kenner

True. the legal kind. And True to ever being drunk. Are you religous?

Every day, a male employee walks up very close to a female co-worker at the coffee machine. He stops, inhales quite deeply and says that her hair smells nice. After a week of this, the woman can't stand it anymore. She takes her issue to a supervisor in Human Resources and asks to file a sexual harassment grievance against the guy. The supervisor is puzzled and asks, "What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?" "It's Frank. The midget."

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her Husband stalking around with a fly swatter 'What are you doing?' She asked. 'Hunting Flies' He responded. 'Oh! Killing any?' She asked. 'Yep, 3 males, 2 Females,' he replied. Intrigued, she asked. 'How can you tell them apart?' He responded, '3 were on a beer can, 2 were on the phone.

Yes I do. My wife and kids are my angels. Do you love life?

Welcome to CW Ian. You sound like my father in law. HeHe. The tech guys here are great . If you have any questions give them a try.

No I am not. Married for 8 years, living together for 12. Are you happily married?

Yes I am. Why do you hate girls?

Nope.Are you a girl?

What's little devil?

Yes I do. Do you?

The seven dwarfs always left to go to work in the mine early each morning. As always, Snow White stayed home doing her domestic chores. As lunchtime approached, she would prepare their lunches and carry them to the mine. One day as she arrived at the mine with the lunches, she saw there had been a terrible cave-in. Tearfully, and fearing the worst, Snow White began calling out, hoping against hope that the dwarfs had somehow survived. "Hello... Hello!" she shouted. "Can anyone hear me? Hello!" For a long while, there was no answer. Losing hope, Snow White again shouted, "Hello! Is anyone down there?" Just as she was about to give up all hope, she heard a faint voice from deep within the mine, singing; "Re-elect Barack Obama, vote for Barack Obama...." Snow White fell to her knees and prayed, "Oh, thank you, God! At least Dopey is still alive."

Nursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?" First a little girl says "The sky is definitely blue" Teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be gray, or orange..." Second little boy..."Trees are definitely green" "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown." Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks: "Does a fart have lumps?" The teacher looks horrified and says..."Johnny! Of course not!!!" "OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."

Diet...Do you like bad food?

Do like greasy food?

If it has caffeine in it I'll drink it. Do you like Tim Horton?

I can't live without coffee. Can you?

Did you have breakfast this morning?

I am always happy. Arn't you?

I think the old guy is just looking for some shade to keep that bald head from burning??? Or he's rich and she's a money hungry whore. LOL

I am fine. How are you?

Hey all. I am trying to network 2 HP PC's with Windows 7 64 bit and an older IBM laptop that has XP Pro on it. I have Googled this and it just seems to difficult. Is there an easier way to do this? The 2 HP machines are networked but for the life of me I can't get the laptop to connect. Any help would be much appreciated. Thanks.

I am fine. Do you like the weather?

What about a strap?

A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure the nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the vasectomy is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever. The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient sees six men in a room jerking-off. Curious, the man asks "What are they doing in there?" The nurse responds, "They are getting vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross and they have Obama Care."

An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, 'Seven Points.' His wife rolls over and says, 'What in the world was that?' The old man replied, 'its fart football.' A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says , 'Touchdown, tie score....' After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, 'Aha. I'm ahead 14 to 7.' Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, 'Touchdown, tie score.' Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.' Now the pressure is on the old man. He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.. Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he's got, and accidentally shits in the bed. The wife says, 'What the hell was that?' The old man says, 'Half time, switch sides