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Marriage Secrets

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Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.


We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.


I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.


I asked my wife, "Where do you want to go for our anniversary?"

"Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!"

So I suggested, "How about the kitchen?"


We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.


She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!", so I bought her an electric chair.


My wife told me the car wasn't running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me "In the lake."


My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!


She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off...


She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"

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