Short Jokes Post – Keep The Jokes Short And Funny

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What do you call an ex-girlfriend with GPS capability……A crazy girl that will always find you!

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How do you know when the moon has enough to eat…..When it’s full.

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What did one boat say to the other……Are you up for a little row-mance?

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Everyone has a photographic memory……Some don't have film.

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What did the Sheriff say to the reporter about the suicide he'd just reported……Worst case he'd ever seen, the guy had shot himself 6 times.

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My girlfriend accused me of cheating……I told her she was starting to sound like my wife.

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What does Santa like to do in the garden……Hoe, hoe, hoe.

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My computer crashed at work and now all the other computers have slowed down so, they can see what's happening.

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Why should you not marry a tennis player……Because love means nothing to them.

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What do you call a bankrupt Santa……Saint Nickel-less.

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Experience is something you don't get……Until just after you need it.

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I walked out this morning and saw my Arab neighbour shaking the dust out of his hallway carpet……I shouted, what's up Abdul, can’t you get it to start.

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Where did the sheep go on vacation……The baaaahamas.

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My uncle has died and left me some property, but I am having a little trouble finding it. I've tried google maps and come up with nothing. I wonder if anybody can help……The name is "Sod Hall.

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What do you call a fat psychic……A four chin teller.

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What’s the difference between a politician and a flying pig……The letter F.

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A man went into a library and asked for a book on how to commit suicide, the librarian said……No, you won’t bring it back.

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What do Santa’s elves drive……Minivans.

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How many paranoids does it take to change a light bulb……Who wants to know?

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What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark……A bird that will talk your ear off.

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I only have diamonds, clubs and spades……Said Bob heartlessly.

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Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

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what do you call a tick on the moon……A luna-tick

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Be nice to your kids……They'll choose your nursing home.

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What did the judge say to the dentist……Do you swear to pull the tooth, the whole tooth and nothing but the tooth.