ghostxdreams2

I DON'T CARE HOW GOOD THE FOOD IS , I'M NOT GOING IN!!!

good thing i work @ home

How do you predict a TSA pat down? For the answer, scroll to the bottom. . . . . . . . \/

think goats /camels etc etc

A guest from some foreign country was bragging that in HIS country there is 79 different ways to make mad passionate love. Ray listened patiently. "That's amazing. Where I come from there's really only one." "Oh," sniffed the Romeo, "just one? And which way is that?" "Well, there's a man and there's a woman . . . " "Praise Allah!!! Number 80!!!"

Dirty Johnny's father walks into the bathroom and catches him jerking off. He says, "Son, every time you do that you kill an innocent baby." The next day his father walks into the bathroom and catches him again. Johnny says, "Bow your head, Pop. Can't you see we're having a funeral?"

After a long pubcrawl those two guys discuss wether the moon is red or green. Since they can't come to a conclusion they go searching a cop. Finally they find one and ask him: "Please, officcccer, could you tell us if the moon is red or green?" The cop looks up and asks back: "The left or the right one?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/31/mcdonalds-taco-bell-chihuahua_n_5063195.html?ncid=txtlnkusaolp00000592 McDonald's has fired back at Taco Bell after the Mexican fast food chain unveiled ads featuring guys named Ronald McDonald who just love the restaurant's new breakfast offerings. On Friday, McDonald's took to Facebook with a picture of its Ronald McDonald clown petting a chihuahua. The caption read, "Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery." For what it's worth, Taco Bell's chihuahua campaign ended in 2000, and the main dog actor, Gidget, died in 2009. (Some also found the campaign offensive.) AdWeek said the response could be interpreted as McDonald's dismissing Taco Bell as a "cute, harmless little competitor." Although the breakfast war escalated with McDonald's offering free cups of coffee, Inc.com noted, "With a 25 percent share of the fast food breakfast market, McDonald's doesn't appear to have much to worry about."

serious sam need for speed unreal tournament duke nukem ghost recon combat flight sim there are just too many to name

Coffee & Testicles: A guy goes to the post office to apply for a job. The interviewer asks him, "Are you allergic to anything?" He replies, "Yes, caffeine. I can't drink coffee." "Ok, Have you ever been in the military service?" "Yes," he says, "I was in Iraq for one tour." The interviewer says, "That will give you 5 extra points toward employment." Then he asks, "Are you disabled in any way?" The guy says, "Yes. A bomb exploded near me and I lost both my testicles." The interviewer grimaces and then says, "Okay. You've got enough points for me to hire you right now. Our normal hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. You can start tomorrow at 10:00 am, and plan on starting at10:00 am every day." The guy is puzzled and asks, "If the work hours are from 8:00 am to 4:00 PM, why don't you want me here until10:00 am?" "This is a government job", the interviewer says. "For the first two hours, we just stand around drinking coffee and scratching our balls. No point in you coming in for that."

Sorry Texans.... A Texas game warden came upon a coyote caught in a trap. He returned to his office and called the Oklahoma game warden and told him one of his coyotes was caught in a trap. "How do you know it's one of our coyotes?" asked the Oklahoma game warden. "Well," replied the Texas game warden, "He's already chewed off three of his legs and he's still trapped!"

A man walked into the clubhouse and noticed a friend sitting in a corner wearing a neck brace. He sat down and asked his mate what happened. "Well, I was playing golf and I hit my ball into the rough," replied his friend. "Then I met a chick who was looking for her ball too. Finding mine, I thought I'd give her a hand. There was a cow nearby and I noticed that every time the cow twitched its tail there was a flash of white. So I went over to it and lifted its tail and sure enough there was the ball. I called out to the chick and said, 'Lady, does this look like yours?' And the bitch hit me in the neck with her driver!"

A girl from Texas and a girl from New York were seated side by side on an airplane. The girl from Texas, being friendly and all, said: "So, where y'all from?" The New York girl said, "From a place where they know better than to use a preposition at the end of a sentence." The girl from Texas sat quietly for a few moments and then replied: "So, where y'all from, bitch?"

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and it was the school bus @ that

omg i lost it @ that is so freaking funny thanks needed this i got to say littlebit gets joke of the year great post still laughing

Only in America... Only in America...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance... Only in America...are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink... Only in America...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke... Only in America...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters... Only in America...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage... Only in America...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place... Only in America...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight... Only in America...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "Poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures"...

Two attorneys went into a diner and ordered two drinks. Then they produced sandwiches from their briefcases and started to eat. The owner became quite concerned and marched over and told them, "You can't eat your own sandwiches in here!" The attorneys looked at each other, shrugged their shoulders and then exchanged sandwiches.

There is a little rumor flying around about MR.Grumpy i don't know if it is true or not but i heard the he is having a birthday now some say that he is turning old enough to drive? some even say that he is old enough to have a drink or two i don't know like i said it,s just a rumor but which ever it is -------------

talk about low self esteem just wrong on so many levels i would bet the boyfriend is behind this one

"I bet at least 80 percent of households are going to have leg of lamb,” Armstrong predicted. After all, it’s nearly springtime; lambs are ready for slaughter and peas and carrots are in season. “A leg of lamb feeds a good-sized Catholic family, which almost everyone in Ireland [has],” he said, although it might be a smaller “rack of lamb if they weren’t listening at the pulpit when they said, ‘Have as many kids as possible.’” Armstrong estimated the remaining 20 percent might enjoy a whole Atlantic salmon, which has a long history in Ireland and is richly featured in the country’s folklore. One Celtic legend tells of a druid named Finegas, who for years waited by the banks of a river for the arrival of the "Salmon of Knowledge." When he finally traps the fish, he hands it to his pupil Fionn to cook. But Fionn accidentally burns himself on the hot fish and sucks his thumb, thus gaining the salmon’s immense knowledge for himself. If all else fails, there’s nothing wrong with a good Irish stew. But just make sure to use lamb rather than beef, and braise the stew for a few hours instead of simply bringing it to boil. "[boiled foods] aren’t really a fair representation of the food of the peasant people of Ireland," Armstrong said. "They had braised hearty dishes that matched the climate." Below, enjoy three recipes from Armstrong’s new cookbook, "My Irish Table." As Armstrong says, these “aren’t your typical diddle-idle-doodishes.” https://www.yahoo.com/food/skip-the-corned-beef-and-cook-up-an-authentic-st-79559217621.html