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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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The other night, my wife asked me how many women I'd slept with. I told her.......Only you........All the others kept me awake.

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The wife's back on the warpath again.......She wanted to make a sex movie last night, and all I did was suggest we should hold auditions for her part.

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After both suffering from depression for a while, me and the wife were going to commit suicide yesterday.......But strangely enough, once she killed herself, I started to feel a lot better......So I thought, "Screw it, soldier on!"

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My wife likes it when I blow air on her when she's hot, but honestly......I'm not a fan.

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My wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline; she hit the roof.

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Why does the average woman reportedly want beauty more than brains......Because the average man can see so much better than he thinks.
 

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  What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name.......You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
 

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How is Colonel Sanders like the typical male.......All he's concerned with is legs, breasts, and thighs.
 

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  Why does it take 100 million sperm to fertilize one egg......Because not one will stop and ask for directions.

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What does your life have in common with a broken pencil……They both have no point

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PMS jokes are not funny……Period

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Why are all dumb blonde jokes one-liners……So men can remember them.

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How do men exercise on the beach……By sucking in their stomachs every time, they see a bikini.

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I got this new deodorant stick. The instructions said, "Remove cap and push up bottom.".......I can barely walk with it, but when I fart, I smell really nice ...

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Despite the old saying: 'Don't take your troubles to bed'.........Many men still sleep with their wives!!
 

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What's an Australian kiss........The same thing as a French kiss, only down under

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