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uk666 last won the day on August 15

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About uk666

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    Hole of Horcum
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  1. Best Of Friends A rather reticent young girl was asked how she got on with her new boyfriend. "Let's just say my legs are my best friends," she replied mysteriously. "Oh, come on," said her mate. "What does that mean?" "It means he came on too strong so I walked home." A few weeks later the two friends were talking and the girl's mate asked her how her new date went on the previous night. "Pretty much as before," she replied. "My legs are my best friends." Time went by and on the third time they met up, the girl looked radiantly happy. "You're looking well," commented her mate. "Something's doing you good." "Oh yes," replied the girl. "I've met this wonderful bloke and let's just say even the best of friends must part."
  2. uk666

    Close The Case

    Close The Case A young couple bought a parrot, but quickly discovered that he could cause them a lot of embarrassment. Every time someone came to the house, he would tell them what the couple had been up to, particularly what went on in the evenings on the sofa. "That's it, I've had enough," said the man, "from now on, you'll be covered up early in the evening so you can't see what's going on. Otherwise, it's the zoo for you." A few days later, the couple decided to go away for a week's holiday so they spent the evening packing and of course filled the suitcase to overflowing. "I've got an idea," said the man. "I'll get on top, press down as much as I can and you can tell me what's happening." But the case wouldn't close. "This is no good," remarked the wife. "Here, let me have a go, I'll get on top and we'll see if it's any better." Still they couldn't get the case to close, so the man said, "Let's both get on top, bounce up and down and maybe that'll work." Suddenly the parrot pulled off the cage cover and squawked: "I'll take my chances at the zoo, but this I've just got to see?"
  3. Standing Ovation A speaker, who was less than modest, was booked to address an audience at a university. About two hours before she was supposed to speak, a couple of student jokers, loaded all the folding chairs from the auditorium into a truck and drove off. No one knew about this until the audience began to arrive for the lecture. It was too late to do anything about it, and the audience had to stand throughout her talk. That evening she wrote a letter to her mother: “It was a tremendous success. Hours before I got there, every seat in the house was taken, and I was given a standing ovation throughout my speech."
  4. Joining The Police Alisdair Biggar, a 5-foot 2-inch Scotsman, applied to join to the New York City police force. The inspector glared at him and asked, 'How would you disperse a large, unruly crowd?' 'Well,' replied Alisdair thoughtfully: 'I'm no too sure how ye do it here in New York, but back home we just pass the hat around, and they soon begin to shuffle off.'
  5. Rare Nike Shoes Fetch More Than $400,000 A rare pair of Nike's "Moon Shoe" has broken the world auction record for a pair of sneakers, according to New York auction house Sotheby's. A pair of 1972 running shoes, one of the first pairs made by Nike, has sold for $437,500 (£359,710) shattering the record for a pair of trainers at public auction. The so-called Nike “Moon Shoe,” designed by Nike co-founder and track coach Bill Bowerman for runners at the 1972 Olympics trials, was the top lot in the first-ever auction dedicated to sneakers at Sotheby’s auction house in New York. Sotheby’s said the price was a world auction record for a pair of running shoes. The buyer was Canadian investor and car collector Miles Nadal, who paid $850,000 for 99 other pairs of rare or limited collection sneakers offered by Sotheby’s. The highest previous price fetched at public auction for sneakers was $190,373 in California in 2017 for a pair of signed Converse shoes said to have been worn by Michael Jordan in the 1984 Olympic basketball final, Sotheby’s said. Sotheby’s, better known for selling art works fetching tens of millions of dollars, teamed up with streetwear marketplace Stadium Goods to auction 100 pairs of the rarest sneakers ever produced in a venture that reflects their fast-growing status as collectibles. The handmade “Moon Shoe,” with a waffle sole pattern, was one of only 12 pairs ever made and the pair that were auctioned on Tuesday are the only ones known to exist in an unworn condition, Sotheby’s said. Nadal, the founder of investment firm Peerage Capital, said in a statement he was thrilled at his purchase, calling the “Moon Shoe” a “true historical artefact in sports history and pop culture”. “I think sneaker culture and collecting is on the verge of a breakout moment,” he added, saying he plans to display them, along with the other 99 pairs he acquired in a private sale last week, at his private automobile museum in Toronto. Nadal’s haul included 2011 and 2016 versions of the Back to the Future Part II limited-edition shoes by Nike that were inspired by the 1989 film starring Michael J Fox. Noah Wunsch, global head of eCommerce at Sotheby’s, said the sneaker auction brought together art, culture and fashion.