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uk666

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uk666 last won the day on June 20

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About uk666

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    Hole of Horcum
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    Computers
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  1. The covering up A nun, badly needing to use to the restroom, walked into a local Hooters restaurant. The place was hopping with music and loud conversation and occasionally, 'the lights would turn off.' Each time the lights would go out, the place would erupt into cheers However, when the revellers saw the nun, the room went dead silent. She walked up to the bartender, and asked, 'May I please use the restroom? The bartender replied, 'OK, but I should warn you that there is a statue of a naked man in there wearing only a fig leaf.' 'Well, in that case, I'll just look the other way,' said the nun. So, the bartender showed the nun to the back of the restaurant. After a few minutes, she came back out, and the whole place stopped just long enough to give the nun a loud round of applause. She went to the bartender and said, 'Sir, I don't understand. Why did they applaud for me just because I went to the restroom?' 'Well, now they know you're one of us,' said the bartender, 'Would you like a drink?' 'No thank you, but I still don't understand,' said the puzzled nun. 'You see,' laughed the bartender, 'every time someone lifts the fig leaf on that statue, the lights go out. Now, how about that drink?
  2. Delivering Bad News Tom, Glenn, and Scott were working on a high-rise building project. Glenn fell off and was instantly killed. As the ambulance took the body away, Scott said, "Someone should go and tell his wife." Tom says, "OK, I'm pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I'll do it." Two hours later, Tom came back carrying a 6-pack. Scott asked, "Where did you get that, Tom?" "Glenn's wife gave it to me." "That's unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you the beer?" Tom said, "Well not exactly. When she answered the door, I said to her, 'You must be Glenn's widow.' She said, 'No, I'm not a widow.' And I said, "Wanna bet me a six-pack?......."
  3. Arguing with the wife is a lot like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet……In the end you just give up and go “I Agree”.
  4. Why did the doctor tell the nurse to walk past the pill cupboard quietly……So she wouldn’t wake the sleeping pills.
  5. That awkward moment, one year into your marriage, when you realize the husband-wife jokes weren’t all jokes…
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