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Sex Statements

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Sex Statements

  1. When I was born, I was given a choice - a big pecker or a good memory.... I don't remember what I chose.
  2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
  3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
  4. Impotence: nature's way of saying, "No hard feelings..."
  5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men - 'don't' and 'stop'......unless they are used together.
  6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth, but next to the best thing on earth.
  7. There are three stages in a man's life: Tri-Weekly, Try Weekly and Try Weakly.
  8. Virginity is not dignity, it's lack of opportunity.
  9. Having sex is like playing bridge - if you don't have a good partner, you better have a good hand.
  10. Marriage is the only war where you get to sleep with the enemy.
  11. Question: What's an Australian kiss? Answer: The same thing as a French kiss, only down under.
  12. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing. He was happy with the Hole. She was happy with the Thing.
  13. Question: What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? Answer: Life sucks, job sucks and . . . . the wife doesn't !
  14. Question: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact? Answer: Breasts don't have eyes.
  15. Despite the old saying, 'Don't take your troubles to bed', many men still sleep with their wives!
  • Haha 2

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wow.. i truly don't have a favorite.. they were all bloody hilarious.. hahaha.. :laugh2:

  • Haha 2

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