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For a six-ingredient food product, it's taken on a life of its own. 

Spam, the square-shaped mash-up of pork, water, salt, potato starch, sugar, and sodium nitrate recently celebrated its 77th anniversary of being alternately maligned, celebrated, musicalized, or the subject of urban legend (one particularly pervasive myth insists that its name is actually an acronym for "Scientifically Processed Animal Matter"). 

And despite today's more locavore approach to food and some unkind memories from soldiers who were served Spam during WWII, Spam has entered its third quarter-century on the rise. 

More than eight billion cans have been sold since the Hormel Corporation unleashed the product in 1937; it's currently available in 44 countries throughout the world.


Uses of an Empty Spam Tin

  1. Use it as a shrine for all the animals killed and Spammed.
  2. Use it as a cup for drinking Spam Juice (Spam jelly + water).
  3. Use it as a building block for a Spam tin wall.
  4. Place it at your doorstep to scare off burglars (Spam-eaters are vicious, dangerous people).
  5. Cup it around your ear to hear the Sound of Spam.
  6. Burp into it, it burps back at you.
  7. Tie a string to it and wear it around your neck.
  8. Cut it apart for Spam tin-ware.
  9. Give it to someone as a token of deep affection.
  10. Sniff it whenever you get hungry.
  11. Give it as a gift to people who collect tins.
  12. Use it as a candy dish.
  13. Sell it as a collectable (people will buy anything these days).
  14. Use it as a Spam bank (similar to a piggy bank but better).
  15. Play a game of kick the Spam.
  16. Hang it from your rear-view mirror.
  17. Use it to store change to put towards your next can.
  18. Use it as a footstool when something is just out of reach.
  19. Beginning of a very keen Spam-man costume.
  20. A safe place to store your toe nail collection.
  21. Use it, as a topic for posting is alt.spam.
  22. Tie a string around it and hang it from a tripod, then dress up like Spamta-Claus and solicit donations for a worthy cause.
  23. Use it to play the game, Kick the Spam.
  24. Lick it, there may still be some Spam molecules clinging to the inside.
  25. Use it as a musical instrument, call is a Spong.
  26. Tie it to a dog's tail and watch him run around in circles licking at his butt and making a clattering sound, don't let the ASPCA confiscate your SPAM, though.
  27. Make it into a bell and tie it around your brother/sister's neck so you can hear them approaching.
  28. Save a pair of Spam tins and connect them with a string for the latest in hi-tech telecommunications.
  29. Gain tax-exempt status for the Church of Spamotology.
  30. Photocopy the label and mail it to all your friends.
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