Why did the chicken cross the road?

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Why did the chicken cross the road?

 

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

 

George Bush: There was no chicken. There wasn't even a road.

 

Julius Caesar: To come, to see, to conquer.

 

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

 

Moses: Know ye that it is unclean to eat the chicken that has crossed the road, and that the chicken that crosseth the road doth so for its own preservation.

 

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

 

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

 

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

 

Thomas Dequincy: Because it ran out of opium.

 

Rene Descartes: It had sufficient reason to believe it was dreaming anyway.

 

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

 

Bob Dylan: How many roads must one chicken cross?

 

TS Eliot: Do I dare to cross the road?

 

Epicurus: For fun.

 

Paul Erdos: It was forced to do so by the chicken-hole principle.

 

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

 

Basil Fawlty: Oh, don't mind that chicken. It's from Barcelona.

 

Gerald R. Ford: It probably fell from an airplane and couldn't stop its forward momentum.

 

Sigmund Freud: The chicken obviously was female and obviously interpreted the pole on which the crosswalk sign was mounted as a phallic symbol of which she was envious, selbstverstaendlich.

 

Robert Frost: To cross the road less traveled by.

 

Zsa Zsa Gabor: It probably crossed to get a better look at my legs, which, thank goodness, are good, darling.

 

Gilligan: The traffic started getting rough; the chicken had to cross. If not for the plumage of its peerless tail the chicken would be lost, the chicken would be lost.

 

Al Gore: I don't know, but the road is a pathway for those evil cars. We destroy it, a car couldn't have run over the poor chicken.

 

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

 

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

 

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

 

Lee Iacocca: It found a better car, which was on the other side of the road.

 

John Paul Jones: It has not yet begun to cross

 

Martin Luther King: It had a dream.

 

James Tiberius Kirk: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

 

James Lamb: It saw me coming.

 

Stan Laurel: I'm sorry, Ollie. It escaped when I opened the run.

 

Rush Limbaugh: Because I am the greatest and it came over to be my dinner.

 

Leda: Are you sure it wasn't Zeus dressed up as a chicken? He's into that kind of thing, you know.

 

Gottfried Von Leibniz: In this best possible world, the road was made for it to cross.

 

Groucho Marx: Chicken? What's all this talk about chicken? Why, I had an uncle who thought he was a chicken. My aunt almost divorced him, but we needed the eggs.

 

Karl Marx: To escape the bourgeois middle-class struggle.

 

John Milton: To justify the ways of God to men.

 

Sir Isaac Newton: Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

 

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored) reason.

 

Thomas Paine: Out of common sense.

 

Wolfgang Pauli: There already was a chicken on the other side of the road.

 

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

 

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

 

Sisyphus: Was it pushing a rock, too?

 

Socrates: To pick up some hemlock at the corner druggist.

 

The Sphinx: You tell me.

 

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too

 

Margaret Thatcher: There was no alternative.

 

Dylan Thomas: To not go (sic) gentle into that good night.

 

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

 

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

 

George Washington: Actually it crossed the Delaware with me back in 1776. But most history books don't reveal that I bunked with a birdie during the duration.

 

Mae West: I invited it to come up and see me sometime.

 

William Wordsworth: To have something to recollect in tranquility.

 

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.