uk666 5,298 Report post Posted August 6, 2018 Funny Police Comments The following 14 Police Comments were taken off actual police car videos around the country: Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they’re new. They’ll stretch out after you wear them a while. Take your hands off the car, or I’ll make your birth certificate a worthless document. If you run, you’ll only go to jail tired. Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In case you didn’t know, that is the average speed of a 9 mm bullet fired from my gun. So, you don’t know how fast you were going? I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh? Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but I don’t think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor? Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I’m warning you not to do that again or I’ll give you another ticket. The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not: Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog? Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen…fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey doo. Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven. No, sir, we don’t have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas, but now we’re allowed to write as many tickets as we want. Just how big were those two beers? In God, we trust; all others we run through NCIC. I’m glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail.” You didn’t think we give pretty women tickets? You’re right, we don’t. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites