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A dentist ran out of anaesthetic just before the last extraction for the day was scheduled. He gave the nurse a very large needle, instructing her to jab it hard into the patient's butt when the signal was given, so it would take his attention away from the tooth extraction. It all happened in an instant. The nurse, patient, and pliers were in place. The signal was given, and the nurse bayoneted the patient with the needle just as the dentist yanked the tooth. Afterwards, the dentist asked, "Hurt much?" The patient hesitated, "Didn't hardly feel it come out. And, man, those roots were really deep!"

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello and welcome to CyberPhoenix

Japan has seen the first successful test of a new high-speed maglev train that should be able to reach speeds as high as 500km/h. The L0 Series train is expected to be able to make the 322km trip between Tokyo and Nagoya in 40 minutes -- a journey that takes the current Shinkansen "bullet train" 90 minutes. Maglevs work by lifting the trains physically off the tracks so that the only friction involved comes from the air, with other magnets pulling it forward. Because they don't actually touch anything, they aren't affected by any kind of adverse weather that might slow down a train -- say, the wrong kind of snow, or any kind of leaf. While there are some examples of maglev trains in use around the world -- such as the 30km long Shanghai Pudong Maglev -- its experimental nature has left it something of a symbol of an eternally distant future. We were promised maglevs, jetpacks and astronaut food for all, and it's never come to pass. Until now! Or, 2027, that is. That's when the first Tokyo-Nagoya section of the new Chūō Shinkansen maglev line is slated to go into service. By 2045 the line is expected to have been further extended to Osaka by the project's operators, the Central Japan Railway Company, and the journey between the city and the capital reduced to an hour and seven minutes. A prototype of the train was unveiled last November, with the final version unveiled on 3 June. Tests are now underway with the train on an 18km stretch of track at Yamanashi, which will be incorporated into the final rail line's route, and during testing members of the public will be allowed to buy tickets to ride the train on its short shuttle back and forth. While the three main stations on the new line are currently served by the famous Shinkansen -- the first line of which went into operation in 1964 -- the maglev train is expected to fulfil more than just a boost to Japan's railway capacity. The country's railway technology expertise is seen as a valuable export, and a source of national pride. The aforementioned Chinese maglev in Shanghai, to connect Pudong airport to the city, is limited by the size of the track it's on. While it can reach an impressively speedy 431km/h -- which makes it the fastest commercial train in the world in service -- that's a speed only attained in tests. The short, bendy nature of its track restricts it on most days to roughly half of that. Japan's maglev may steal its thunder, and the expertise behind it may be purchased by other governments looking to install top-of-the-range railways. Brits may feel a little green when they realise that the 306km/h trains designed for High Speed 2 could already be out-of-date by the time they begin operation in 2026. However, they'd better get a move on. China's own engineers are currently developing a maglev train that travels in a vacuum tube which would be capable of speeds as high as 1000km/h, it is claimed. That's not far off the speed of sound.

As a publisher of games for its Xbox One hardware, Microsoft will allow players to trade in their games at "participating retailers" without anyone having to pay an extra fee, it said Thursday in a statement released online. However, it can't say the same for the other publishers that will create Xbox One games. They, Microsoft says, have the right to "opt out" entirely of letting players sell games, or to negotiate separate terms with retail stores that do involve the payments of "transfer fees". In other words: Don't ask us anymore, ask third-party publishers. Since used games can only be sold at "participating retailers," this necessarily excludes private sales: You can't sell a game to your next-door neighbour, or on eBay. Only by using a certain retail store as a middleman will you be able to trade in your games. Microsoft says that it is possible to give your games to your friends, but puts serious restrictions on this practice: you can only give a game to someone who has been on your Xbox Live friends list for 30 days, and each copy of a game can only exchange hands once. No passing a single game around a group of people or getting it back later: Each transfer is permanent and exhausts the possibility of further transfer. "Loaning or renting" games, Microsoft says, won't be possible when Xbox One launches, although it might down the line. In a separate informational post, Microsoft said that the Xbox One would indeed need to connect to the internet once every 24 hours to "verify if system, application or game updates are needed and to see if you have acquired new games, or resold, traded in, or given your game to a friend". If the system is unable to connect, Microsoft said, it would not be able to play any games at all, even single-player ones, although it could still watch live television and disc-based movies. "In areas where an ethernet connection is not available, you can connect using mobile broadband," Microsoft said. These clear statements on the Xbox One's restrictions on used games come weeks after a confusing debut for the new console, at which Microsoft executives gave different answers to different publications that often directly contradicted each other.

Recently, 27 June was outed as the launch date for BlackBerry Messenger on iOS and Android. T-Mobile's UK Twitter feed delivered the news, tweeting, "BlackBerry Messenger will be available to download on iOS and Android from June 27th! :)" along with an alleged photograph of BBM on a Samsung Galaxy S4. The tweet was later deleted, however and Wired.co.uk spoke to BlackBerry for more information. "While there have been reports that BBM will be available to iOS and Android on [27 June], this is not accurate. We will communicate an update as soon as we have an availability date to share." Previously it was understood that BBM would launch for non-BlackBerry devices "this summer, subject to approval by the Apple App Store and Google Play", according to the device-maker. Historically, mobile networks know of launches for services that may affect its network performance or sales far ahead of time. As such, its not unlikely that T-Mobile's "leaked" date of 27 June, if not eventually shown to be accurate despite BlackBerry's denial, is a good indicator that a launch will be around that time.

Long exposures bring a way to capture time in a photograph. As time goes by the camera keeps recording and the changes in the scene are reflected in the final photo as a single static capture of what happened while the shutter was open. There are some common myths about long exposures in photography so let’s review a few of them. 1) Long exposures can damage your camera or sensor This is heard around beginners or people that just start using a DSLR camera. The fact is that hundreds of photographers do long or very long exposures with their cameras every day and astrophotographers for example only do long and even very long exposures. The lifetime of cameras that often do long exposures is the same or even longer than normal cameras. This is because the very short exposures and bursts are the ones that create some degree of mechanical stress in the camera shutter and moving parts, so shoot longer and prosper! 2) It has to be dark to take a long exposure Nothing further from the truth as you can use ND filters to shoot long and even very long exposures during the daytime, even at noon with the sun high in the sky. For long exposures during the daytime you will need a very dark filter like a ND400 or ND1000 filter. The common filters like the ND4 or ND8 just won’t do it, they will increase your exposure time but not enough to create a distinctive effect. 3) Long exposures decrease noise In a long exposure the sensor temperature increases and if you leave the shutter open long enough thermal noise will be a factor. In general terms exposures under 1 minute are normally free of thermal noise but from 1 minute and up and depending on the ambient temperature things can get ugly. A five minute exposure with a DSLR in a Summer night will really look very bad due to noise. This is why for star-trails you should better take several short exposures and then stack them instead of a very long, say 20 minutes exposure. 4) Long exposures increase noise Wait… what is going on here? Are both wrong? Yes indeed because a long exposure will in fact decrease noise as long as thermal noise is not a factor. So while keeping your exposures under 1 minute you should always try to expose as much as possible to get a better effect and also maximize the signal to noise ration. You should think this “The longer the exposure the less the noise until thermal noise kicks in” that’s the rule. 5) You should leave the Camera Long Exposure Noise Reduction Off Yes and No. Modern cameras usually have two types of noise reduction functions. One is called “long exposure noise reduction” and you should leave that “On” or “Auto” if you are taking single shots without thinking about stacking. The camera will take a second exposure with the same exposure time as the photo but with the shutter closed, then the camera just subtracts what it finds in this “dark” exposure from your photo decreasing the noise. This is difficult or impossible to do with noise reduction software so let the camera do its job. The second type of noise reduction is called “high ISO noise reduction”. This only applies to JPG files and is similar to what noise reduction programs do so you can leave this type of NR off and do your own processing if needed. 6) The longer the exposure the better the result This is a very wrong assumption. In many examples the exposure time depends on what you are shooting, distance, the wind and several other factors. For moving water a short exposure usually brings more detail in the flow of the water while creating a long exposure effect at the same time. I’ve found that exposure times ranging from 1/8 to 2 seconds produce nice results with the ocean and water streams of waterfalls. Longer exposures usually just flatten everything creating a silky effect that can also turn out well but it’s always a good idea to experiment different times.

Chester and Earl are going hunting. Chester says to Earl, "I'll send my dog out to see if there are any ducks out in the pond. If there aren't any ducks out there, I'm not going hunting." So he sends the dog out to the pond. The dog comes back and barks twice. Chester says, "Well I'm not going to go out. He only saw two ducks out there." Earl says, "You're going to take the dog's barks for the truth?" Earl doesn't believe it, so he goes to look for himself. When he gets back he says, "I don't believe it where did you get that dog? There really are only two ducks out there!" Chester says, "Well, I got him from the breeder up the road. If you want, you can get one from him, too." So Earl goes to the breeder and says he wants a dog like the one his friend Chester has. The breeder obliges and Earl brings the dog home, tells it to go out and look for ducks. Minutes later the dog returns with a stick in it's mouth and starts humping Earl's leg. Outraged, Earl takes the dog back to the breeder and says, "This dog is a fraud. I want my money back!" The breeder asks Earl what the dog did. So Earl tells him that when he sent the dog out to look for ducks, it came back with a stick in its mouth and started humping his leg. The breeder says, "Earl, all he was trying to tell you was that there are more fucking ducks out there than you can shake a stick at!"

It was a warm, sunny Sunday, so a man and his wife decided to take in the zoo. They spent the day, and at closing time they walked past the gorilla cage, and the man noticed the gorilla looking at his wife. "That gorilla is getting excited just looking at your tits," he said. "Why don't you take your blouse off and we'll see what he does?" At first she declined. But finally persuaded by her husband, she took off her blouse and bra. The gorilla went nuts. He started grunting and jumping up and down. "Hey," the husband said, "let's really blow his mind. Take off all your clothes and we'll see what he does." Again she said no and again he persuaded her. This time the ape really went bananas! He climbed up and down the bars, did flips, ran around in circles and tossed his food all over the cage. The husband went over to the cage, opened the door and pushed his wife in. "Now," said the husband with an evil smile, "tell HIM you have a headache!"

It's Halloween and everyone's out trick-or-treating. A bartender is working the late-night shift at the bar. He looks outside and sees everyone in crazy costumes. He sighs and picks up a glass and starts cleaning it. At around midnight, a guy in a vampire costume walks in and sits at the bar. He says to the bartender "Hi. I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please." The bartender looks at him skeptically. "No you're not. You're just wearing a costume." "No, no, really," he insists. "I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please." "Alright," the bartender says. He goes in the back and comes out with a cup of blood. He gives it to the vampire who drinks it right away. "Thanks," he says, and leaves. An hour later another vampire comes in and sits at the bar. He says "Hi, I'm a vampire and I'd like a cup of human blood please." "Okay," the bartender says and goes in the back again. He comes out with another cup of blood. He gives it to the vampire who drinks it and leaves with a 'thanks'. An hour later a third vampire comes in and sits at the bar. "Hi," he says to to the bartender. "I'm a vam..." "I know, I know," the bartender interrupts. "You're a vampire and you want a cup of blood right?" "Um, no," the vampire answers. "I AM a vampire, but I'd just like a glass of hot water please." "Sure" the bartender says. He pours him a glass of hot water. As he gives it to the vampire he says "You know, there were two vampires that came in before you that wanted blood. How come you're just asking for water?" Without answering the vampire reaches into his pocket and pulls out a used band-aid. "Tea time."

Supplemental Rules for Bowling If you holler "overs!" before the ball passes the arrows, you get to throw the ball over, unless of course, you get a strike. In which case, you can renege on the "overs". When your team is about 10 marks down in the 8th or 9th frame, you can invoke the rule "First Team Through Bowling Wins the Game", and your team still has a chance. After a member of the opposing team bowls 4 strikes in a row, he/she must bowl the next 4 frames blindfolded. If he/she continues to strike, his/her shoelaces will be tied together for 2 frames. When you leave the 10-pin and you know you can't make the spare, but another member of your team can, invoke the "Designated Bowler" rule. After you have 4 splits in one game, you may say "Kings X" and take those 4 frames over. However, if you split on the 2nd time around, you accept it. After all, "Fair is Fair". If your ball goes in the gutter and jumps back onto the lane, knocking dow pins, by golly, you get them! That's much harder than to knock them down the conventional way. Good bowling should be recognized. A ball should be declared dead when you bowl 3 games without a strike. It shall be the owners privilege to decide on the disposition of said dead ball - Burial at Sea, Dropped from an airplane over a live volcano, or a simple burial in the city dump. For a small fee, a league officer can be bribed to deliver a short eulogy.

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home. She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor. "Getting a second opinion!"

A man and a woman were having dinner in a fine restaurant. Their waitress, taking another order at a table a few paces away noticed that the man was slowly sliding down his chair and under the table, with the woman acting unconcerned. The waitress watched as the man slid all the way down his chair and out of sight under the table. Still, the woman dining across from him appeared calm and unruffled, apparently unaware that her dining companion had disappeared. After the waitress finished taking the order, she came over to the table and said to the woman, "Pardon me, ma'am, but I think your husband just slid under the table." The woman calmly looked up at her and replied firmly, "Ohh no, My husband just walked in the door."

The boss came early in the morning one day and found his manager kissing his secretary. He shouted at him, "Is this what I pay you for?" The manager replied: "No, sir, this I do free of charge."

An airline captain was breaking in a new blonde stewardess. The route they were flying had a layover in another city. Upon their arrival, the captain showed the stewardess the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop and stay overnight. The next morning, as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing. He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up wondering what happened. She answered the phone, crying, and said she couldn't get out of her room. "You can't get out of your room?" the captain asked, "Why not?" The stewardess replied: "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"

1. Sing the Batman theme incessantly. 2. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sensual massage." 3. Specify that your drive-through order is "to go." 4. Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public consisting entirely of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeep Bip..." 5. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others. 6. Amuse yourself for endless hours by hooking a camcorder to your TV and then pointing it at the screen. < 7. Speak only in a "robot" voice. 8. Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly. 9. Start each meal by conspicuously licking all your food, and announce that this is so no one will "swipe your grub". 10. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 98 copies. 11. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets. 12. Sniffle incessantly. 13. Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles. 14. Name your dog "Dog." 15. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up." 16. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think." 17. Claim that you must always wear a bicycle helmet as part of your "astronaut training." 18. Declare your apartment an independent nation, and sue your neighbors upstairs for "violating your airspace". 19. Forget the punchline to a long joke, but assure the listener it was a "real hoot." 20. Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with Lysol. 21. Practice making fax and modem noises. 22. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc:" them to your boss. 23. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up. 24. Invent nonsense computer jargon in conversations, and see if people play along to avoid the appearance of ignorance. 25. Erect an elaborate network of ropes in your backyard, and tell the neighbors you are a "spider person." 26. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with the prophesy." 27. Wear a special hip holster for your remote control. 28. Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment. 29. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears. 30. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room. 31. Give a play-by-play account of a persons every action in a nasal Howard Cosell voice. 32. Holler random numbers while someone is counting. 33. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way." 34. Drum on every available surface. 35. Staple papers in the middle of the page. 36. Ask 1-800 operators for dates. 37. Produce a rental video consisting entirely of dire FBI copyright warnings. 38. Sew anti-theft detector strips into peoples backpacks. 39. Hide dairy products in inaccessible places. 40. Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page. 41. Set alarms for random times. 42. Order a side of pork rinds with your filet mignon. 43. Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving. 44. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "croaking" noise. 45. Honk and wave to strangers. 46. Dress only in clothes colored Hunters Orange. 47. Change channels five minutes before the end of every show. 48. Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental movies. 49. Wear your pants backwards. 50. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the cash register. 51. Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!" 52. ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. 53. only type in lowercase. 54. dont use any punctuation either 55. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets. 56. Pay for your dinner with pennies. 57. Tie jingle bells to all your clothes. 58. Repeat everything someone says, as a question. 59. Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps. 60. Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ O.J Simpson conspiracy theories. 61. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, its gone now." 62. Light road flares on a birthday cake. 63. Wander around a restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley. 64. Leave tips in Bolivian currency. 65. Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador." 66. At the laundromat, use one dryer for each of your socks. 67. When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until physically restrained. 68. Wear a cape that says "Magnificent One." 69. As much as possible, skip rather than walk. 70. Stand over someone's shoulder, mumbling, as they read. 71. Pretend your computer's mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it. 72. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up," and repeat. 73. Drive half a block. 74. Inform others that they exist only in your imagination. 75. Ask people what gender they are. 76. Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back. 77. Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern drawl. 78. Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes". 79. Deliberately hum songs that will remain lodged in co-workers brains, such as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song. 80. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head. like a parakeet. 81. Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day. 82. Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September. 83. Change your name to "AaJohn Aaaaasmith" for the great glory of being first in the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce each "a." 84. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down. 85. Chew on pens that you've borrowed. 86. Wear a LOT of cologne. 87. Listen to 33rpm records at 45rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is necessary because of your "superior mental processing." 88. Sing along at the opera. 89. Mow your lawn with scissors. 90. At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batabatabata-suhWING-batter!" 91. Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend." 92. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme. 93. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles." 94. Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture." 95. Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times. 96. Never make eye contact. 97. Never break eye contact. 98. Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn. 99. Construct your own pretend "tricorder," and "scan" people with it, announcing the results. 100. Make appointments for the 31st of September. 101. Invite lots of people to other people's parties.

ecology

Hello Bond1234 Welcome to CyberPhoenix

Hello bum4evr I hope you enjoy your stay

I made this tut as you can see by the date way before i just posted this for noobs with photoshop This Thread will show you how to make some basic animations with Photoshop. Step 1: Open a new document. I'm going to use a size of 1000px x 500px for this tutorial. Step 2: Add a new layer (shift+control+n) and paint(1) a 50px cricle(2) into that layer(3). Step 3: Go to: Windows(1), and click on Animation(2). A window on the bottom will appear(3). Note: Click that button(4) to change displaymodes if it looks diffrent. Step 4: Set the delaytimer(1) to "No delay"(2) and duplicate the frame 3 times(3). Step 5: Click on the secound frame(1) and move(2) the cricle(3). Do the same with the third frame(4). Step 6: Press Ctrl and klick on frame 1 & 4(1). Doubleklick on the circle layer(2) and enable coloroverlay(3). Change the color to red and hit "okay"(4). Click on the second frame and change his circles color to blue. Do the same with your third frame, but pick green instead of blue. Step 7a: Select frame 1 and 2 by pressing Ctrl and clicking on them(1). Now click on the "add frames" button(2) and change the value to 18(3), them hit "okay"(4). Note: More frames would make a smoother movement but also slows down the movement and increases filesize. Examples below! Step 7b: Repeat step 7a with frame 20 & 21. Repeat it again with frame 39 & 40. You should have 58 frames by now. Select frame 58(1) and delete it(2). Note: Frame 1 and 58 are the same and we just need one of them. Step 8: Press Alt+Shift+Ctrl+S. A window should appear. Set the loop to endless(1) and save it.(2) Done! it should look like this now: 57 frames: 600 frames:

yea thats the one