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Microsoft's Security Updates for Windows XP-But YOU Can't Have Them Microsoft is Still Making Security Updates for Windows XP, But You Can't Have Them Windows XP isn’t dead and buried yet. Microsoft will be creating security updates for XP for years to come, but those updates won’t be available to normal users. No, they’re just for large businesses and governments with money to burn. Most people still using Windows XP at home are happy with their PCs and don’t want to pay more money, so Microsoft isn’t offering this service to normal users. They’d probably just be upset if a request for $200 popped up. Out of Extended Support, Into Custom Support Windows XP is now out of the “extended support” phase where Microsoft creates security updates for Windows XP and distributes them to all users via Windows Update. Microsoft won’t release any more security updates to most Windows XP users. But Microsoft still offers “custom support relationships” for organizations. Organizations must contact “their account team or their local Microsoft representative for more information.” The wording here makes it clear that these support contracts aren’t for typical users or even small businesses. They’re intended for large organizations. Exorbitant Pricing More than 27% of computers on the Internet still run Windows XP. This includes critical government computers, hundreds of thousands of ATMs, and a huge amount of mission-critical computers inside slow-moving businesses. These governments and businesses may have been asleep at the switch and missed the upgrade deadline, but they’re now scrambling to secure those computers. They have money to burn, and Microsoft will happily take their money. For a fee of about $200 per PC for the first year — or maybe as low as $100 per PC if you negotiate — Microsoft will continue producing security updates for Windows XP and giving them out to you. That’s just for the first year — the per-PC price will go up in future years. Microsoft’s quotes for support have apparently ranged from $600,000 to $5 million for the first year alone: “An IT manager, who wished to remain anonymous because he was not authorized to speak on the matter, told Computerworld that Microsoft had quoted his company $1 million for the first year of custom support to cover 5,000 Windows XP machines, $2 million for the second year, and $5 million for the third.” Worse yet, these quotes apparently only include the price of critical security updates. If you want an update for an issue only considered “important”, you’ll have to contact Microsoft and pay extra. The UK government is apparently paying £5.5 million for the first year of custom support, while the Dutch government is also paying several million euros for its own deal. Profit and Punishment These high prices serve two purposes. On the one hand, they make a good amount of profit for Microsoft. It’s hard to feel too sorry for organizations who have known for years that the Windows XP end-of-support deadline was coming up. Microsoft even extended this deadline several times in the past. They have to pull the plug at some point. At least some of the money goes toward paying software engineers to produce and test updates. On the other hand, the high prices encourage organizations to move away from Windows XP as quickly as possible. Microsoft really wants organizations to upgrade so it can forget Windows XP, and punitive fees encourage that. Custom support isn’t intended for typical users. Microsoft would rather they upgrade from Windows XP by buying a new computer or a boxed copy of Windows 8. They’re not interested in charging normal computer users for security updates. Users would probably react negatively if a request for hundreds of dollars popped up on their Windows XP PCs every year. Luckily, there’s one free way for Windows XP users to get security updates — upgrade to Linux. Microsoft’s updates are pricey. Custom Support Makes Sense, But… Custom support makes a lot of sense. Microsoft wants to end support for Windows XP, but there are large organizations and governments in a panic, willing to pay almost anything for an extension. They’ve had years of warning and multiple extensions of support. They can profit from the situation, get good press for saving governments from a complete security disaster, and encourage everyone to upgrade. But this may leave a bad taste in some people’s mouths. If Microsoft is already producing security updates for Windows XP, why can’t they just release them to all Windows XP users so everyone can be as secure as possible? If you live in the UK and your government is paying millions of pounds for XP security updates, why can’t you get those updates your dollars are paying for? We’re also in uncharted waters here — never before have there been so many users of a now-unsupported operating system. What will happen when we see an Internet Explorer vulnerability that infects millions of Windows XP users? People will call for Microsoft to release the security patches they’ve already made to everyone. Will Microsoft hold firm, or will they buckle and release the occasional security update to everyone? It’ll be a no-win scenario for Microsoft — they can look bad by refusing to release a critical update or they can release it and continue keeping Windows XP on life support forever. Windows XP support is a mess. Microsoft is throwing a lifeline to governments and other large organizations who were asleep at the switch, but they’re also making good money from it. You probably don’t have millions of dollars to spend on security updates, so Microsoft isn’t offering this service to you.

Catfish noodling is when you put your hand into holes in the water to reach for the mouth of a catfish and pull it out with your arm lodged down its throat.

How to Deal With Internet Bandwidth Caps Some Internet service providers have harsh restrictions on the amount of bandwidth you can use in a month, charging you extra if you go over your bandwidth cap. Other ISPs restrict traffic at certain hours — for example, offering unlimited bandwidth only at night. These caps can be frustrating in an age of high-quality streaming videos and services that depend on plentiful bandwidth. A few simple tips can help you make the most of that limited bandwidth if you can’t find a better ISP. Track Your Bandwidth Usage Keeping an eye on your bandwidth usage is key if you have a fairly low cap and are worried about going over it. If your ISP imposes bandwidth caps on you, they should have a website you can visit to view your bandwidth usage. This is the best place to see an up-to-date count of how much bandwidth you’re using. Bear in mind that it may not update instantly, so you may have to wait a day or so to see the latest information. You can also try to track your own data usage. For example, Windows 8 has a bandwidth-usage tracking feature that can give you an idea of how much data you’ve transmitted in the last month. However, it isn’t the ideal solution — it will only track bandwidth used by a single computer, won’t exactly line up with your monthly billing period, and isn’t the number your ISP uses. If there’s a discrepancy, your ISP will trust their own number instead of yours. Save Bandwidth on Video Streaming Video streaming can use a huge amount of bandwidth, with higher quality settings using a much larger amount of bandwidth. If you want to stream videos while not losing your entire bandwidth allotment, you can generally turn down the quality settings. Sites like Netflix and YouTube automatically select an appropriate quality level for the speed of your connection, and they generally prefer to use the highest quality level possible. However, you can usually turn down the quality while watching a video, or — better yet — permanently turn down the quality level on the video site’s settings screen. For example, with Netflix you can visit the Your Account screen and click Playback settings to select a data usage level. Low uses up to 0.3 GB (or 300 MB) per hour of streaming, while High uses up to 3 GB per hour. YouTube has a similar setting. Visit the Playback section in YouTube’s settings and select the “I have a slow connection. Never play higher-quality video” option. YouTube will default to slower videos even if you have a faster connection, saving bandwidth. You’ll typically find options like this on all video-streaming sites. When you start watching a video, you’ll usually find quality options in the player too. Keep an eye on video playback if you want to reduce your bandwidth usage — you can save a huge amount of bandwidth by watching lower-quality videos. Restrict Browser Bandwidth Usage Websites are becoming ever larger, heavier, and more bandwidth-intensive. But web browsers have quite a few options to help you fight back. Enabling click-to-play plugins will save quite a bit of bandwidth. Whenever you visit a site with Flash content, your browser will automatically download the content and load it. Most of the Flash content you’ll see will likely be ads. Advertisements are one thing, but wasting precious bandwidth on large, heavy ads is another. You can enable click-to-play plugins in browsers like Chrome and Firefox. When you visit a site with Flash content, you’ll see a grayed out plugin box and you can click to download and load the content. There are also many other ways to restrict the bandwidth your browser uses, including preventing your browser from downloading any images! Tricks like this one are more useful when you’re tethering to a smartphone connection with extremely limited bandwidth, but they can help in a pinch. Bear in mind that, while images can be large, they’re not anywhere near as heavy as a streaming video or animated Flash advertisement. Schedule Downloads Some Internet service providers restrict the amount of bandwidth you can use during the day but allow you unlimited bandwidth usage overnight. The idea is that most people and businesses are using the connection during the day, but there’s excess capacity at night when people aren’t using the connection. Even ISPs that don’t limit bandwidth usage may slow down (or throttle) your connection during the day and speed it up at night. If you have a plan like this one, you can make effective use of your unlimited overnight bandwidth by scheduling downloads to take place overnight. Unfortunately, it isn’t possible to download Netflix videos for later viewing — only buffer them — so this will only help if you’re doing traditional file downloads. Try using a download manager to schedule downloads. Instead of downloading a large file in your browser, add the link to your download manager and have the download manager wait for later. Schedule the download manager to only download these files overnight using its built-in scheduling options and you can save a good chunk of bandwidth. Some programs — like the Steam gaming service — allow you to schedule downloads in their options window. For example, Steam can automatically update your installed games only between certain hours you choose. Open Steam’s settings window and select Downloads to find this option. Look for similar options in other programs. Some programs — like iTunes — don’t have any built-in way to schedule downloads. You may want to just begin large downloads before you go to bed at night if you’re using these programs. Bandwidth caps are bad in the real world. The idea of charging users based on how much bandwidth they use isn’t necessarily a terrible idea — after all, it’s only fair to pay a bit more if you’re using a bit more. But, in reality, ISPs often charge an unreasonable amount of money if you go over the cap — it’s just another profit center for them.

Fluctuations Today's word is Fluctuations! (I will never hear or see this word again without thinking of this.) I was at my bank today; there was a short line. There was just one lady in front of me, an Asian lady who was trying to exchange yen for dollars. It was obvious she was a little irritated. She asked the teller, "Why it change? Yesterday, I get two hunat dolla fo yen. Today I only get hunat eighty? Why it change?" The teller shrugged his shoulders and said, "Fluctuations." The Asian lady says, "Fluc you white people too."

Older Women & Technology Older Women & Technology Three Ladies in a Sauna THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.' THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER PURPOSELY HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID ..... WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT ..... I'M GETTING A FAX!! When you stop laughing, send this to those who will appreciate it. Got to love the old gals !!!!

What we get now that XP is done It's like this... Last week I had to buy a new car because the car company informed me that my old car would not work on the new roads, would not be able to use the new gasoline, the brake and accelerator pedals were swapped side to side, the radio will no longer pick up the old AM and FM bands or the new BM band, the new cars will drive on the other side of the road, and you turn the key off to start the car. I was also informed that the door locks will no longer work, so be careful what you leave in the car because there are thousands of thieves just waiting to take your stuff. My new car is quite hard to get used to, what with having to go through menu after menu just to see where you are going, but it is better than having my old car's windshield painted black. I hope they never do something like that to my PC, or I'll be lost

Miss Beatrice This is funny! Must read. Miss Beatrice Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea. As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water floated, of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl. "Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!" The pastor fainted.

Put The Treats In The Bowl If you haven't smiled yet today - you better now! LOL! Dog's Nose Knows..

Judge Stunned at Prisoner's Name-Edward Cocaine -Man Named COCAINE Busted for Drug Possession... of Xanax By Daily Mail UK, 29 April 2014 'My last name is Cocaine.' Those were the words that caused Florida Judge John Hurley to do a double take, followed by a fit of giggles, during a bond hearing Wednesday. Mr Edward Cocaine, 34, of Fort Lauderdale, appeared before County Judge Hurley after being arrested on a drug possession charge. What's in a name: A county judge in Florida was left speechless when Edward Cocaine, 34, pictured above in his mugshot and in a Twitter photo from five years ago, stated his last name during a bond hearing When asked to state his full legal name, the defendant dutifully responded: Edward Cocaine. 'What?' a stunned Judge Hurley exclaimed. 'You know, I'd thought I'd seen it all. With a grin on his face, Judge Hurley then asked Mr Cocaine how many times he has been asked to step out of the car during police traffic stops. 'Just about every time I get pulled over,' Cocaine replied, laughing. The 34-year-old was arrested in Pembroke Pines Tuesday - for possession of Xanax, of all things. Ironic twsit: Mr Cocaine was arrested Tuesday for allegedly being in possession of the prescription drug Xanax During his bond hearing, the man explained to the bewildered judge that his great-grandparents came to the U.S. from Greece in the 1920s and changed their last name to ‘Cocaine.’ 'I'm still trying to absorb this,' Judge Hurley said. Mr Cocaine has been released on his own recognizance. He is currently awaiting trial.

Breasts Like A Teenager This 65 year old woman is naked, jumping up and down on her bed laughing and singing. Her husband walks into the bedroom and sees her. He watches her a while then says, "You look ridiculous, what on earth are you doing?" She says, "I just got my check-up and my doctor says I have the breasts of an eighteen-year-old." She starts laughing and jumping again. He says, "Yeah, right. And what did he say about your 65 year-old ass?" She says, "Well, your name never came up."

Exercise Block Found a new workout regime we think we can stick to this time. __________________

If You See My Mum On Facebook __________________

How I Lost My Teeth How I lost my teeth > > I was in the Texas Rose last night, at the bar waiting for a beer, when a > butt-ugly, big old heifer (a girl) came up behind me, and slapped me on > the butt. > > > She said, “Hey sexy, how about giving me your number.” > > > I looked at her and said, ”Have you got a pen.” > > > She said, “I sure do." > > > I said, “ Well, you better get back into it before the farmer notices you’re > missing.” > > > My dental surgery is on Monday.

A Panicked Shopkeeper The shopkeeper was dismayed when a brand new business much like his own opened up next door and erected a huge sign which read BEST DEALS. He was horrified when another competitor opened up on his right, and announced its arrival with an even larger sign, reading LOWEST PRICES. The shopkeeper was panicked, until he got an idea. He put the biggest sign of all over his own shop-it read... Main entrance.

Shanghai: 1990 vs. 2010 Jakarta, Indonesia: 1960 vs. 2010 Dubai, United Arab Emirates: 1991 vs. 2012 Hong Kong, China: 1928 vs. 2014 Paris, France: 1900 vs. 2014 Toronto, Canada: 1930 vs. 2013 Melbourne, Australia: 1920 vs. 2011 Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia: 1992 vs. 2014 New York, United States: 1879 vs. 2013 ] Los Angeles, USA: 1970 vs. 2014 Fortaleza, Brazil: 1975 vs. 2011 Long Beach, United States: 1953 vs. 2009 ] Bangkok, Thailand: 1988 vs. 2007 Seoul, South Korea: 1961 vs. 2013 Singapore: 1996 vs. 2011 Tokyo, Japan: 1945 vs. 2011 Athens, Greece: 1860 vs. 2014 Shenzhen, China: 1982 vs. 2010

Sizzling Stars Striping Jessica Simpson Kate Upton Kristen Bell Elisha Cuthbert Lacey Chabert Melanie Iglesias Salma Hayek Kristen Bell Victoria Justice Scarlett Johansson Jennifer Love Hewitt

Australopithecus Afarensis Lived c. 3.9 - 2.9 million years ago. Australopithecus Afarensis - Lucy A reconstruction from the famous remains of a female Australopithicus Afarensis, named Lucy. Australopithecus Afarensis Homo Habilis Lived c. 2.33 - 1.44 million years ago. Homo Erectus Lived c. 1.9 million years ago until 143,000 years ago. Homo Erectus Homo Erectus Georgicus A subspecies of Homo Erectus, only found in Dmanisi, Georgia. Homo Ergaster Lived c. 1.8 - 1.3 million years ago. Homo Floresiensis Lived c. 94,000 - 13,000 years ago. ] Sahelanthropus Tchadensis Lived c. 7 million years ago. Paranthropus Boisei Lived c. 2.3 - 1.2 million years ago. Homo Rhodesiensis Lived c. 300,000 to 125,000 years ago. Homo Neanderthalensis The closest relative to modern humans, Homo Neanderthalensis, or Neanderthals, lived as recently as 24,000 years ago. Neanderthal Male Neanderthal Female Neanderthal Child

This guy was sitting in his bedroom when a police bullet unexpectedly travelled through his bedroom wall. Luckily it missed him completely. ]

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Paul McCartney’s concept sketch

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Shipping containers are sold for $2000 and these creative people have turned the simple box into awesome homes. A shopping container doesn’t have to be a closed space. Blue container? Run with it! Open up the metal boxes and let your imagination run wild. *jaw drops* The shapes are basically the same, but wow. Utilitarian… and awesome. The best part about this one is that you know they made it out of shipping containers. This open concept was taken a step further with a sliding garage door. You don’t rob this house. Ever. Modern, yet … not. This is the kind of home that keeps a person happy. Already-made pool? Yes please. Recycled materials AND it’s good for the planet. This collection of containers is just epic. These are so inspiring. ]

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