Mr Grumpy

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I use Intego which you probably won't have heard of because it was originally designed for Macs which is what I have. All of the well known makes such as Norton do a Mac version but it is adapted from the Windows one. Adapted stuff doesn't work as well as purpose built stuff hence the reason I use Intego. It catches all sorts of crap but doesn't interfere with the normal operation of my computer.

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I found this recently and wanted to share it. It is primarily aimed at the UK but I'm sure the others out there from other countries will see the humour. Since the threat level has been raised, and In light of all that's happened, time for a little humour methinks. By John Cleese The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent terrorist threats and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's Get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniform and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels. The Spanish are all excited to see their new submarines ready to deploy. These beautifully designed subs have glass bottoms so the new Spanish navy can get a really good look at the old Spanish navy. Australia, meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far, no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. John Cleese – British writer, actor and tall person

If the US levels were interpreted in the same sort of way from a UK point of view they would be the exact opposite of the laid back version from the UK with "Nuke 'em" in there somewhere.

Mrs G and myself have a great soft spot for Roger Moore. His first outing as James Bond was in Live and Let Die which opened in the cinemas in 1973. We went to see that for our first date and we call Live and Let Die our film. Needless to say we have seen every Bond movie since and have the complete set on DVD/Bluray.

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