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There's no doubt international cyberespionage is a thorny issue, but it may also be too big for just two nations to handle -- even if the countries in question are the U.S. and China. "Cyberconflicts are a global governance issue, and are not an issue that can be resolved with bilateral talks between two countries," maintained FireEye CTO Ashar Aziz. Among the issues on the agenda for the talks over the weekend between China's President Xi Jinping and U.S. President Obama were cybersecurity and hacker attacks on U.S. targets by hackers based in China. Even if China had the will to act against hackers within its territory, doing so wouldn't be easy, noted FireEye CTO Ashar Aziz. "The technical means to validate true reduction in cyberoffense are not very good since the advantage belongs overwhelmingly to the attacker in cyberspace, and existent security techniques are generally poor in their detection capabilities," Aziz told TechNewsWorld. Moreover, as powerful as the United States and China are, espionage and lawlessness in cyberspace may be more than two nations alone can handle, Aziz added. "Cyberconflicts are a global governance issue, and are not an issue that can be resolved with bilateral talks between two countries," he said. "The number of countries and nonstate groups with sophisticated offensive capabilities in cyberspace is growing at an alarming rate," Aziz continued. "So even if one or two countries decide to show restraint, it is difficult to see how that will result in fewer attacks on the U.S and other countries given the global and highly distributed nature of the problem." PRISM Revealed Earlier in the week, of course, the Obama administration -- already reeling from several scandals -- was hit by another controversy when The Guardian reported that a snooping program called PRISM run by the superspooks at the U.S. National Security Agency has been routinely rifling through user data stored on the servers of such tech giants as Microsoft, Google, Apple and Facebook. Senior executives at the companies targeted by the NSA all denied any knowledge of the program. Citing a top secret document, The Guardian reported that PRISM allowed the NSA to access emails, chat conversations, voice calls, documents and more on the high-tech companies' servers. The PRISM revelations came on the heels of another Guardian scoop that a secret court order had been issued against the U.S. telecom giant Verizon requiring that it turn over telephone records for tens of millions of its customers to the NSA. PRISM was authorized by U.S. federal judges under the Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Act, or FISA. Band-Aid for a Botnet Then there was Microsoft's latest anti-cybercrime effort, code-named Operation b54, by which Redmond joined forces with law enforcement agencies to disrupt more than 1,000 botnets based on a malware program called Citadel. It's estimated that the zombie nets raked in US$500 million in ill-gotten gains and affected five million people before Microsoft's intervention. As praiseworthy as Microsoft's efforts were, the problem they address may be too big for even the Windows King to dent, maintained Kevin O'Brien, an enterprise solution architect at CloudLock. "The actions Microsoft has taken as part of Operation b54 are a Band-Aid," he told TechNewsWorld. "Motivated criminals have demonstrated that they can exceed vendors' ability to provide software-based fixes, and it is reasonable to assume that future account and information crime will reflect an ever-more-sophisticated set of attacks," he added. Survey Roundup Data breaches are bad no matter where they happen, but in the United States and Germany, they're particularly costly. At $188 per record in the U.S. and $199 in Germany, those countries had the highest costs among the nine nations studied for the 2013 Cost of Data Breach report from Poneman Institute and Symnatec. As high as the cost of data breach in the U.S. was, though, it was still lower than in 2011, when it was $194 per record. "The decrease in U.S. costs is encouraging," Linda Park, senior product marketing manager for Symantec, told TechNewsWorld. "It means there is greater awareness around the issue of data breaches and that people are doing more to protect themselves against data loss." Another Poneman study -- one sponsored by Hartford Steam Boiler -- focused on cyberattacks on small businesses. Among its findings: Nearly one-third of U.S. small businesses had a cyberattack in the previous year and nearly three-quarters of those businesses were not able to fully restore their company's computer data; Primary methods of cyberattacks included computer viruses, worms and Trojans (61 percent) and unspecified malware (22 percent); and Consequences of the attacks included damage to reputations (59 percent), theft of business information (49 percent), loss of customers (48 percent) and system downtime (48 percent). Data Breach Diary June 4. University of Massachusetts at Amherst notifies clients of a data breach at its Center for Language, Speech and Hearing that occurred after a workstation was infected by malware. Some 1,670 patient records were affected. Records included Social Security numbers, addresses, names, dates of birth, health insurance company names or names of other payees, insurance numbers, primary health care or referring physicians, and diagnoses and procedure codes. No evidence was found that any data left the workstation. June 5. Ponemon Institute releases its annual Cost of Data Breach study showing an increase in the average cost of a data breach for the nine countries in the research to $136 per record compromised, from $130 in the previous year. June 6. European Parliament's civil liberties committee approves a draft of a law that would create a mandatory two-year jail term for computer hacking and a minimum three-year sentence for creating a botnet. Upcoming Security Events June 4. Get Actionable Insight with Security Intelligence for Mainframe Environments. Noon EDT. Dark Reading Webcast sponsored by IBM. Free. June 4. 2013 Government Cybersecurity Forum. Under Cybersiege: What Should America Do? 8:30 a.m.-2:15 p.m. EDT. Ronald Reagan Building, Washington, D.C. Sponsored by Kaspersky Lab. Free. June 10-13. Gartner Security and Risk Management Summit. National Harbor, Md. Registration: $2,375. June 11. Cyber Security Brainstorm. 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m. EDT. Newseum, Washington, D.C. Registration for nongovernment attendees: Through June 10, $495; onsite, $595. June 13. Agiliance Executive Advisory Council (EAC) forum. 9 a.m.-1:30 p.m. EDT. Law offices of Sidley Austin, Washington, D.C. Free. June 14-22. SANSfire 2013. Washington Hilton, 1919 Connecticut Ave. NW, Washington, D.C. Course tracks range from $1,800 to $4,845. June 15-16. Suits and Spooks conference. La Jolla, Calif. Registration: $595; Securing Our eCity Foundation members, $545; government/military/academia $395. June 20. Top Ten Web Defenses. 2 p.m. EDT. Black Hat webcast sponsored by Symantec. Free. June 25-26. ICF International CyberSci Summit 2013. Arlington Hilton Hotel, Arlington, Va. Registration: $650. July 24. Cyber Security Brainstorm. 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m. EDT. Newseum, Washington, D.C. Registration for nongovernment attendees: Through July 23, $495; onsite, $595. July 27-Aug. 1. Black Hat USA 2013. Caesars Palace, Las Vegas. Registration: Through July 24, $2,195; July 25 through Aug. 1, $2,595.

Videoconferencing has its limitations. If you want to connect with people from a remote location, you're pretty much stuck in a screen and you can't really scope out the surroundings. With Ava 500, though, you can embody an autonomous robot that lets you stroll through a building's corridors, wander in and out of rooms, inspect things at close range, and even chat at the water cooler. iRobot, perhaps best known for its Roomba autonomous vacuum cleaner, has announced the Ava 500, a robot that lets users conduct video conferences while on the move. The device was developed and will be marketed in close alliance with Cisco. It consists of a Cisco TelePresence EX60 personal telepresence system -- essentially a two-way videoconference screen with associated technology -- mounted on a smart pedestal from iRobot that stands at about 5 feet 5 inches but can be lowered to seated height. The Ava 500 can be sent to a location for a videoconference, tour a facility, or observe training in progress, for example. The device "is designed with very specific needs in mind -- situations where a user needs both video and freedom of movement," Cisco spokesperson Christine Johansen told TechNewsWorld. "We envision applications in corporate training, factory inspections, manufacturing sites, labs and customer Try Desk.com Start Your Free Trial Today. Click Here. experience settings." The Ava 500 is aimed at enterprises, which would lease it at about US$2,500 a month, Marcio Macedo, a director of product management at iRobot, told TechNewsWorld. Features of the Ava 500 The Ava 500 uses Cisco's Aironet 1600 Series wireless technology for communications. It offers enterprise-grade security and interoperability in any standards-based video collaboration environment. It maps its own space so it can travel without bumping into people or objects, or falling off stairs. Capable of remote access, the Ava 500 supports WiFi, 3G and 4G connectivity; it has an advanced sensor suite consisting of laser, sonar and 2D and 3D imaging; cliff sensors; and contact bumpers. It has touch-sensitive "skins" for local control that integrate with pad-based sensors such as barcode scanners, cameras and near field communications. It is customizable and has voice, touch and gesture controls. It recharges autonomously, and it has some manipulation capabilities. The Ava 500 is controlled using an iPad-like interface. It will be demonstrated at the InfoComm 2013 conference and expo in Orlando, Fla., later this month, and it will be available early next year. The Ava 500 is programmed using open application programming interfaces for HTTP as well as iRobot's own Aware 2 software. Ava's Pros and Cons "Autonomous mobility is a factor that could make the iRobot effective for plant tours and the like," Charles King, principal analyst at Pund-IT, told TechNewsWorld. "I think the pitch for using the device to make collaborative meeting locations more flexible is less compelling." The Ava 500 would offer better audio and video quality, reliability, security and interoperability than Skype or other existing videoconferencing solutions, Cisco's Johansen remarked. "Plus, if you were going to try to use Skype, you'd need someone on the far end holding a tablet or smartphone, moving it around for you. With this, you are free to move about and see what you please," she added. However, "We're getting to the point where we've got screens around us, whether it's our handsets or PCs or TVs," Jim McGregor, principal analyst at Tirias Research, told TechNewsWorld. "It's really hard to make a case for something like this, especially when we're constantly surrounded by screens and cameras on our mobile PCs, tablets and smartphones. We're getting to the point where we're in the virtual presence mode, but we haven't yet enabled it to the full extent." It's not that the Ava 500 doesn't have value, King remarked. "The real question is, how does the cost balance against the expected payback?"

In its 90-minute press conference at the big Electronic Entertainment Expo video game show in Los Angeles on Monday, Microsoft demonstrated a concentrated focus on Xbox One action games and serious gamers. "Microsoft needs to attract those hard-core fans as it goes up against Sony this holiday season," observed Paul Semel, editor of Electronic Gaming Monthly. Against the backdrop of the E3 video game conference and show in Los Angeles this week, Microsoft unveiled 13 new games for its upcoming Xbox One video game console. While the company had offered a peak at the hardware behind the system a few weeks ago at its Redmond, Wash., headquarters, its press conference at the Electronic Entertainment Expo press conference on Monday was almost solely about the games. "It was a lot to process," video game industry consultant N'Gai Croal told TechNewsWorld following the nearly 90-minute presentation. "It is still early, but this looks like a strong line-up." Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain Among all the possible adjectives to describe the rapid-fire press conference, "loud" is the first one that comes to mind. The E3 show in Los Angeles was the backdrop for Microsoft's Monday game announcements. The E3 show in Los Angeles was the backdrop for Microsoft's Monday game announcements. Kicking things off was the photorealistic Metal Gear Solid: The Phantom Pain, the latest in the popular third-person action game. As the series has typically been heavy on prerendered cut scenes and lengthy cinematic elements, it was difficult to tell where the prerendered began and the game play started. However, it showed up stunning visuals in an open world with dynamic weather. That was just one of several such upcoming experiences that gamers can look forward to playing when the system arrives on November 21 for US$499. "This is an exciting day for our teams," said Don Mattrick, president of the Interactive Entertainment Business at Microsoft. "We've been promising it is all about the games." Reaffirming the Xbox 360 While E3 always maintains a focus on the new, Microsoft did take a past move from the Sony playbook and noted that it will still support Try Desk.com Start Your Free Trial Today. Click Here. the aging Xbox 360, which was introduced eight years ago. Most notably, Microsoft will offer an updated version of the system. "We have updated the system with a modern look and feel that is based on the Xbox One design," said Yusuf Mehdi, senior vice president of the Online Audience Business Group at Microsoft. Game On In total, Microsoft demonstrated 13 games for the Xbox One, including also Dark Souls II; World of Tanks -- Xbox 360 Edition; the fighting game Killer Instinct; the third-person, historically based Ryse: Son of Rome; and the open world zombie survival game Dead Rising 3. Perhaps the biggest offering from an outside publisher, meanwhile, was the demo of Electronic Arts' Battlefield 4, which suggests yet another shooter showdown as rival Activision has already announced Call of Duty: Ghosts. In any case, this fresh commitment to games suggests that Microsoft is going to its core fans again. While it previously announced some entertainment and streaming options, little was actually noted about those during the Monday press conference. "I'm glad it was all games," said Paul Semel, editor of Electronic Gaming Monthly. "This gave us a sense of what the games will actually look like on the system. "Microsoft needs to attract those hard-core fans as it goes up against Sony this holiday season," Semel told TechNewsWorld. It is going to be a showdown between two giants, in other words, and that's notable in that it is the first time that Sony and Microsoft have duked it out in the same holiday season. Microsoft's E3 demonstrations included primarily action games for the Xbox One. Lights, Camera, Action At only one point during the press conference did Microsoft offer any other discussion between game announcements, and that was in a brief segment about the role of Xbox Live, Smart Glass and Upload Studios, which can record game play. That functionality, which allows players to save videos and upload them via Twitch, essentially transforms the game console into a social media device. 'A Very Good Move' "This takes away some of the Wii U's thunder, that's for sure," independent video game analyst Billy Pidgeon told TechNewsWorld. "The Twitch partnership is a very good move." Either way, the focus on action games specifically -- with the exception of the kid-friendly Max: The Curse of Brotherhood -- further suggests that Microsoft was going for the very hard-core gamer with the Xbox One. "It was very much either hard-core games or the cutie titles, and that has been the trend with Microsoft," Pidgeon added. "That's a questionable strategy given that casual gaming has gotten so big. Microsoft is clearly betting on the action games."

Sprint's putting a smartphone out there that's willing to scrap with the big guys, even though it commands a lowly price tag of just $99. The Vital has impressive functionality and some enticing extras, but it's not alone in offering itself at a "phenomenal" price, suggested IDC analyst Ramon Llamas, who pointed to the LUmia 820S as another example. Sprint this week released the US$99 ZTE Vital, a high mid-range Android smartphone that could rock the market. The device, which has been pegged as a competitor to Samsung's highly regarded Galaxy S4, has a host of power-packed features and has already divided analysts. "The price is the key," Richard Karpinski, a senior analyst at the Yankee Group, told TechNewsWorld. "True mid-range phones with good functionality and a good price will really help drive the value sector of the mobile market in the next 12-18 months -- and help operator profitability as well by lessening subsidy burdens on the postpaid side." On the other hand, "I think there's a lot of other phones that have a phenomenal price out there -- the Nokia Lumia 820S when it first came out on the market was $50, dropped from $80. So this is familiar territory," countered Ramon Llamas, a research manager at IDC. As for the Vital's positioning against the Galaxy S4, "I don't know yet, but we have to see over the coming weeks and months how this is going to be promoted," Llamas told TechNewsWorld. "By and large, ZTE devices at Sprint have been positioned as entry-level devices, and this is a high-level device. It can't just be the price -- it's got to be the experience." The Vital's Statistics The ZTE Vital is a 4G LTE device with a 1.5 GHz dual-core Qualcomm MSM8960 processor. It runs straight Android 4.1.2, aka "Jelly Bean" with no tweaks or modifications. It has a 4-inch HD 1280 x 720 in-plane switching break-resistant display. Its microSD card slot supports memory cards of up to 64 GB. The phone offers personal and business email and text messaging, and it supports Outlook email using Microsoft DirectPush Technology and Microsoft ActiveSync. It also supports instant messaging through Google Talk. The ZTE Vital comes with the standard Google applications that are preloaded on Android smartphones, such as Gmail, Google Search, and Google Maps for Android. It offers standard Android Jelly Bean functionality such as voice access for text, calls and other features, as well as turn-by-turn GPS navigation. The phone also comes preloaded with Real Racing 3 from Electronic Arts Mobile. Users have access to Sprint Zone, Sprint TV and Movies, Sprint Music Plus, Sprint ID, and Google Play. The Vital can serve as a 3G/4G LTE mobile hotspot supporting up to eight WiFi-enabled devices simultaneously. It is near field communication-capable, and supports WiFi 801.11/b/g/n as well as BlueTooth. It has a 1-MP front-facing camera and a 13-MP rear-facing camera with LED flash and video capture. Observations on the Vital Offering straight Android Jelly Bean is a good move, IDC's Llamas said, because "this is a growing trend, and smartphone makers are smart enough to pick up on it. There's a significant number of developers and wannabe developers who want to have the pure experience." While the Vital "comes close to matching the Galaxy S4 on a size and feature-by-feature basis, it still misses out on things like the very latest processor and some fit-and-feel-type issues," the Yankee Group Karpinski remarked. Sprint isn't positioning the Vital against the Galaxy S4 head to head, he said, but "it's trying to offer alternatives, including getting close to or at the $0 out-the-door device cost we all enjoyed before smartphones changed the functionality/price equation." ZTE and other companies such as Alcatel-Lucent and Huawei can offer smartphones at low costs because they "are taking advantage of lower manufacturing costs, economies of scale and cutting out extra costs like software-engineering unique skins and features to keep prices down," Karpinski suggested. "On the contract, postpaid side," he said, "price in particular comes into play for families that want multiple devices and don't want huge out-the-door costs."

Princeton University's campus was evacuated Tuesday following a bomb threat. Though most of the students left the campus days or weeks ago following the end of regular classes and the school's Commencement exercises, Princeton still ordered a campus-wide evacuation until further notice. Those still at the university were evacuated around 10:30 a.m., CBS Local News reported. It was unclear which buildings had been targeted, or how many. "There has been a bomb threat to multiple unspecified campus buildings," the university said in a statement. "Please evacuate the campus and all University offices immediately and go home unless otherwise directed by your supervisor." "Public Safety officers and Princeton Police will direct drivers leaving the campus and those without cars will be directed to evacuation sites. You will receive an update later today. Do not return to campus for any reason until advised otherwise," it added. The Princeton police also tweeted that all inbound traffic to the city was being blocked, and cautioned people to avoid downtown: Gov. Chris Christie's spokesman said the New Jersey politician was not in Princeton Tuesday, the location of the executive home. Princeton, located around 50 miles south of New York City, is part of the Ivy League. It is the fourth-oldest college in the United States.

GENEVA, Switzerland - The European Commission has reportedly raised concerns with the Obama administration about the massive NSA spying program recently uncovered by the Guardian. Under the recently revealed PRISM program, the US National Security Agency can tap American internet firms for online chats, personal emails and other personal information of users around the world. The EU Justice Commissioner and the Commission's vice president, Viviane Reding, said that she will "raise the issue with force and determination” at a meeting in Dublin on Friday with US officials. She said that she had already discussed privacy concerns with her US counterpart, Eric Holder, during meetings in Washington in April. The EU's Health Commissioner, Tonio Borg, went further stating in the European Parliament that: “The commission is asking for clear commitments from the United States as to the respect of the fundamental right of EU citizens to data protection." He went on to say that the European bloc "will request clarifications as to whether access to personal data within the framework of the PRISM program is limited to individual cases and based on concrete suspicions, or if it allows bulk transfers of data." DW reported that a report commissioned by the EU Parliament in 2012 showed that US authorities could access personal data of EU citizens since 2008. The report concluded that the EU had failed to protect its citizens from US spying. The new revelations regarding US surveillance comes amid an intense debate among the 27-member EU over a data protection directive that lawmakers hope will be signed before the parliamentary elections in 2014. "The European commission is concerned about the possible consequences on EU citizens' privacy," Mina Andreeva, the EU Justice commissioner's spokeswoman told BBC. "National security is a matter for the member states, but this case goes to show that a clear legal framework for the protection of personal data is not a luxury or not a constraint: it is a fundamental right. This is exactly the spirit of the EU's data protection reform that has been on the table for 18 months and where we see that some member states are not moving very enthusiastically towards adopting this reform swiftly." The EU's data protection reforms have been highly controversial among EU members and has been the focus of a major lobbying effort by US-based internet companies. Other European countries have also been outraged by the surveillance program. In Switzerland, where the former-CIA agent and now whistleblower, Edward Snowden, once worked, officials have said that allegations the spy agency was actively recruiting on its soil have further soured US-Swiss relations. “What is really very serious is that [uS] agents are active on foreign territory, and violate the laws of the country where they are,” former Swiss parliamentarian and prosecutor Dick Marty told Swiss public radio on Monday. “This is not the first time they have done this, and I must say that they have been spoiled by the Swiss. For too long Switzerland has tolerated CIA agents doing more or less whatever they wanted on our territory.” Switzerland has made a formal request to the US for clarification on allegations that CIA agents engineered a drunk driving arrest of a Swiss banker to obtain secrets. Snowden's claim would mean that the US violated the Vienna Convention on diplomatic relations.

Hundreds of Turkish riot police stormed early on Tuesday into Taksim Square, the central Istanbul plaza that has been occupied by anti-government protesters for almost two weeks. Officers fired water cannon, tear gas and rubber bullets, witnesses said, prompting many protesters to retreat into nearby Gezi Park. Other activists reportedly threw stones and fire bombs. Authorities said that the aim of the operation was to take down banners protesters had attached to a statue and overlooking building, not to disperse the crowd. The banners made the square look as though it was under "occupation" and were "negatively affecting our country's image in the eyes of the world opinion and leading to reaction from within the society," Istanbul's governor, Huseyin Avni Mutlu, said in a statement. They were replaced by a large Turkish flag and a portrait of the founder of modern Turkey, Mustafa Kemal Ataturk. "We don't want to intervene. We don't want to harm you," police told the crowd via loudspeaker. "Let's quit fighting." Protesters remained wary, however, according to the Guardian's correspondent on the scene. "The police have made public announcements saying they are not going to raid the park, they are just going to clean up the square. But right now they just teargassed the front steps of Gezi Park. [...] It is an atmosphere of massive confusion," correspondent Constanze Letsch reported. Some observers saw the police's arrival as a show of force intended to intimidate protesters ahead of Wednesday's scheduled talks between Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdogan and the organizers of the original Gezi Park sit-in. Speaking in Ankara, Erdogan said, "To those who ... are at Taksim and elsewhere taking part in the demonstrations with sincere feelings: I call on you to leave those places and to end these incidents and I send you my love. But for those who want to continue with the incidents I say: 'It's over.' As of now we have no tolerance for them." "Not only will we end the actions, we will be at the necks of the provocateurs and terrorists and no one will get away with it," he said, according to The Independent. Plans to develop the city green space triggered the first protests, which rapidly swelled into nationwide rallies against Erdogan and his government when police were sent in to disperse crowds in Gezi Park. Three people have died across Turkey and more than 5,000 were injured. The government has blamed the "illegal" protests on thugs and foreign provocateurs.

Two cannibals, a father and son, were elected by the tribe to go out and get something to eat. They walked deep into the jungle and waited by a path. Before long, along came this little old man. The son said, "Ooh dad, there's one." "No," said the father. "There's not enough meat on that one to even feed the dogs. We'll just wait." Well, a little while later, along came this really fat man. The son said, "Hey dad, he's plenty big enough." "No," the father said. "We'd all die of a heart attack from the fat in that one. We'll just wait." About an hour later, here comes this absolutely gorgeous woman. The son said, "Now there's nothing wrong with that one dad. Let's eat her." "No," said the father. "We'll not eat her either." "Why not?" asked the son. "Because, we're going to take her back alive and eat your mother."

As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you each $30,000 in cash before I die. At my funeral, I want you to place the money in my coffin so that I can try to take it with me." All three agreed to do this and were given the money. At the funeral, each approached the coffin in turn and placed an envelope inside. While riding in the limousine to the cemetery, the clergyman said "I have to confess something to you fellows. Brother Smith was a good churchman all his life, and I know he would have wanted me to do this. The church needed a new baptistery very badly, and I took $10,000 of the money he gave me and bought one. I only put $20,000 in the coffin." The physician then said, "Well, since we're confiding in one another, I might as well tell you that I didn't put the full $30,000 in the coffin either. Smith had a disease that could have been diagnosed sooner if I had this very new machine, but the machine cost $20,000 and I couldn't afford it then. I used $20,000 of the money to buy the machine so that I might be able to save another patient. I know that Smith would have wanted me to do that." The lawyer then said, "I'm ashamed of both of you. When I put my envelope into that coffin, it held my personal check for the full $30,000."

A doctor, a lawyer, a little boy and a priest were out for a Sunday afternoon flight on a small private plane. Suddenly, the plane developed engine trouble. In spite of the best efforts of the pilot, the plane started to go down. Finally, the pilot grabbed a parachute, yelled to the passengers that they had better jump, and bailed out. Unfortunately, there were only three parachutes remaining. The doctor grabbed one and said "I'm a doctor, I save lives, so I must live," and jumped out. The lawyer then said, "I'm a lawyer and lawyers are the smartest people in the world. I deserve to live." He also grabbed a parachute and jumped. The priest looked at the little boy and said, "My son, I've lived a long and full life. You are young and have your whole life ahead of you. Take the last parachute and live in peace." The little boy handed the parachute back to the priest and said, "Not to worry, Father. The 'smartest man in the world' just took off with my back pack."

A man was sent to Hell for his sins. As he was being taken to his place of eternal torment, he passed a room where a lawyer was having an intimate encounter with a beautiful young woman. "What a ripoff," the man muttered. "I have to roast for all eternity, and that lawyer gets to spend it with a beautiful woman." Jabbing the man with his pitchfork, the escorting demon snarled, "Who are you to question that woman's punishment?"

This long line of people are queueing up to get served in a shop. Suddenly one bloke starts massaging the person in front's back. The other bloke immediately turns round and says to him, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" The bloke behind tells him, "Well, I'm a chiropractor and I can't help myself. I can't help practicing my art." "Are you crazy?" says the bloke in front, "I'm a lawyer, but do you see me f**king the bloke in front of me?"

One evening, after attending the theater, two gentlemen were walking down the avenue when they observed a rather well dressed and attractive young lady walking ahead of them. One of them turned to the other and remarked, "I'd give $250.00 to spend the night with that woman." Much to their surprise, the young lady overheard the remark, turned around, and replied, "I'll take you up on that offer." She had a neat appearance and a pleasant voice, so after bidding his companion good night, the man accompanied the young lady to her apartment. The following morning the man presented her with $125.00 as he prepared to leave. She demanded the rest of the money, stating "If you don't give me the other $125.00, I'll sue you for it." He laughed, saying, "I'd like to see you get it on these grounds." Within a few days, he was surprised when he received a summons ordering his presence in court as a defendant in a lawsuit. He hurried to his lawyer and explained the details of the case. His lawyer said, "She can't possibly get a judgment against you on such grounds, but it will be interesting to see how her case will be presented." After the usual preliminaries, the lady's lawyer addressed the court as follows: "Your honor, my client, this lady, is the owner of a piece of property, a garden spot, surrounded by a profuse growth of shrubbery, which property she agreed to rent to the defendant for a specified length of time for the sum of $250.00. The defendant took possession of the property, used it extensively for the purposes for which it was rented, but upon evacuating the premises, he paid only $125.00, one-half of the amount agreed upon. The rent was not excessive, since it is restricted property, and we ask judgment be granted against the defendant to assure payment of the balance." The defendant's lawyer was impressed and amused by the way his opponent had presented the case. His defense therefore was somewhat different from the way he originally planned to present it. "Your honor," he said, "my client agrees that the lady has a fine piece of property, which he did rent such property for a time, and a degree of pleasure was derived from the transaction. However, my client found a well on the property around which he placed his own stones, sunk a shaft, and erected a pump, all labor performed personally by him. We claim these improvements to the property were sufficient to offset the unpaid amount, and that the plaintiff was adequately compensated for the rental of said property. We, therefore, ask that judgment not be granted." The young lady's lawyer answered, "Your honor, my client agrees that the defendant did find a well on her property. However, had the defendant not known that the well existed; he would never have rented the property. Also, upon evacuating the premises, the defendant removed the stones, pulled out the shaft, and took the pump with him. In doing so, he not only dragged the equipment through the shrubbery, but left the hole much larger than it was prior to his occupancy, making the property much less desirable to others. We, therefore, ask that judgment be granted." In the Judge's decision, he provided for two options: "Pay the $125.00 or have the equipment detached from its current location and provide it to the plaintiff for damages." The defendant immediately wrote a check.

A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?" The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?" Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no." The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?" The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again. "or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!" The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..." On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"

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TURIN, Italy — Was Silvio Berlusconi’s rise to power founded on an “original sin” — a secret deal between politicians and the Mafia to stop its violence in exchange for political protection? That explosive question is at the center of a trial under way in Palermo that observers hope will shed light on one of the murkiest and most tumultuous periods in recent Itailan history. The court is considering whether leading politicians and police officials negotiated with Sicilian Mafia bosses to end a wave of bombings in the early 1990s in return for favors. Then, prosecutors allege, the dons of Italy’s most notorious mafia put aside their feuds and vendettas and agreed to wage war on the Italian government, effectively blackmailing the Italian state to submit to their will. “The escalation of violence in 1992 and 1993 was aimed at pushing the state to come to a common understanding with the Sicilian Mafia,” wrote sociologist Alessandra Dino in the 2006 book "The Mafia and Anti-Mafia Dictionary." “The violence was aimed at causing a political turnover.” Although Berlusconi isn’t on trial, some believe the media billionaire benefited from the actions of his associates by taking power after the bombings and a series of corruption scandals brought down the old political establishment. Historians believe the Cosa Nostra killed 40 people as part of its campaign between 1988 and 1992. The violence claimed the lives of some of Italy’s top anti-Mafia judges, along with their family members, staff members and friends. Among the victims was judge Giovanni Falcone, who was blown up by a highway bomb near Palermo in 1992 along with his wife and three bodyguards. Two months later, another blast in Palermo claimed the life of Falcone's close friend, prosecutor Paolo Borsellino, and his five guards. The attacks also killed politicians and ordinary people and caused chaos in daily life as bombs went off in streets and public squares. “The whole country was on its knees, we were just expecting a final shot in the head,” Turin prosecutor Giancarlo Caselli said. “We were an inch from becoming a narco- or mafia-state.” A report by Palermo prosecutors claims that politicians and Mafia bosses held a series of secret meetings in 1992 and 1993 to end the violence before finally concluding an agreement in 1994. They say officials initiated the pact, in which police promised to soften some anti-Mafia laws and ease prison regulations for convicted gangsters. Among those on trial is Sicily’s former “boss of the bosses,” Toto Riina, his successor Bernardo Provenzano and three other dons. They’re accused of violence or threats against the state. Prosecutors have also charged former government minister Calogero Mannino and former senator Marcello Dell'Utri, Berlusconi’s close associate who’s alleged to have brokered the deal. Three former police generals are accused of violence against the state and former senate president Nicola Mancino faces a count of false testimony. “They are all charged with acting deliberately so that the threat [could] be successfully put in place, [and] functioning as conscious mediators between the Mafia and the threatened party,” the indictment reads. Dell'Utri helped Berlusconi found his first political vehicle, Forza Italia, in 1993. The new conservative party soon stormed to the top of the polls just as Italy’s older parties were discredited thanks to corruption and Mafia scandals. Those were troubled years for Italy: A mammoth nationwide judicial investigation called Mani Pulite, clean hands, prompted the political system’s effective collapse. Several politicians and business leaders committed suicide after their crimes were made public. Others fled abroad. The turmoil set the stage for Berlusconi. Il Cavaliere — the knight, as he’s nicknamed — played the role of savior. “The consensus Berlusconi managed to obtain back then in such a short period was truly unpredictable,” said University of Milan sociologist Nando Dalla Chiesa, whose father was killed by the Cosa Nostra in 1982. “Surprising given the fact that he himself belonged to the very same system that Mani Pulite wiped out. Somehow he was able to emerge clean out of it and sell himself as innovator.” Courts have already ruled that Dell’Utri and the dons were pulling strings behind the scenes. In a separate trial, judges ruled in March that Dell’Utri promised the mob that Berlusconi’s government would do its bidding in exchange for the Cosa Nostra’s political support. “There is evidence that Dell'Utri promised Mafia advantages in the political sphere for which, in return, the Mafia itself would vote for Forza Italia in the [March 1994] elections,” the court said. It sentenced Dell'Utri to a seven-year jail term. Prosecutors say although the negotiations between the Mafia and the government were already underway before Berlusconi took power, a deal could be reached only after his election. Prosecutors say an uneasy peace descended on Italy on the basis of the agreement. As the trial continues, prosecutors have already reportedly faced threats — in a country where criminal groups have killed 24 prosecutors. Also facing tricky questions over possible dirty deals with the mob is President Giorgio Napolitano who is among hundreds of witnesses expected to be called for his presumed knowledge of facts pertaining to the deal. Despite the trial’s high profile, analysts believe it will have little effect whatever its ruling on a political system that’s too corrupt to take action. “If the verdict confirms the prosecutors' theory, there will be no repercussions — at least not on a political level,” said the University of Milan’s Dalla Chiesa. “There would be big headlines in all the major newspapers but nothing more.”

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

A man was taking his wife, who was pregnant with twins, to the hospital when his car went out of control and crashed. Regaining consciousness, he saw his brother, a relentless practical joker, sitting at his bed side. He asked his brother how his wife was doing and his brother said, "Don't worry, everybody is fine and you have a son and a daughter. But the hospital was in a real hurry to get the birth certificates filed and since both you and your wife were unconscious, I named them for you." The husband was thinking to himself, "Oh no, what has he done now?" and asked with some trepidation, "Well, bro, what did you name them?" Whereupon, his brother replied, "I named the little girl Denise." The husband, relieved, said, "That's a lovely name! And what did you come up with for my son?" The brother winked and replied, "Denephew."

* You recycle your own toilet paper * Your mom has to shave more times a month than your dad * You see a bill board that says "Don't do crack" and it reminds you to pull up your pants. * You stare at a carton of orange juice because it says "concentrate." * Your bumper sticker reads: "One more Whore and We Get Gore." * The nativity scene you set up in your yard at Christmas includes two pink flamingos and baby Jesus lying in a painted tire. * Most of your teeth are on a chain around your neck. * You hunt from your bedroom window. * Your dad walks you to school because you're in the same grade. * You refrigerate your food stamps. * You use a 10 penny nail to pick your teeth after a night of road kill. * You have ever dressed your child as a "Snot-rag" for Halloween. * Your idea of a loaded dishwasher is getting your wife drunk. * You and your spouse get divorced and you are still relatives. * You go to your local ice cream store and order Copenhagen "sprinkles" on your cone. * You know instinctively that red wine goes with opossum. * You're always looking to find your Mother-in-Law's picture on the back of a milk carton! * The officer that just pulled you over asks if "you have any I.D."..and you respond "About whut?" * You take a beer to a job interview. * You are caught roll'n your trailer down the street to jump start the heater. * When you finish eatin' your bologna you use the rind for dental floss. * You go to Goodwill to meet women. * You and your friends are putting an engine in a pickup, drinking beer, and the conversation is: Which county jail has the best food!

A hillbilly family took a vacation to New York City. One day, the father took his son into a large building. They were amazed by everything they saw, especially the elevator at one end of the lobby. The boy asked, "What's this, Paw?" The father responded, "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life. I don't know what it is!" While the boy and his father were watching in wide-eyed astonishment, an old lady in a wheelchair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights above the walls light up. They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened again, and a voluptuous twenty-four-year old woman stepped out. The father turned to his son and said, "Go get your maw!"