ghostxdreams2 1,488 Report post Posted November 5, 2013 November 1, 2013PLAYGIRL, INC.Dear Mrs. Smith,We wish to thank you for your letter and the polaroid pictureof your husband. We agree that his appearance in our March issue asthe Playgirl's "Man of the Month" centerfold would have been a trulyfitting way for you to honor your 75th anniversary of wedded bliss,and as a life-time memento on his birthday.We submitted the picture to our various panels of judges, asit is our routine procedure, with the following results:When rated by our panel of average American women (ages 25 to40) on a scale from 1 to 10 (10 being the highest), his body was rateda -2.To further justify our ratings, we submitted your photographto another panel of women in the age bracket of 45 to 100. We couldn'tget them to stop laughing long enough to take the time to rate him.The old American women panel, aged 70 to 100, widowed for overtwenty years, said "We'll retain our widowed status!"The Organization of Nude Portrait Painters (thinking perhapsthey could touch up the picture), said "We can't perform miracles!"We therefore regret that we will not be able to satisfy yourrequest for John on his 75th wedding anniversary. We do, however,invite you to submit other pictures for Playgirl's centerfold. Pleasebe advised that the minimum requirement is that the staple used tohold the centerfold in place in the magazine cannot completelyobliterate what we refer to as "the item of interest" as it would inJohn's case.Yours truly,Jane BrownPlaygirl, Inc. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites