57 Signs You Are Addicted to Road Cycling

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57 Signs You Are Addicted to Road Cycling

1. As soon as you take up road cycling, wonderful things start to happen. A big part of your life starts changing for the better, but there is also this insistent urge to get back in the saddle, which keeps growing stronger over time. 
2. At some point in time, it develops into addiction without you even noticing it. How many of these signs seem familiar to you?
3. “Four cheeseburgers and four large French Fries” is for you.
4. A measurement of 44-36-40 doesn’t refer to the latest Playboy centrefold, but that new gear ratio you were considering.
5. Biker chick means black lycra, not leather, and a Marinoni, not a Harley.
6. Despite all that winter weight you put on, you will take off weight by buying titanium components
7. If you take the stairs, you reach the tenth floor faster than the people in the lift, all that without losing your breath.
8. There is no time like the present, for postponing what you ought to be doing, and go bicycling instead…
9. When chatting with your colleagues, you have nothing to talk about if neither of them has been biking today.
10. When driving your car you lean over the steering wheel, just like an aerobar.
11. When planning your next vacation, you search the Internet to calculate the vertical distance you’re going to cover there.
12. When you move to a new area the first thing you look for is a bike shop.
13. You and your significant other have and wear identical riding clothes.
14. You bike to work even on days when your colleagues curse the snowstorm that held them up in the morning.
15. You buy a people-carrier and immediately remove the rear seats to allow your bike(s) to fit.
16. You buy your crutches instead of renting.
17. You can sit in a perfect aerodynamic position even when working at a computer.
18. You can tell your other half, with a straight face that it’s too hot to mow the lawn and then bike off for a century.
19. You can’t seem to get to work by 8:30 AM, even for important meetings, but you don’t have any problems at all meeting your mates at 5:30 AM for a hundred-miler.
20. You carry your money, debit card and mobile phone in a transparent plastic bag.
21. You clean your bike(s) more often than your house.
22. You don’t drink beer because it makes your legs feel heavy.
23. You don’t need a dictionary to know the meaning of words such as derailleur, headset, cadence, fixie, bottom bracket
24. You empathize with the roadkill.
25. You experience an unreasonable envy over someone who has bar end extenders longer than yours.
26. You find your Shimano touring shoes to be more comfortable and stylish than your new trainers
27. You have more bike jerseys than low-cut tops.
28. You have more money invested in your bike clothes than in the rest of your combined wardrobe.
29. You have stopped even trying to explain to your other half why you need more than one bike…you just go buy another one and figure it will all work out in the divorce settlement.
30. You hear someone had a crash and your first question is “How’s the bike?”
31. You know your cadence, but you have no idea what your speed is.
32. You no longer require a hankie to blow your nose.
33. You put your bike in your car and the value of the total package increases by a factor of 4 (or better).
34. You refuse to buy a settee because the bike takes up that patch of wall space.
35. You regard inter-gender discussion of your genital pain/size/shape/utility as normal.
36. You see a fit, tanned, Lycra-clad young thing ride by, and the first thing you check out is his or her bicycle.
37. You see nothing wrong with discussing the connection between hydration and urine colour.
38. You smile at your evening date, and she politely points out that you seem to have bugs in your teeth.
39. You spend weeks during the summer spraying arrows on the sides of roads.
40. You take your bike along when you shop for a car – just to make sure the bike will fit inside.
41. You use wax on your chain, AND on your legs (boys)
42. You use wax on your chain, but not on your legs (girls).
43. You view crashes as an opportunity to upgrade components.
44. You wear Voodoo T-shirts all the time, including under dress shirts.
45. You wear your bike shorts swimming.
46. You wear your heart monitor to bed to make sure you stay within your target zone during any extracurricular activities.
47. You yell “Car!” when passing another car, and “Bump!” when you see a pothole – while driving your car.
48. You’re too tired for hanky-panky on a Friday night but pump out a five-hour century on Saturday.
49. Your bike has more miles on its computer then your car’s odometer.
50. Your bikes are worth more than your car.
51. Your car sits outside your garage because your garage is full of bikes and cycling gear.
52. Your current bike is older than your grown up children.
53. Your dream is to own a custom-built carbon bike.
54. Your first course when you eat out is a large banana split.
55. Your kids bring a rear derailleur to “Show & Tell”.
56. Your New Years resolution is to put more miles on your bike than your car, and you do it.
57. Your surgeon tells you need a heart valve replacement and you ask if you have a choice between Presta and Schrader.