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uk666 last won the day on October 14

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About uk666

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  1. uk666


    Home Tereszka, a child in a residence for disturbed children. She drew a picture of “home” on the blackboard. Poland, 1948. Her eyes are piercing, like a window to her soul. A girl who grew up in a concentration camp was asked to draw “home” and what she drew was scribbles. It shows how the horrors of the concentration camp warped her mind. It’s a mystery what the lines truly mean to her, probably the chaos or the barbed wire. This photograph was taken by David Seymour in a home for emotionally disturbed children located in Warsaw, 1948. There are a few versions of this image, but most of the captions mention that the subject grew up inside a concentration camp. There’s little information about the girl’s identity, her name was Tereszka, a diminutive version of Teresa. Her eyes are piercing, like a window to her soul. Not the eyes of an innocent youth. She’s probably experienced horrors at that age most will fortunately never have to. Like the soldiers who have seen heavy combat, she’s got the terrifyingly haunting one-thousand-yard stare. Most children who survived the Holocaust emerged from hiding places – attics and cellars, caves and forests, convents and monasteries, and homes ranging from huts to castles. When the war in Europe ended in May 1945, more than 1 million and perhaps as many as 1.5 million Jewish children were dead, targeted victims in the Nazis’ calculated program of genocide. Of the estimated 216,000 Jewish youngsters deported to Auschwitz, only 6,700 teenagers were selected for forced labour; nearly all the others were sent directly to the gas chambers. When the camp was liberated on January 27, 1945, Soviet troops found just 451 Jewish children among the 9,000 surviving prisoners. Liberation for children was not necessarily liberating. Mostly, parents did not come for them. Children waited for years until hope too had died. The youngest survivors did not know their names, country of origin, or even their first language. The older ones faced untold hardships and, for most, 3-5 years more passed before they had found a home. Children were swept up from Europe and resettled in England and Israel, the United States and Canada, Australia and South Africa. Their experiences were very different from the older survivors. Generally speaking, those under age 16 or 17, by war’s end, were taken in by foster families, returned to school, and discouraged to speak of the past.
  2. In Praise of Older Women An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night & ask you, "What are you thinking?" An older woman doesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. The older a woman gets, the stronger her libido gets and the older a man gets, the weaker his libido gets ... which is why nature intended young guys to go out with older women and young women to go out with older men. An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an asshole if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know... Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. An older woman will never accuse you of "using her." She's using you. Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call... Older women know how to cook. Young women know how to dial Pizza Hut Take out. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas... Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know. Older women often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease. Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park. Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a man just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact. An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.
  3. The Masterpiece Some time ago, there was this artist, who worked from a studio in his home. He specialized in nudes, and had been working on what he thought would be a masterpiece for several months now. As usual, his model reported, and after exchanging the usual greetings and small talk, she began to undress for the day's work. He told her not to bother, and that he felt pretty bad with a cold he had been fighting. He added that he would pay her for the day, but that she could just go home; he just wanted some hot tea and then, off to bed. The model said "Oh, please, let me make the tea for you. It's the least I can do." He agreed and told her to make herself a cup too. They were sitting in the living room just exchanging small talk and enjoying their tea, when he heard the front door open and close, then some familiar footsteps. "Oh my God !!!" he whispered loudly, "It's my wife! Quick!!! Take all your clothes off."
  4. Sleeping in Church One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It's very embarrassing. What should I do?" "I have an idea", said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you. I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a good poke in the leg." In the church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the ultimate sacrifice you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones. "Jesus!" Jones cried as his wife jabbed him in the leg with the hatpin. "Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr. Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. “Who is your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards Mrs. Jones. "God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin. "Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr. Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her husband with the hatpin again. The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?" Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that dammned thing in me one more time and I'll break it in half and shove it up your ass!" "Amen" replied the congregation.
  5. Men are like.... Snowstorms……You never know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get or how long he will last.
  6. Men are like.... Popcorn……They satisfy you, but only for a little while.
  7. Men are like.... Mascara……They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
  8. Men are like.... Lawn Mowers……If you're not pushing one around, then you're riding it.
  9. Men are like.... Horoscopes……They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
  10. World's highest standard of living, There's no way like the American way Famous image of African American flood victims lined up to get food and clothing at Red Cross relief station in front of billboard ironically extolling “World’s highest standard of living. There’s no way like the American way”. Original title of the picture: “The Louisville Flood”. 1937 In early January 1937, the swollen banks of the Ohio River flooded more than seventy percent of Louisville, Kentucky, and its surrounding areas. With one hour’s notice, photojournalist Margaret Bourke-White caught the next plane to Louisville. She photographed the city from makeshift rafts, recording one of the largest natural disasters in American history which claimed close to 400 lives and left roughly one million people homeless across five states in the winter of that terrible year. One of the most famous pictures she took shows African-American men, women and children lined up outside a flood relief agency. In striking contrast to their grim faces, the billboard for the National Association of Manufacturers above them depicts a smiling white family of four (and their dog) riding in a car under a banner with the ultimately ironic slogan “World’s Highest Standard of Living. There’s no way like the American Way”. Although, the country was dealing with a depression and local lives are even further complicated by being displaced from their homes, the individuals photographed are dressed pretty well. Women have beautiful long pea coats, clean hats; heels and two women are even shown wearing hosiery in great condition. The men are depicted wearing nice long coats, non-wrinkled pants and all of which are wearing hats. The billboard is an archetype that carries some notable social and political implications. The father-mother-son-daughter (and even pet terrier) unit embodied the American nuclear family, as outlined by countless hegemonic institutions, including magazine publications and advertising agencies. Produced by The National Association of Manufacturers, thousands of billboard scenes, like the one above, aimed at spreading hope across the United States by advocating the American Dream. Bourke-White’s The Louisville Flood remains an iconic image of the Great Depression, embodying an era that began with the stock market crash in 1929 and ended with the onslaughts of World War II in 1941.
  11. uk666

    The Real Man Test

    The Real Man Test Note: All "real men" answer "C" to all of these questions. Knowing this, women will have come far in understanding men and enriching their own lives if they carefully review the "C" answers. 1. Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to: A. Present it to the President of the United States. B. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations. C. Take it apart. 2. As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most? A. Innocence. B. Idealism. C. Cherry bombs. 3. When is it okay to kiss another male? A. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions. B. When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.) C. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman - like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed. 4. In your opinion, the ideal pet is: A. A cat. B. A dog. C. A dog that eats cats. 5. You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say? A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it. B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you cannot honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope. C. That you cannot believe the Broncos called a draw play on third and seventeen. 6. Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her? A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner. B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her. C. Tell her what? 7. One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is: A. "Do they need to eat or anything?" B. "They're in school already?" C. "There are three of them?" 8. When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear? A. When it has turned the colour of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs. B. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers. C. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife is quietly trying to discard his underwear (which she is frankly jealous of because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her). 9. What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land? A. He was being tested. B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there. C. He refused to ask for directions. 10. What is the human race's single greatest achievement? A. Democracy. B. Religion. C. Remote control.
  12. Never Judge a Book by its Author .................................................................................. Is O. J. Guilty?..........................Howard I. Know Animal Illnesses........................Ann Thrax French Overpopulation…….........Francis Crowded Fallen Underwear .....................Lucy Lastic Downpour! ..............................Wayne Dwops Cloning ...................................Ima Dubble Irish Flooring ...........................Lynn O'Leum I Lived in Detroit ......................Helen Earth Inflammation, Please ................Arthur Itis Handel's Messiah .....................Ollie Luyah House Construction ………..........Bill Jerome Home Unemployed ............................Anita Job Off to Market ...........................Tobias A. Pigg Holmes Does it Again ……….......Scott Linyard Home Alone IV .........................Eddie Buddyhome Lewis Carroll ............................Alison Wonderland Leo Tolstoy ..............................Warren Peace The L. A. Lakers Breakfast …......Kareem O' Wheat Neither a Borrower ...................Nora Lender Bee The French Chef .......................Sue Flay Tight Situation ..........................Leah Tard The Scent of a Man ..................Jim Nasium Why Cars Stop .........................M. T. Tank Wind in the Willows ………..........Russell Ingleaves Look Younger ...........................Fay Slift Mountain Climbing ....................Andover Hand It's Springtime! .........................Theresa Green No! ..........................................Kurt Reply And Shut Up! ...........................Sid Downe
  13. Not on the Weekends A salesman was testifying in his divorce proceedings against his wife. "Please describe," said his attorney, "the incident that first caused you to entertain suspicions as to your wife's infidelity." "Well, I'm pretty much on the road all week," the man testified. "So naturally when I am home, I'm attentive to the wife." "One Sunday morning," he continued, "we were in the midst of some pretty heavy love-making when the old lady in the apartment next door, started pounded on the wall and yelled, 'Can't you at least stop all that racket on the weekends?'"
  14. uk666

    300% Impotent

    300% Impotent A woman went to her doctor and complained that her husband was 300% impotent. The doctor replied, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She answered, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. '' ''In addition'' she said ''he burned his tongue and broke his fingers!"
  15. The vulture and the little girl The vulture and the little girl, 1993. Original title: Struggling Girl. The vulture is waiting for the girl to die and to eat her. The photograph was taken by South African photojournalist, Kevin Carter, while on assignment to Sudan. He took his own life a couple of month later due to depression. In March 1993 Kevin Carter made a trip to Sudan. Near the village of Ayod, Carter found a girl who had stopped to rest while struggling to a United Nations feeding centre, whereupon a vulture had landed nearby. Careful not to disturb the bird, he waited for twenty minutes until the vulture was close enough, positioned himself for the best possible image and only then chased the vulture away. At this point Carter was probably not yet aware that he had shot one of the most controversial photographs in the history of photojournalism. “The parents of the children were busy taking food from the plane, so they had left their children only briefly while they collected the food. This was the situation for the girl in the photo taken by Carter. A vulture landed behind the girl. To get the two in focus, Carter approached the scene very slowly so as not to scare the vulture away and took a photo from approximately 10 meters. He took a few more photos before chasing the bird away”. The photograph was sold to The New York Times where it appeared for the first time on March 26, 1993. Practically overnight hundreds of people contacted the newspaper to ask whether the child had survived, leading the newspaper to run a special editor’s note saying the girl had enough strength to walk away from the vulture, but that her ultimate fate was unknown. Because of this, Carter was bombarded with questions about why he did not help the girl, and only used her to take a photograph. As with many dramatic photographs, Carter came under criticism for this shot. The St. Petersburg Times in Florida wrote: “The man adjusting his lens to take just the right frame of her suffering, might just as well be a predator, another vulture on the scene”. The attitude that public opinion condemned was not only that of taking the picture instead of chasing the vulture immediately away, but also the fact that he did not help the girl afterwards –as Carter explained later- leaving her in such a weak condition to continue the march by her self towards the feeding center. However, Carter was working in a time when photojournalists were told not to touch famine victims for fear of spreading disease. Carter estimated that there were twenty people per hour dying at the food centre. The child was not unique. Regardless, Carter often expressed regret that he had not done anything to help the girl, even though there was not much that he could have done. In 1994, Kevin Carter won the Pulitzer prize for the disturbing photograph of a Sudanese child being stalked by a vulture. That same year, Kevin Carter committed suicide. Carter is the tragic example of the toll photographing such suffering can take on a person. Along with his famous photograph, Carter had captured such things as a public necklacing execution in 1980s South Africa, along with the violence of the time, including shootouts and other executions. Carter spoke of his thoughts when he took these photographs: “I had to think visually. I am zooming in on a tight shot of the dead guy and a splash of red. Going into his khaki uniform in a pool of blood in the sand. The dead man’s face is slightly grey. You are making a visual here. But inside something is screaming: ‘My God!’. But it is time to work. Deal with the rest later. If you can’t do it, get out of the game”. The suicide: On 27 July 1994 Carter drove his way to Parkmore near the Field and Study Center, an area where he used to play as a child, and committed suicide by taping one end of a hose to his pickup truck’s exhaust pipe and running the other end to the driver’s side window. He died of carbon monoxide poisoning at the age of 33. Carter’s suicide note read: “I’m really, really sorry. The pain of life overrides the joy to the point that joy does not exist… I am depressed… without phone… money for rent … money for child support… money for debts… money!!!… I am haunted by the vivid memories of killings and corpses and anger and pain… of starving or wounded children, of trigger-happy madmen, often police, of killer executioners… I have gone to join Ken [recently deceased colleague Ken Oosterbroek] if I am that lucky”.