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Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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2020 is a unique leap year. It has 29 days in February, 300 days in March and 10 years in April.

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Back in the day the only time we started panic buying was when the bartender yelled "last call"......I sneezed in the bank today, it was the most attention I have received from the staff in the last 10 years.
 

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Never in my wildest of wild dreams did I ever think I would go up to a bank teller and request money with a mask on.

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OK, so if the Corona Virus isn't about beer……Why do I keep hearing about cases of it.

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To the people who bought 20 bottles of soap leaving none of the shelves for others, you do realise that to stop getting Coronavirus……You need other people washing their hands too.

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Chinese doctors have confirmed the name of the first person to contract Coronavirus……His name is Ah-Chu.

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To those who are complaining about the quarantine period and curfews, just remember that your grandparents were called to war, you are being called to sit on the couch and watch Netflix……You can do this.

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How come the liquor stores don't have empty shelves……Don't people understand that they will be quarantined with their spouses and kids?

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I'll bet a million dollars the same people that stockpiled toilet rolls……Are the same people who speed up in overtaking lanes.

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I don't know why my fishing buddy is worried about Coronavirus……He never catches anything.

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Social distancing rule: If you can smell their fart……Move further apart.

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Coronavirus doesn’t affect rats and snakes so much……So most of us are safe

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If there’s a baby boom nine months from now, what will happen in 2033……There will be a whole bunch of quaranteens.

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’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now……But you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.

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Finland just closed its borders. You know what that means……No one will be crossing the finish line.

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What do you tell yourself when you wake up late for work and realize you have a fever……Self, I so late.

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Did you hear the joke about the germ……Never mind, I don’t want to spread it around.

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Why do they call it the novel coronavirus……It’s a long story….

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Yeah, I have plans tonight……I’ll probably hit the living room around 8 or 9.

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Why didn’t the sick guy get the joke……It flu over his head.

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I ran out of toilet paper and had to start using old newspapers……Times are rough.

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You know what they’re saying about 2020……It went viral faster than anyone thought it would.

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What do you call panic-buying of sausage and cheese in Germany……The wurst-kase scenario.

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Back in my day you would cough to cover up a fart. Now, with COVID-19, you fart to cover up a cough.

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