ghostxdreams2
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Posts posted by ghostxdreams2
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Some call it soda. Others say soft drink, fizzy drink, soda pop, or just plain-old pop. There is no right word for the sweet carbonated beverage, although it would be wrong not to know the linguistic background behind the bubbles. A much-discussed soda ban in Los Angeles schools has increased our thirst. For knowledge, that is.The “soft” in soft drinks is an adjective used in relation to a hard drink. The beverage is not soft like a pillow. Rather, it is nonalcoholic, unlike a hard drink, which is a distilled alcoholic beverage.Bathing in and imbibing natural mineral water were ancient practices. Later, Arabic chemists experimented with soft-drink concoctions that included crushed fruit, herbs, or flowers. Dandelion and burdock — a traditional British soft drink — has been around since at least the 13th century.The modern-day soft drink, however, didn’t develop until the 18th century, when scientists started synthesizing carbonated water — also known as soda water. The “soda” part of the word is derived from the sodium salts within the water. (The salts reduce the liquid’s acidity.) Another term for soda water is seltzer, named for Selters, a German village known for its hot springs.As the soft-drink industry grew in the United States, so too did the vocabulary associated with it. Soda was often sold in a part of pharmacies called “soda fountains.” And the employees who worked these fountains were called “soda jerks.” This was not meant as an insult. Soda jerks pulled — or jerked — on the machines to draw out the beverage.Of course, fizzy drinks come in all shapes and sizes — root beer, lemon-lime, orange, grape … No variety, though, is more archetypal than cola. Cola gets its name from kola, a caffeinated nut native to Africa that traditionally has been chewed to boost energy and suppress hunger pangs.
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A journalist had done a story on gender roles in Kuwait several years
before the Gulf War, and she noted then that women customarily walked
about 10 feet behind their husbands.
She returned to Kuwait recently and observed that the men now walked
several yards behind their wives.
She approached one of the women for an explanation. "This is
marvelous," said the journalist. "What enabled women here to achieve
this reversal of roles?"
Replied the Kuwaiti woman: "Land mines"-
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Jon's working at the lumberyard, pushing a tree through the
buzz saw, and accidentally shears off all ten of his fingers. He
goes to the emergency room.
The doctor says, "Yuck! Well, give me the fingers, and I'll see
what I can do."
Jon says, "I haven't got the fingers."
The doctor says, "What do you mean, you haven't got the
fingers? It's 1998. We've got microsurgery and all kinds of
incredible techniques. I could have put them back on and made
you like new. Why didn't you bring the fingers?"
Jon says, "Well, shit, Doc, I couldn't pick 'em up."-
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makes me want to run out and buy a gun
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awesome
as in that was one (awesome) post you made neo about GUARANA never knew that existed
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can you believe i got drunk one time and almost got that same tattoo
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Barry took a girl out on her first date. When they pulled off into a
secluded area around midnight, the girl said, "My mother told me to say no
to everything."
"Well," Barry said, "do you mind if I put my arm around you?"
"No," the girl replied.
"Do you mind if I put my other hand on your leg?"
"N-n-no," the girl replied.
"You know," Barry said, "We're going to have a lotta fun if you're on the
level about this."-
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After a couple of years a couple wanted to have children, but nothing worked.
So they went to a doctor, and got checked over.
The doctor took time to reassure them. "Don't worry," he said, "Just take
this sample bottle home and do the necessary, and bring it back tomorrow."
So he went home feeling better, and went back the next day with his little
bottle. It was empty.
The doctor looked at the bottle carefully, " Problems?" he said.
"Have I ever had problems, doc.!" the man replied. " I went home and
straight upstairs, and worked at it for over half an hour. Both hands. I
tell you doc, my hands got too sore to hold it! I had to get the wife
upstairs and she had a go. But even she, with all her experience, couldn't
do it. "
"So what did you do?" said the doctor.
" We had a discussion, and got the mother-in-law involved. I was sure
she'd manage it, but it was no go, even when she used her mouth. And doc,
she tried with her teeth in, and her teeth out!!"
"But nothing we tried would get the top off that bloody bottle!!!!!"-
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yahooism
a penchant for rowdyism. [Allusion to Swift’s characters in Gulliver’s travels
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A C-130 was lumbering along when a cocky F-16 flashed by.
The jet jockey decided to show off.The fighter jock told the C-130 pilot, 'watch this!'And promptly went into a barrel roll followedby a steep climb..He then finished with a sonic boom as hebrokeThe sound barrier.The F-16 pilot asked the C-130 pilot whathe thought of that?The C-130 pilot said, 'That was impressive, but watch this!'The C-130 droned along for about 5 minutes and thenthe C-130 pilot came back on and said:'What did you think of that?'Puzzled, the F-16 pilot asked, 'What the heck did you do?'The C-130 pilot chuckled.'I stood up, stretched my legs, walkedto the back,Used the toilet,then got a cup of coffee and acinnamon roll.'When you are young & foolish -speed & flash may seem a good thing!When you get older & smarter -Comfort & dull is not such a bad thing!Us older folks understand this one,It's called S.O.S.Slower, Older and Smarter.-
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The external organs of a body were fighting over who should be boss.
The brain said, "I should be boss, since I control what the person
thinks."
The hands said, "I should be boss because I do almost everything for the
person."
The legs declared, "I should be boss since I carry the body and all the
weight is on me."
So they went on, each stating their qualities and uses.
Then the Asshole spoke up, "I think I should be boss, because.."
He had not finished when everyone else started laughing at him. "You, an
asshole, be the boss? You gotta be kidding!"
The asshole was very unhappy, and he closed himself up.
The body soon suffered a terrible constipation, and the organs could not
take it anymore. "Ok, ok, you're the boss!" they gave
in. So the asshole became the boss of the body.
The moral of the story: You don't need brains to be a boss, you just need
to be an asshole.-
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A young couple are on their way to Vegas to get married. Before
getting there, the girl said to the guy that she has a confession to
make: the reason that they have not been too intimate is because she
is very flat-chested. If he wishes to cancel the wedding, it's okay
with her. The guy thought about it for a while, and said he does not
mind she is flat, and sex is not the most important thing in a
marriage.
Several miles down the road, the guy turned to the girl and said that
he also wants to make a confession; he said below his waist, it is
just like a baby. If the girl wants to cancel the marriage, its okay
with him. The girl thought about it for a while and said that she does
not mind, and she also believed there are other things far more
important than sex in a marriage.
They were happy that they are honest with each other. They went on to
Vegas and got married. On their wedding night, the girl took off her
clothes, she was flat as a washboard. Finally, the guy took off his
clothes. One glance at the guy's naked body, the girl fainted and fell
to the floor.
After she became conscious the guy asked: "I told you before we got
married, why did you still faint?"
The girl said: "You told me it was just like a baby".
The guy replied: "Yes, 8 pounds and 21 inches".-
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What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?
The Captain's log.---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and
cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing
the same thing to them at funerals.=================================================================================
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar. Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL" and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says" Excuse me, you just farted before my wife."
The drunks replies," I'm sorry I didn't know it was her turn."-
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Sorry for the double post !
I couldn't find out how to delete it.......
no worries
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A cleaning woman was applying for a new position. When asked why had she left her previous employment, she replied, "Yes, sir, they paid good wages, but it was the most ridiculous place I ever worked. Last night they played a game called Bridge and a lot of folks were there. As I was about to bring in the refreshments, I heard a man say, "Lay down and let's see what you've got." Another man said, "I've got strength but no length." Another man says to the lady, "Take your hand off my trick!"
"I pretty dropped dead just then, when the lady answered, "You jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise." Another lady was talking about protecting her honor. Another lady said, "Now it's time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine."
"Well, I just got my hat and coat and as I was leaving, I hope to die if one of them didn't say, "Well, I guess we'll go home now. This is the last rubber"-
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On a first date, a guy escorts a girl home and asks:
Guy: Can I come up for a cup of coffee?
Girl: Actually, I never invite guys over on a first date.
The guy thinks for a minute and says:
Well, what about the last date?-
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A little town had a high birth rate that had attracted the attention of
the sociologists at the state university. They wrote a grant proposal; got
a huge chunk of money; hired a few additional sociologists, anthropologist
and a family planning and birth control specialist; moved to town; rented
offices; set up their computers; got squared away; and began designing
their questionnaires and such. While the staff was busy getting ready for
their big research effort, the project director decided to go to the local
drugstore for a cup of coffee. He sat down at the counter, ordered his
coffee, and while he was drinking it, he told the druggist what his
purpose was in town, then asked him if he had any idea why the birth rate
was so high. "Sure," said the druggist. "Every morning the six o'clock
train comes through here and blows for the crossing. It wakes everybody
up, and, well, it's too late to go back to sleep, and it's too early to
get up."-
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A man goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says
"I'll bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument
that this octopus CAN'T play' The people in the bar
look around, and someone fetches out an old guitar.
The octopus has a look,picks it up, tunes the string,
and starts playing the guitar.The octopus' owner
pockets the $50 Next, a guy comes up with a trumpet.
The octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks
it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy
pockets yet another $50. The bar owner has been watching
all of this and disappears to the back. He comes back
a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm.
He puts them on the bar and says to the guy and his
octopus, ' Now, if your octopus can play THAT, I'll give
you $100. The octopus takes a long hard look at the
bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, has yet another
look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner
comes over and says 'What are you waitin for? Hurry up
and play that damn thing!
The octopus says, 'Play it? Hell if I can work out how
to get it's pajamas off, I'm gonna screw it!!-
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Which lady shops at K-Mart?Take your time....I know...It's hard to tell, isn't it?
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well i see that the rumors are not true.
it was said that tech had won the state lottery and was living it high on the hog on some island.
but i really didn't believe that.
it was also said that tech had ran off and became a NASCAR driver.
but i didn't believe that either.
he only knows how to turn right.
it was also suggested that maybe he had got abducted by aliens from outer space.
i didn't by that one either he would have made them clean up their spam.
it was also said that he had started his own motorcycle gang called the techkers .
but i didn't go for that either most people wont ride with training wheels on their motorcycles
well what ever the real reason was we are all glad to see him welcome back bud you have been missed
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nope i,m ur dad dont i look pretty?
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What do the Ms in “M&M” stand for? And who is the “tootsie” in a Tootsie Roll?
in Community Lounge
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