uk666 5,298 Report post Posted March 24, 2017 The Hierarchy of the Academic World DEPT. CHAIR: Leaps tall building in a single bound Is more powerful than a locomotive Is faster than a speeding bullet Walks on water Gives policy to God FULL PROF: Leaps short buildings in a single bound Is more powerful than a switch engine Is just as fast as a speeding bullet Walks on water if the sea is calm Talks with God ASSOCIATE PROF: Leaps short buildings with a running start and favourable winds Is almost as powerful as a switch engine Is faster than a speeding BB Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool Talks with God if special request is approved ASSISTANT PROF: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings Is run over by locomotive Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury Dog paddles Talks to animals GRAD STUDENT: Runs into buildings Recognizes locomotive two out of three times Is not issued ammunition Can't stay afloat with a life preserver Talks to walls UNDERGRAD: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter building Says "look at the choo-choo" Wets himself with a water pistol Plays in mud puddles Mumbles to himself DEPT. SECRETARY: Lifts buildings and walks under them Kicks locomotives off the tracks Catches speeding bullets in her teeth Freezes water with a single glance She is God 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
