uk666 5,298 Report post Posted June 16, 2018 Performance Evaluations "Quotes" [allegedly] taken from actual Federal (US) employee performance evaluations... Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity I would not allow this employee to breed This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle This young lady has delusions of adequacy He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot This employee should go far, and the sooner the better Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus He certainly takes a long time to make his pointless He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier I would like to go hunting with him sometime He's been working with glue too much He would argue with a signpost He has knack for making strangers immediately He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell If you see 2 people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one A photographic memory but with the cap over the lens A prime candidate for natural deselection Donated his brain to science before he was done using it Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming Has 2 brains, one is lost, the other is out looking for it If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean One neuron short of a synapse Some drink from the fountain of knowledge, he only gargled Takes him 12 hours to watch 60 Minutes The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead Share this post Link to post Share on other sites