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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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How do celebrities stay cool……By staying close to their fans.

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What goes under your feet and over your head……A jump rope.

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What’s the best thing about Switzerland……I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus. 

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Why did the scientist take out his doorbell……He wanted to win the no-bell prize!

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A faucet and a tomato were running in a race……The lettuce was ahead, the faucet was running and the tomato was trying to catch up. 

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Why did the opera singer go sailing……Because she wanted to hit the high C’s.

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What`s black & white & red all over……An embarrased mime!

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What kind of potato chips fly......Plane ones.

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What did one tooth say to the other tooth……The dentist is taking me out tonight.

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Man was driving in his car and got a call from his wife on his cell phone. She was really frantic and yelled, Honey, I just heard on the news that there is a car going the wrong way on the highway! Be careful!......He replied......Honey, there isn’t just one, there are hundreds of them!

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How did the butcher introduce his wife……Meet Patty.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter……Sue.

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What has a head but no body……A nail.

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What did one egg say to the other egg……Stop, you crack me up!

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What do a baker and a millionaire have in common……They are both rolling in the dough!

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Why did the man take a pencil to bed……Because he wanted to draw the curtains!

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Why did the gardener plant his money……He wanted his soil to be rich!

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What did the teddy bear say when it was offered dessert……No thank you, I’m stuffed.

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What did the calculator say to the maths student……You can count on me!

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Why did the banana split……It saw the ginger snap.

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Why was the woman fired from the car assembly line……She was caught taking a brake.

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Why are kindergarten teachers so good……They can make little things count.

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When are kids most likely to go to school……When the door is open.

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What letter can you drink……T (tea)

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Why did Van Gogh become a painter……Because he didn't have an ear for music.

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