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ghostxdreams2

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Posts posted by ghostxdreams2

  3. Posted · Report reply

    So I go to McDonalds to get a drink when I see this fat girl bullying a mentally disabled kid. So I walk up to her.

    Me: You know that can happen to any of us, right?

    Girl: Well God gave me a mouth to speak with so I'm going to use it

    Me: Yeah? Well God gave you a mouth to eat too, but you abused that privilege, didnt ya?

    Girl: -Speechless-

    Me: Wipe that ketchup off your chin, too.

    Girl: -Wipes chin-

    Me: No, your other chin. 

    • Like 2

  6. Posted · Report reply

    ok here  is my input : the one thing i haven,t seen anyone ask is what os are you running? the reason i ask is i have a netgear cg3000d-rg router and a cannon printer all in one mg 3200.running windows 8 and another pc running windows 7 both pc,s hooked up great with the router and printer the pc,s are dell,s desktop. you also never stated what type of pc your running is it a laptop /desktop? maybe theses will help get you down the right path

    • Like 2

  7. Posted · Report reply

    This young lady, a flighty young thing, got a job cleaning the bank windows in the evening after the bank closed for business. Anyway, she was up this ladder, cleaning good and proper and as she was in the habit of wearing no knickers, every young man who would come along would stop and stare for a second or two. But this evening an old geezer came along and stayed looking.
    "What are you looking at" she said.
    "I'm looking at the moon" he said.
    "Well, if you were here last night, you would have seen a man in it" she said. 

    • Like 2

  8. Posted · Report reply

    It had taken him several months, but the executive vice president had finally persuaded his new secretary to bend over the back of his leather couch and allow him to have sex with her that way.

    "And just where have you been until this hour?" demanded his wife, when the wayward husband finally arrived home.

    "Down at the office," he replied, "working like a dog." 

    • Like 2

  9. Posted · Report reply

    A Pastor goes to the dentist for a set of false teeth.
    The first Sunday after he gets his new teeth, he talks
    for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he talks
    for only ten minutes. The following Sunday,
    he talks for 2 hours and 48 minutes.
     
    The congregation had to mob him to get him down
    from the pulpit and they asked him what happened.

    The Pastor explains the first Sunday his gums hurt
    so bad he couldn't talk for more than 8 minutes.
    The second Sunday his gums hurt too much to talk for
    more than 10 minutes. But, the third Sunday, he put 
    his wife's teeth in by mistake and he couldn't shut up.
     
    (I love it when I make you smile ... and I KNOW you are smiling!)
    • Like 4

  10. Posted · Report reply 

    https://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/13-inventive-ways-totally-screw-kids-230900480.html

    13 Inventive Ways to Totally Screw Up Your Kids

     

     

     

    (WARNING: DO NOT TRY THESE AT HOME, IF YOU WANT YOUR CHILDREN TO TAKE CARE OF YOU WHEN YOU'RE OLD) 

     

    After clicking on an article titled How to Emotionally Screw Up Your Kids, I realizing it wasn't what I expected.

    Yes, I was looking for the witty list of inventive ways parents could wield their awesome powers (not that they would). Though the piece I read was scientifically sound (who believes science anyway?) I wanted to read my version. Sadly that meant I'd have to write it.

     

    Well, I've already written lists, which I'm sure you've read, ahem, lies we tell our kids to stay sane, and the universal Momisms we trick them with so, why not?

     

    That said, here it is: 13 Guaranteed Ways to Emotionally Screw Up Your Kids (My Version)

     

    1. Start their lives on trend with a unique name. (For inspiration, think of places, feelings, sites, or items you like, and slightly misspell them). "This is my son, Alasca, my daughter, Sentimentle, my twins, Pintrest and Instigram, and my 3-year-old, Iphone 4."

     

    2. If your child tells you there's a monster under the bed, scream, "Oh, NO! He's back, he's back!" and run out of the house.

     

    3. Tell your kids that you forgot to put out the fireplace, Santa's in the hospital, and every kid around the world blames them.

     

    4. If your child steps on a bug, claim it was one of your relatives reincarnated, then start to cry, "Now, you'll never get to meet Great Grandpa."

     

    5. Act like you're on the phone with characters from their favorite shows to get them to do things. "I'm talking to Dora right now, she says your breath stinks and that you should brush them."

     

    6. When you step on a Lego (and you will), fall to the ground wincing and pretend the whole foot will need to be removed.

     

    7. Give make-believe characters random habits. "Keep your mouth closed when you sleep, the Tooth Fairy is a kleptomaniac."

     

    8. Tell the kids that the stew they're currently eating has the Easter Bunny in it.

     

    9. When you want to get a stain off, skip the whole licking the finger and rubbing the stain trick and just lick the stain directly.

     

    10. Tell your kids that shots at the doctor are no big deal, except that there's always a small chance, he/she could accidentally turn them into vampires.

     

    11. When your child is taking a bath, scream 'Shark' and flee the room.

     

    12. Tell your kids that they're safe from the Boogeyman, unless, of course, they stay up past 9 p.m.

     

    13. Send healthy oranges to school, but carve creepy jack-o-lantern faces into them, and when the kids get home, deny doing it. That's what I needed to read.

     

    (PS: These are parody parenting tips … not reference materia

    • Like 2

  15. Posted · Report reply

    Dungeons : Game Of The Year Edition

    on firedrive thxs

     pm me if you have it or find it thxs again

     

    Dungeons.Game.Of.The.Year.Edition              

                                                                            

    Date................. 28/03/2012 Game Type......................RPG   

    Size......................1 DVD5 Protection..................Serial 

    In Dungeons, our protagonist falls victim to a devious plot           

       batched by his vile, nasty and thoroughly vicious ex-girlfriend       

        and finds himself at the bottom of the underworld hierarchy and       

        the top of the dungeon pile which in this world is about as bad       

        as it can get. Our Lord must have his revenge, and make his way       

        back down the dungeon levels to his rightful place - but first        

        he must deal with his new bosses, the three despicable Dungeon       

        Lords who stand in his way. Revenge will be sweet indeed!             

                                                                              

        The Game-Of-The-Year-Edition of Dungeons is the prefect bundle        

        for anyone who may have missed this jewel of black humor. It          

        contains the fully up to date version of Dungeons as well as the      

        two DLC packs with over 37 single player maps across five             

        different game modes (including the all new Piata game mode)         

        plus an exclusive double sided poster.                                

                                                                              

        * Includes the full version of Dungeons, two DLC packs and           

          exclusive poster.                                                  

                                                                              

        * Defeat enemy Boss Monsters and become the true Dungeon Lord.        

                                                                              

        * Be EVIL! Sabotage your enemies' dungeons and swarm them with       

          your own monsters.                                                  

                                                                              

        * Craft your dungeons using nearly 300 objects ranging from           

          rusty chandeliers to blood torture racks.                           

                                                                              

        * Use any of 30 types of monsters to battle a variety of              

          increasingly challenging hero classes.  

     

    A9bh7.jpg
    TwcN.jpg
    E0dhQ.jpg
    o731U.jpg
    hRTlz.jpg
     

                               

                                              

    • Like 1

  16. Posted · Report reply

    The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.
    She says, "Father, I never wears panties under my habit."
    The priest chuckles and says, "That's not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.

     

    QJv5C.gif

    • Like 3

  17. Posted · Report reply

    Three guys were talking one morning about how drunk they were at this party they were at the night before. 1st guy: Man, I was so drunk that last night I got home and blew chunks. 2nd guy: Oh yeah? Well, I was so drunk that on the way home I was pulled over and given a DUI! 3rd guy: That's nothing. I was so drunk that on the way home I picked up a prostitute and my wife caught us in bed! 1st guy: No, no.. you guys don't understand! Chunks is my dog.

    • Like 2

  18. Posted · Report reply

    A Jewish congregation in New York honors its Rabbi for 25 years of service by sending him to Hawaii for a week, all expenses paid.

    When he walks into his hotel room, there's a beautiful girl, nude, lying on the bed. She says, "Hi, Rabbi, I'm a little something extra that the president of the board arranged for you."

    The Rabbi is incensed. He picks up the phone, calls the President of the Temple Board and says, "Greenberg, what were you thinking? Where's your respect? I am the moral leader of our community! I am very angry with you and you have not heard the end of this."

    The girl gets up and starts to get dressed. The Rabbi turns to her and says, "Where are you going? I'm not angry with you."

    • Like 1

  19. Posted · Report reply

    Farmer Petrovich is whipping and slapping his sheep when the local minister comes walking around the corner.
    The minister says, "My, Farmer Petrovich, you're certainly giving that sheep a beating. You wouldn't do that to your wife, would you?"
    The farmer says, "I would if she farted and jumped sideways every time I tried to mount her! :eek:      :w00t:  :laugh2: 

    • Like 1

  20. Posted · Report reply

    Bob, an experienced sky diver, was getting ready for a jump one day
    when he spotted another man outfitted to dive wearing dark glasses,
    carrying a white cane and holding a seeing-eye dog by a leash. Shocked
    that the blind man was also going to jump, Bob struck up a
    conversation, expressing his admiration for the man's courage. Then,
    curious, he asked, "How do you know when the ground is getting close?"

    "Easy," replied the blind man. "The leash goes slack."

    • Like 1

  22. Posted · Report reply

    ya i thought of that to right off the bat.

    so i went in threw the normal steps of resetting my password and when i got there it was giving a warning also that there had been an illegal attempt. it showed where i had logged in @ my area and where the attempt was in ca. like 2 hrs later lol  1,683 miles away

    • Like 2

  23. Posted · Report reply

    for a few weeks now Google chrome has really been pissing me off one way or another

    *it was my own fault come to find out not chrome*

    so any way i get up this morning got to my mail and low and behold i have a email saying.

     

    Hi Ghost, 

    Someone recently used your password to try to sign in to your Google Account****************** This person was using an application such as an email client or mobile device. 

    We prevented the sign-in attempt in case this was a hijacker trying to access your account. Please review the details of the sign-in attempt: 

      Friday, July 11, 2014 7:13:59 AM UTC 
    IP Address: 108.0.8.142 (pool-108-0-8-142.lsanca.fios.verizon.net) 
    Location: Temecula, CA, USA  

    If you do not recognize this sign-in attempt, someone else might be trying to access your account. You should sign in to your account and reset your password immediately. 

     

    needless to say i was happy that it was prevented but it got me to wondering how and when did this start?

    so as i,m sitting here drinking my coffee and scratching my head i started going over what have i done within the last few days/weeks that is new?

    downloaded a few movies/a few games/ a new browser ------wait a minute did i just say a new browser?

    hmmm did this new browsers hold any of my user names?

     of course it did ..... did this new browsers hold any of my passwords?

    well yes but some of them did not want to take which by not take i mean i put in my user name and password a on a few sites and had to keep repeating the process every-time i went back to those,s sites.

    now i know i,m going to get a lot of  jive from you people that run this browser that i,m going to name .

    but before i get to that let me say this i have been on the net for a very long time i was on the net when it was mainly mirc

    i know this is really showing my age here but i was using win 3.0 on dial-up and thought i was king of the world lol

    .and in all of that time as the internet grew as did my knowledge of it.

    i have a lot of programs to help prevent  this type of thing from happening

    so why and how did it happen?

    after a few hours of going threw my programs to make sure that nothing was out of place

    *which they wasn,t everything is up to date*

    i mean this person whom ever they was managed  to get one of my many passwords which all have been changed.

    so like i was saying what is new that holds passwords?

    this new browser that i downloaded from the official website?

    so i know your saying well what is it? :huh:

    http://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/new/

    i know there are going to be alot of people that is going to say nooooo it was something else. :angry:

    i,m just saying i have never ever had this happen before till now <_<

     that really sucks to because i was looking for something new but it seems to me that what i had was working i just didn,t know it  :lol:

    just thought i would share this little bit of my day with you  :D

    • Like 3

  24. Posted · Report reply

    A woman from Los  Angeles, who was a tree hugger, a liberal Democrat,

     and an anti-hunter,purchased a piece of timberland near Colville, WA.

     There was a large tree  on one of the highest points in the tract.

    She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree.

    As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her.

    In her haste to  escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her  crotch.

    In considerable  pain, she hurried to a local ER to see a doctor. She told him she was an 

    environmentalist, a democrat,

    and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the  splinters. 

    The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in 

    the  examining room and he would see if he could help her.

     She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared.

     

    The angry woman  demanded, "What took you so long?"

     He smiled and  then told her,

    "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental

     Protection  Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management

     before I could remove old-growth timber from a "recreational area" so close to a waste  

       treatment facility. 

    I'm sorry, but due to

    Obama-Care...they turned you down. 

       

        GOD  BLESS 

       AMERICA

    • Like 1
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