An Australian ventriloquist

[woolie 50]

An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand walks into a small village and

sees a local sitting on his veranda patting his dog.

 

He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi,

'G'day, mind if I talk to your dog

 

Villager: 'The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie.'

 

Ventriloquist: 'Hello dog, how's it going mate?'

 

Dog: 'Yeah, doin' all right.'

 

Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)

 

Ventriloquist: 'Is this villager your owner?' (pointing at the Villager)

 

Dog: 'Yep'

 

Ventriloquist: 'How does he treat you?'

 

Dog: 'Yeah, real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me

great food And takes me to the lake once a week to play.'

 

Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)

 

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your horse?'

 

Kiwi: 'Uh, the horse doesn't talk either...I think.'

 

Ventriloquist: 'Hey horse, how's it going?'

 

Horse: 'Cool'

 

Kiwi: (scratching his head absolutely dumbfounded)

 

Ventriloquist: 'Is this your owner?' (Pointing at the villager)

 

Horse: 'Yep'

 

Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?

 

Horse: 'Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly,

Brushes me down often and keeps me in the shed to protect me

from the Elements.'

 

Kiwi: (total look of amazement)

 

Ventriloquist: 'Mind if I talk to your sheep?'

 

Kiwi: (in a panic) 'The sheep's a f*****' liar......'