uk666 5,298 Report post Posted September 17, 2018 Wittiest Sex Quotes Ever Sexual humour helps us laugh at our baser instincts. A dirty book is rarely dusty. ~ Anon. Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way around. ~ David Lodge Familiarity breeds contempt--and children. ~ Mark Twain It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins. ~ Chinese Proverb Sex at age ninety is like trying to shoot pool with a rope. ~ George Burns I'm at the age where food has taken the place of sex in my life. In fact, I've just had a mirror put over my kitchen table. ~ Rodney Dangerfield I've been around so long, I knew Doris Day before she was a virgin. ~ Groucho Marx My father told me all about the birds and the bees--the liar. I went steady with a woodpecker till I was twenty-one ~ Bob Hope I know nothing about sex, because I was always married. ~ Zsa Zsa Gabor Anticipation makes the hard-on longer. ~ Itsby Stevintary The difference between light and hard is that you can sleep with a light on. ~ Anon A promiscuous person is a person who is getting more sex than you are. ~ Victor Lownes A nymphomaniac is someone who has more sex than you do. ~ Alfred Kinsey Nymphomaniac: a woman as obsessed with sex as an average man. ~ Mignon McLaughlin A student undergoing a word-association test was asked why a snowstorm put him in mind of sex. He replied frankly: because everything does. ~ Honor Tracy Sex. In America an obsession. In other parts of the world a fact. ~ Marlene Dietrich Men are those creatures with two legs and eight hands. ~ Jayne Mansfield Chastity: The most unnatural of the sexual perversions. ~ Aldous Huxley Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time. ~ Anon Kinky is using a feather. Perverted is using the whole chicken. ~ Anon I'm all for bringing back the birch, but only between consenting adults. ~ Gore Vidal There is nothing wrong with going to bed with someone of your own sex. People should be very free with sex--they should draw the line at goats. ~ Elton John Sex on television can't hurt you, unless you fall off. ~ Anon Were kisses all the joys in bed, One woman would another wed. ~ William Shakespeare He in a few minutes ravished this fair creature, or at least would have ravished her, if she had not, by a timely compliance, prevented him. ~ Henry Fielding I once knew a woman who offered her honour, so I honoured her offer and all night long I was on her and off her. ~ Anon Nothing risqué, nothing gained. ~ Alexander Woollcott Be naughty--save Santa a trip. ~ Anon I think I could fall madly in bed with you. ~ Anon When a man talks dirty to a woman, it's sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 a minute. ~ Anon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
