Why Star Wars was better than Titanic

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Why Star Wars was better than Titanic

1. Titanic was be big, but it doesn't have hyperdrive.

2. Yoda could use the Force to just lift Titanic out of the water.

3. Leia is a princess, a senator, a diplomat, a freedom fighter, a brilliant strategist, and Jedi material; Rose is just cute marriage bait.

4. Ewoks throw better parties than either first class or steerage.

5. When flying towards the Titanic, Wedge couldn't say "WOW! Look at the size of that thing!" with any sincerity.

6. It would be much scarier to get chased around the boat by an evil madman with a lightsabre as opposed to an idiot with a handgun.

7. Titanic is egalitarian in that it portrays poor people as sympathetic characters. Star Wars is egalitarian by promoting bug-eyed amphibians to the rank of Admiral.

8. We know Cal is the bad guy because he greases his hair, sneers at the poor, and treats his fiancée like property. We know Darth Vader is the bad guy because he wears an ominous, voluminous black cape and mysterious mask, strangles people with a glance and blows up entire planets for sport.

9. Yeah, okay, so Leo can dance...but can he fly an X-wing?

10. People have never lost their lives trying to recreate scenes from Star Wars on the bow of a cruise liner.

11. Rose braves icy water to rescue her man. Leia braves Jabba the Hut. Now c'mon...who's really the brave one here?

12. Look at some of the Cast: Mark Hamill (Luke Skywalker), Harrison Ford (Han Solo), Carrie Fisher (Princess Leia), Peter Cushing OBE (Grand Moff Tarkin) and Sir Alec Guinness, CH, CBE (Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi).

13. There are always more than enough escape pods in Star Wars.

14. Do you have any idea what the Empire does to self-proclaimed "kings of the world"?

15. If Luke were handcuffed to a pipe below decks in a sinking ship, he would either...

                 A: Cut himself free with his lightsaber;

                 B: Use the Force to get the key; or

                 C: Han Solo would come in at the last second and blast the cuffs off.

16. "I'd rather be his whore than your wife" just doesn't have the same sting as "I'd rather kiss a Wookie."

17. We all knew the boat was gonna sink, but who was ready for "Luke....I am your father." ???

18. Han Solo would've missed that dang iceberg!

19. Han, though frozen solid in carbonite and turned into a wall ornament, returns in excellent health to mount a successful mission against the Empire on Endor, crushing the enemy and single-handedly paving the way for a brilliant air campaign which results in the destruction of the Empire's second attempt at a Death Star, AND claims the heart of his woman with whom he will live happily ever after. Jack, on the other hand, simply freezes.

20. By being patient and waiting, Luke discovers that Leia is his sister without any romantic complications. Leo sleeps with Kate after knowing her for a day and a half. What if she was his Leo's sister.......ewwwwww!!!

21. Luke single-handedly destroys an 5 story tall Emperial AT-AT with no assistance while Leo can't even handle that old geezer who took him captive. He should've just crushed his throat while he had the chance.

22. While facing imminent death, Luke manages to outsmart the Rancor that tried to eat him when he hit the switch that brought down the gate on the Rancor, and killing it. While Leo was probably the only person in the whole stinkin world that couldn't figure out that there actually WAS enough room for two people on the floating piece of wood.

23. The strongest display of emotion the audience sees from Rose is when she spits in her fiancé’s eye. Leia blows away those two storm troopers that came up behind Han, after being shot!!!