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A Tribute To Beer

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A Tribute To Beer

Beer: the great equaliser. The almighty inspiration behind so many great works of art, literature, film, and one-night stands. It's no wonder that so many prominent voices have pontificated about the good drink throughout the ages.

From Homer Simpson to Plato, here's a round-up of the best things ever said about the world's beloved beverage:

  1. Beer, if drunk in moderation, softens the temper, cheers the spirit, and promotes health. -- Thomas Jefferson
  2. I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. -- Frank Sinatra
  3. I am a firm believer in the people. If given the truth, they can be depended upon to meet any national crisis. The great point is to bring them the real facts, and beer. -- Abe Lincoln
  4. The problem with some people is that when they aren't drunk, they're sober. -- William Butler Yeats
  5. Beer, it's the best damn drink in the world. -- Jack Nicholson
  6. I am sure of this, that if everybody was to drink their bottle a day, there would be not half the disorders in the world there are now. It would be a famous good thing for us all. -- Jane Austen
  7. Today I was a hero. I rescued some beer that was trapped in a bottle. -- Anonymous 
  8. Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut. -- Ernest Hemingway
  9. A meal of bread, cheese, and beer constitutes the perfect food. -- Queen Elizabeth I
  10. You're not drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on. -- Dean Martin
  11. Drunk is feeling sophisticated when you can't say it. – Anonymous
  12. Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time. -- Catherine Zandonella
  13. Reality is an illusion that occurs due to lack of alcohol. – Anonymous
  14. Drinking provides a beautiful excuse to pursue the one activity that truly gives me pleasure, hooking up with fat hairy girls. -- Ross Levy
  15. Beauty lies in the hands of the beer holder. – Anonymous
  16. The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not. -- Mark Twain
  17. Life is a waste of time, time is a waste of life, so get wasted all the time and have the time of your life. – Anonymous
  18. He was a wise man who invented beer. -- Plato
  19. I've only been in love with a beer bottle and a mirror. -- Sid Vicious
  20. 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence. -- Stephen Wright
  21. In beer there is freedom, in wine there is health, in cognac there is power and in water there is bacteria. – Anonymous
  22. When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven Sooooo, let's all get drunk, and go to heaven. -- Brian O'Rourke
  23. Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. -- Winston Churchill
  24. Sometimes when I reflect on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. I think, 'It is better to drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver. -- Babe Ruth
  25. Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. -- Benjamin Franklin
  26. Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza. -- Dave Barry
  27. I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. -- Homer Simpson
  28. Keep your libraries, your penal institutions, your insane asylums… give me beer. You think man needs rule; he needs beer. The world does not need morals, it needs beer… The souls of men have been fed with indigestible, but the soul could make use of beer. -- Henry Miller
  29. Not to brag but I don't even need alcohol to make really bad decisions. -- Anonymous
  30. I drink to make other people interesting. -- George Jean Nathan
  31. Beer's intellectual. What a shame so many idiots drink it. -- Ray Bradbury
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