for sex......she objects.

[uk666 5,298]

What is 6.9……A really great thing ruined by a period.

[uk666 5,298]

When wearing a bikini, women only reveal 90 % of their body......men are so polite, they only look at the covered parts.

[uk666 5,298]

If I had a dollar for every girl that found me unattractive......they would eventually find me attractive.

[uk666 5,298]

As a joke I thought I'd sign up one of my mates to a gay dating website……All was going well until the site came up with "E-mail address already in use".

[uk666 5,298]

My wife is such a bad cook......in my house we pray after the meal.

[uk666 5,298]

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore.... A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.

[uk666 5,298]

I was talking to a girl in a pub the other night and I said " you remind me of my little toe "she said " is that because I'm small and cute " 

I replied " no with a bit of luck I'll end up banging you on the coffee table"

[uk666 5,298]

Remember back in the day when your TV wouldn't work, you'd bang it a few times to get it working……...Well, I just tried it with the dishwasher and now she's pregnant.

[uk666 5,298]

Moses had the first tablet that could connect to the cloud.

[uk666 5,298]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve.......It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte......And then everything crashed.

[uk666 5,298]

My mom said that if I don't get off my computer and do my homework, she'll slam my head on the keyboard.......But I think she's only jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathn

[uk666 5,298]

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken takes out a cigarette and begins to smoke. The egg, pissed off, takes one look at the chicken, rolls over and pulls the blanket over him and says, "I guess we answered that question!"

[uk666 5,298]

Last night my wife met me at the front door. She was wearing a sexy negligee......The only trouble was, she was coming home.

[uk666 5,298]

The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. It was an Apple with limited memory, just one byte. And then everything crashed.

[uk666 5,298]

Time may be a great healer but it's also a lousy beautician.

[uk666 5,298]

My girlfriend is always stealing my t-shirts and sweaters......But if I take one of her dresses, suddenly "we need to talk".