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What men’s and Women’s Personal ads - Really Means (WARNING - very crude)

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What men’s and Women’s Personal ads - Really Means (WARNING - Very Crude)

What men’s Personal ads - Really Means

40-ish: 52 and looking for 25-yr-old.

Athletic: Watches a lot of NASCAR.

Average looking: Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back.

Educated: Will patronise you all the time.

Free Spirit: Will be hitting on your sister.

Friendship first: As long as friendship involves nookie.

Fun: Good with a remote and a six pack.

Good looking: Arrogant.

Very good looking: Dumb as a board.

Honest: Pathological Liar.

Huggable: Overweight, more body hair than a bear.

Likes to cuddle: Insecure mama's boy.

Mature: Older than your father.

Open-minded: Wants to sleep with your roommate but she's not interested.

Physically fit: Does a lot of 12-ounce curls.

Poet: Wrote ex-girlfriend's # on a bathroom stall.

Sensitive: Cries at chick flicks.

Very sensitive: Gay.

Spiritual: Got laid in a cemetery once.

Stable: Arrested for stalking, but not convicted.

Thoughtful: Says "Excuse me" when he farts.

Smooth manner: Bald as a badger.

Sophisticated: Arrogant.

Hard worker: Calloused hands and filthy, broken nails.

Music lover: Wears Walkman 24/7.

6 feet tall: 5 feet 4" with shoe lifts.

Well-built: Massive.

Mature: Geriatric.

Organised: Just out of prison.

Home-loving: Too mean to go out.

Young at heart: Old git.

What Women’s Personal ads - Really Means

Seeks knight in shining armour:  Husband has run off with younger model.

Adventurous: Has slept with all your mates.

Old-fashioned: Lights out, missionary position only.

Redhead: Bad dye-job.

Enjoys pubbing and clubbing: Alcoholic.

Wild: Gets pissed easily.

Beautiful eyes: Face like a robber’s dog.

Athletic: Fat chested.

Beautiful: Pathological liar.

Contagious smile: Does a lot of prescription drugs.

Educated: Been shagged off by everybody at college.

Emotionally secure: On medication.

Feminist: Obese.

40-ish: 49.

Free spirit: Heroin addict.

Friendship first: Loose morals .

Fun: Irritating.

Gentle: Boring.

Good listener: Autistic.

Large lady: Abnormal obese.

Looking for soul mate: Stalker.

New Age: Excessive body hair.

Open-minded: Desperate.

Outgoing: loud and embarrassing.

Passionate: Sloppy drunk.

Poetic: Depressive.

Professional: Truly awful bitch.

Romantic: Frigid.

Sociable: No shyness about farting loudly at social gatherings.

Voluptuous: Very fat.

Widow: Murderer.

Headstrong:  Argumentative.

Young at heart: Old bat.

  • Haha 1

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