21 REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN RELIGION

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21 REASONS WHY BEER IS BETTER THAN RELIGION

1. Drinking beer directly benefits the welfare of beer industry.
2. Religion doesn't help ugly people have sex.
3. Once you have committed your life to beer, you will never agonise over the sincerity of your commitment or the wavering of your faith.
4. If you pray for a beer, your prayers can usually be answered with great immediacy and surety as long as you've got money.
5. It is against the law to offer beer to little children who are not old enough to think for themselves.
6. It's impossible to speak about beer in a blasphemous way, unless, of course, you live in Ireland.
7. Both the Irish and the English will always agree that beer is a good thing.
8. There have been virtually no major wars fought over beer.
9. You don't have to read entire questionably translated voluminous esoteric tomes in order to understand beer drinking.
10. If you are in possession of a beer, you won't be going door to door trying to force it on someone else.
11. No one has to get crucified so that anyone who wants to drink beer can do so.
12. If you've been taking beer way too seriously for way too long, there are organisations that can help you give up the habit.
13. It truly is possible for beer to be on everyone's side.
14. You'll never have to go on a mission that interrupts your athletic career if you drink beer.
15. People won't shun you at parties if you start talking to them about beer.
16. Don't drink and drive is your one, easy to remember commandment.
17. If you don't want to eat bread and drink beer at the same time, you don't have to.
18. With beer, conceptions will be anything but mysteriously immaculate.
19. No one will kill you for not drinking beer.
20. If you really, seriously think there's something hiding behind the moon, you're probably thinking it's a beer.
21. You don't have to leave home bright and early Sunday morning in order to start drinking beer